Simon Novotny (1978-06-16 – 2005-06-14)
Simon Novotny's suicide note (Swiss German)
Simon Novotny (son of "Abner" and "Mary" Novotny) was raised in The Family International and left the group in 1994 at age 15 when he moved in with his grandparents in Switzerland.
The year before he died he quit his well-paid job and began spending most of his time at home. Nine months later, due to difficulties in getting along in life, he committed himself to a mental institution. He was diagnosed with schizophrenia and began taking prescribed medication.
Shortly after his release from the institution he chose to discontinue his medication. A few days later, on June 14, 2005, he shot himself.
In the suicide note he left behind, he stated that he had often contemplated suicide in the previous years and came close to acting on those thoughts a number of times.
"I busted my ass to accomplish something in the System, but had no endurance", wrote Simon of his life after the Family.
"I hope my family will be well in the future. What I can say with 100% certainty is that the cult ruined me, and that I wasn’t able to accept myself. Integrating into society also took it out of me, mainly because I was 'different'. For the last 4 years my social phobia has continually tormented me—almost relentlessly."
Transcript of Simon's suicide note
Ich han mi scho längst entschiede, dass ich nümmer will wieter läbe. Ihr werdet dänke ich hät mit der Behandlig wieterfahren sole, tatsach isch damals als ich mien Gewehr abgeh han wars scho mehrmals fast passiert.
Ich bin ziemlich im Arsch gsi gäge dä Schluss psychisch & physisch. Ich hoffe im nächst Läbe hän i die bessere Karte. Ich han mi sehr damit beschäftigt siet mehrere Jahren scho mich umzbringe damals als ich mein Job kündt han.
Es tut mir so leid.
Ich han mi dä Arsch ufgrisse um etwas zu erschaffen dem System han aber kei durchhaltungsvermögen cha.
Ich hoffe mini Familie gähts gut in Zukunft. Was ich mit 100% sicherheit cha sage d'Sekte hät mi gschlisse und dass ich mich sälber nöd ha chöne akzeptieren.
Dä Integration hat mi au schwer zugesetzt vor allem will ich "anders" gsi bin.
Mini panische Soziale phobie hät mi immer quält in dä letzte 4 Jahren fast ununterbrochen. Ich han irgend wann dä Mut ufbracht dä Verschluss & Gewehr & Notmunition gefunde han und ich ha mi gfreut uf die befurn Art und Wiess abzraten.
I've long decided that I don't want to live anymore. You'll think I should have continued the therapy, but the fact is, back then when gave my gun away it would have almost happened a number of times.
Towards the end I've been pretty messed up, both psychologically and physically. I hope I get dealt better cards in the next life. I've been contemplating killing myself for a few years since I quit my job.
I'm so sorry.
I busted my ass to accomplish something in the System, but had no endurance.
I hope my family will be well in the future. What I can say with 100% certainty is that the cult ruined me, and that I wasn’t able to accept myself.
Integrating into society also took it out of me, mainly because I was "different".
For the last 4 years my social phobia has continually tormented me—almost relentlessly. Somewhere I mustered up the courage, found the lock, gun and ammo, and was happy to [undecipherable] that way.