FSM 354

From XFamily - Children of God

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OUR side: In Defense of our Faith, Family, and Lifestyle, Part 3

FSM 354 CM/FM 09/00


If you feel led to share portions of this FSM series with former members, close friends of the Family, or relatives who have questions along these lines, you may do so, if the Lord confirms it for each individual. Please get His guidelines and counsel on precisely which testimonies or excerpts would benefit your friends, and prayerfully “preview” the material beforehand.


They Live to Serve

By Jason, 29, CRO, Mexico

My name is Jason, and has been during my whole life in the Family (beginning when I was four when my mom, Seek, joined the Family with me and my two sisters in 1974). I’m now 29 years old, and believe I am married to the most wonderful woman in the world (Cedar), and the Lord has blessed us with six beautiful children-five boys and one girl to date! The Lord gave me my own little “basketball team,” ha! PTL!

I probably only know a small percentage of you personally, although through the stream of testimonies, articles, pics, etc., that get pubbed, I feel like I’ve gotten to know many of you, and pray for you often.

During my time growing up in the Family I was blessed to have experienced a childhood of excitement, seeing souls won and lives changed by the miracle-working power of the Lord’s love. We learned to abound and abase at times, but as a kid, I personally saw the Lord faithfully supply all our needs as our little missionary family, the Little Farmers as we were called, traveled and lived in 14 different countries by faith. This is the story of most of our Family SGAs who have grown up serving the Lord in the Family alongside their parents.

As a teenager I attended the Mexico TTC ‘86, which was a real milestone in my life, and was a time I look back on as having been when I made a solid personal decision to forsake all and give my life to the Lord. Following the TTC, I lived and served the Lord as a senior teen in a number of “teen homes” in Mexico, Brazil and the US.

Overall, one of my main ministries in the Family has always been witnessing, singing, and other outreach-type ministries. This has always been a real highlight in my life, and I am presently very excited seeing all the Lord is doing through the Activated program in the Family. I feel it’s getting us all back to the basics of what we joined, or have made a decision to stay in the Family for. TYJ!

Only about four-and-a-half years ago, right after Summit ‘96, my wife, Cedar, and I were asked if we would like to join the NACRO teamwork, which has been a wonderful and life-changing experience for both of us. As I mentioned before in a Zine interview, when the NACRO teamwork first invited us to join their team, I felt like, “I hope they know what they (the NACRO teamwork) are getting themselves into!”-Ha! But feeling Mama and Peter’s faith in us through this invitation really encouraged our hearts and gave us the faith that if we were offered the job, then the Lord could also give us the anointing and help that we needed to do it.

Of course, the road down “CRO lane,” so to speak, has not always been a “bed of roses,” and to be honest, there have been moments when we thought, “Enough is enough; we can’t do the job another day. We’ve got too many kids, we’re too young, and besides, neither of us can even type!”-Ha! But it has been at these times when we’ve come to the end of our rope and felt like we needed to step out of our shepherding responsibilities, and on a couple of occasions have even turned in our “resignations” to Mama and Peter, that we have felt such incredible and unconditional love from both of them, which has been such an encouragement and strength in helping us to hold on.

I guess this brings me to the reason that I wanted to write you, my dear co-workers, Family and friends. Recently I’ve been approached by other Family young people expressing their questions regarding letters that have been circulated via the Internet by former members, who in the name of “sharing their hearts,” have vented their personal doubts and criticisms of Mama and Peter and the Word the Lord has given us through them.

I guess when hearing such accusations from some of our detractors, it inevitably does catch our attention, especially when they come from names or people we know or have heard of, or who have served the Lord in the Family with us for many years. In some cases it has even been our dear friends and loved ones. The effects of some of our former members’ negative dissertations are also compounded a bit in situations where the sources may have been in positions of influence themselves while in the Family. In situations such as these, it can be our natural reaction to assume that there must be something to their accusations, as some have even lived with Mama and Peter, or in WS, which can understandably seem to give even greater credibility to their complaints.

I have been no exception when it has come to wondering where some of these things have come from, as I think is only natural for us to do at times. I guess, though, one of the indisputable truths that I haven’t been able to shake, and which has been sort of a landmark or point of reference in my life when the doubts and questions have flown overhead, is the “Word bound in shoe leather” that I have been blessed to see with my own eyes in regards to Mama’s and Peter’s samples.

I have my full share of weaknesses and shortcomings and can sometimes be quite an emotional Leo, but all my life the thing that has always had the biggest effect on me is when I felt someone went out of their way to show me they cared about me, and went beyond the call of duty, so to speak, to show me the Lord’s love. This has always had a profound effect on me, and is the reason I’m here today. Say what you like, these actions always spoke louder to me than words.

This is what I’d like to share with you about Mama and Peter. Sadly, recently some of our detractors have launched a direct attack on Mama’s and Peter’s character, which has saddened me greatly. I’ve never lived in WS, but over the last eight years I feel that I have been blessed to be able to get to know Peter quite well, and more recently I met Mama, and I personally feel that their sample speaks for itself. I know that there are numerous things that stand out about Mama and Peter when you get to know them, but more than anything, the thing that has resonated in my heart long after the times I’ve been able to be around them has been their sacrificial love for the Lord and others. To me they truly live the verse, “Greater love hath no man than this, that a man lay down his life for his friends.”

I would like to share a few specific examples of how their sample touched my life. As wonderful as it was for me to attend Summit ‘96, it was also a time of tremendous battles for me. Prior to the Summit, Cedar and I, on a couple of occasions, had begun taking steps to practice living the sexual side of the Law of Love, only to hit some pretty tough spots in this respect. We had largely stepped out into this new territory on our own with little counsel or shepherding due to our not seeking help and prayer as much as we should have. Anyhow, we were still pretty sensitive in these areas when arriving at the Summit, which made me quite closed to the idea of my wife and I sharing sexually during the Summit (not that we had a problem sharing with each other during the Summit or any other time, for that matter, as is evidenced from our six kids, ha!). My fear of sharing was made worse (as always) when listening to the Enemy’s lies, as he would tell me that I was going to be looked down on for my battles, or that I was going to be pressured to share, even if I didn’t have the faith for it.

At first, even though Cedar and I weren’t sharing with others at the Summit, I was still going through huge trials-to where one day I privately went to Dust in tears, who besides being my shepherd at the time was also a dear friend, and still is-saying, “You’ve got to get me out of here, because I can’t make it, and I don’t want to fail my wife or the Lord.” It was that night that he told Peter that I had been going through these severe battles, after which he and Peter had evidently stopped and prayed for me. Peter and I then bumped into each other that night in the kitchen and Peter gave me a huge hug and held on to me and looked into my eyes and told me, “Don’t worry, you don’t have to do anything you don’t have the faith for.” He was so understanding and compassionate, I could really tell he understood what I was going through, and that just helped to blow all the Enemy’s lies and doubts right out of the water; it gave me the faith that I could make it, in spite of how weak I felt in this area.

Another incident which really struck me was when I saw Peter kneel and humbly ask all of us at Summit ‘96 to pray that he wouldn’t even be tempted to get lifted up in pride before the first united meeting. He said, “I know that I can’t do it, and I can’t afford to let the Enemy in by getting lifted up in pride, because I know it’s got to be the Lord.” Seeing Peter’s humility and admission of weakness by acknowledging his need for the Lord’s help to all of us really made an impression on me that “this guy is for real!” It was exactly the opposite sample of what some of our recent detractors have claimed.

There were numerous occasions during the last two Summits as well where I saw Peter go out of his way to encourage and spend time with those attending even when it compromised his own health. I would see sometimes that he was noticeably exhausted from giving meeting after meeting, and personal time after personal time, and I could tell that he would have liked nothing better than to just crash in his room for a couple days and probably not talk to anybody, but he kept sweetly plugging along, smiling and spending time with people. It was the kind of situation where if he were in it for himself at all, he would have definitely gone about things very differently, but I could really see the Lord’s longsuffering and sacrificial love being manifested through his sample, and there was no doubt in my mind that he was there for the Lord and no other reason.

I can also remember about seven or eight years ago when I first met Peter at sort of a selah YA meeting in Washington, D.C. This was several years before the Charter, and to say the least, all of us young people were full of our subjects as far as the things we thought needed to change in the Family and in our personal Home situations. Nothing Peter said spoke to me as much as the way he listened to everything the young people had to say. You could definitely tell that he was there because he wanted to hear us out and valued the things we had to say. I could also see in him a desire to make the Family a place where we, as young people in the Family, could find a place of fulfillment serving the Lord.

This was evidenced on one occasion when he put the new tape “The Lion, the Dragon, and the Beast” on for us. None of us had heard it until that time, and since it was quite a masterpiece for its time in the Family, we all sat around in a circle silently absorbing the beautiful words and musical accompaniment. We all thought it was great, and sat listening in awe. Whereas, Peter, not understanding if we liked or disliked it since we were too involved in listening to comment on it, thought that maybe we were all disappointed in how it turned out. So he slipped out of our little circle and sat off to the side really going through it (as he later told us), wondering if maybe they had really screwed up with its production since none of us seemed to like it. Ha!

I can also remember the first time I met Peter, which was right before these meetings started. SGA David (of Shanti) and I were some of the first SGAs to arrive at this little house where we were going to have these meetings, as we had been asked if we could come a little earlier to help with organizing a schedule for the meeting days. When I heard that Peter was there, naturally I got quite nervous. After a few minutes of pace walking around the house wondering, “What am I doing here?” Peter came down the stairs and gave me a big hug and thanked me for coming early to help. He then prayed with me, and after the prayer said, “Boy, I’m sorry for praying for so long. Sometimes I get a little long-winded, Lord help me!” This right away took a lot of the “spiritual” steam out of my balloon thinking I had to make a “good impression,” because he was so sweet and down to earth and so himself.

On another occasion at one of the Summits, Peter made a point to come up to Cedar and me and gave us some money so we could go eat out together since things had been pretty busy, and getting some time away together was just what we needed at the time. This really touched our hearts as there were tons of other people there and all kinds of things going on which Peter was involved with, but the fact that he had thought of us in this way was a little touch of the Lord’s love for us.

There was also one occasion more recently when Cedar and I had the blessing of being able to meet Mama. This was something that we did not anticipate, but was such a sweet surprise from the Lord. It was just a brief encounter and only lasted for an afternoon, but was nevertheless unforgettable for us. At first I didn’t know exactly how to act or what to say, but Mama was just one bundle of sweetness and love. Such a wonderful mother! One of the subjects we discussed around the table while we talked over dinner was some recent witnessing adventures she had had with some of her relatives which she was quite excited about, and how much she had enjoyed being able to spend time pouring out to them and showing them how much she loved and appreciated them.

Her simplicity also stood out to me, and I could tell that her clothes, although pretty, were very low on her priority list. And like that saying, “If you believe in something, you talk about it,” Mama was constantly talking about and praising the Lord. There was no doubt in my mind that she lived to love and serve Him. She was the kind of person that inspired you to want to love the Lord, too. She also constantly laughed at herself and her own funny ways, and constantly gave God the glory for anything and everything good accomplished through her.

I can honestly attest that Mama and Peter live to serve the Family. That is their heartfelt prayer and desire, and if they lead by anything, it’s by the most dedicated sample you have ever seen in your life. They personally live what they preach, and then some. On one occasion when Cedar and I talked with Peter explaining that we were having a hard time keeping up with the demands of our CRO job (there have been several of these occasions-ha!), Peter told us that if we couldn’t keep up with the messages and correspondence, etc., or any of the other CRO-business-type stuff for that matter, if we would just love the Family, then we’d be doing the job the Lord wanted us to do.

Mama and Peter give their lives daily for all of us. When they stand before the Lord they want to hear, “Well done, My good and faithful servants,” as we all do. They have to say “yes” to Jesus every day, just like us. I know the Devil must also really fight them and try to discourage them at times, but what keeps them going is their desire not to fail the Lord or the Family.

Having had these personal firsthand experiences, I cannot reconcile the grievances that some former members have recently leveled against Mama and Peter, other than to say that somewhere along the line they must have had a hard time receiving the things the Lord was doing in their lives. We all face battles as Christians in the service of our wonderful Husband and Savior, this goes for Christians universally, but we can’t rightfully blame our problems or personal crisis on someone else. “By their fruits ye shall know them,” and “every man shall give an account of himself before the Lord.”

I personally feel that not everyone is called to serve the Lord in the Family. It’s a specialized place of service that is not everybody’s cup of tea, and there are many Christians around the world who are fulfilling God’s calling in their lives in other capacities. The Family is not perfect, but our goal is to win the world for Jesus, no matter how crazy a bunch we may seem to the world sometimes, or how radical our doctrines may look.

All through the history of the Bible, God always chose the weak and foolish things-Moses was slow of speech, Jeremiah was young and incapable, Hosea married a harlot, Isaiah ran around naked, and Ezekiel ate dung, just to name a few examples. They also said of Jesus that He had a devil and was a winebibber, a friend of publicans and sinners. As far as the Bible is concerned, there is ample precedence for the Lord doing things exactly the way that many scoffers have thought they shouldn’t be done. Jesus said to the Scribes and the Pharisees that if the people didn’t cry out in praise to Him, the rocks would. If He could use rocks, He can surely use us.

I’m not a super writer, dear Family, although I’m ever so thankful for the wonderful heritage I’ve been given growing up in the Family, and thus wanted to share some of the things I’ve “seen and heard.” The one thing I do know is that if the Family were of man, it would come to naught, but if it be of God, no man can stand against it. If people want to knock a work that’s of God, that’s really up to them, but if they want to challenge God, they will quickly find that they’re barking up the wrong tree!

Even the fact that some claim that the fruits of the Family are good but the “tree” is bad does not make spiritual or physical sense. Without the Word and faith in the Word, as a Christian movement, we’re dead. Some of our detractors would love nothing more than to see the Family disband and stop accomplishing our work for the Lord, because they feel it would justify their own lack of faith and obedience, but this should not make our calling in the Family unsure. It’s much easier to criticize the Family and its leadership than live the life of a full-time disciple in it, as we all know it’s not a piece of cake, but we in the Family have voluntarily chosen this calling in our lives because we feel it’s the Lord’s will for us personally.

When we in the Family suffer attacks from even our own friends and loved ones, instead of looking at it as a setback, or a problem with the Family, we should take courage that “all those who live Godly in Christ Jesus shall suffer persecution,” even when at times it comes from those close to us. The Bible says so! This story is as old as the hills, but when this “movie” plays in our own back yard, we sometimes falter and start to question. Lord help us! It all depends on your perspective.

A wife lovingly takes care of her husband out of love and devotion, not because of control. We serve the Lord in the Family not because we are “hoodwinked” by corrupt leaders, but because we love the Lord, and Mama and Peter’s lives have served as a loving example for us to follow. Jesus died for us, so in a sense we are His love slaves because He bought and paid for us. But by the same token, the sample that He gave us as our Lord and Master was to call us friends, and showed us by His sample that he that is greatest must be servant of all, as He stooped to wash His disciples’ feet.

Being a shepherd in the Family means being a servant of your brethren. Mama and Peter live to serve, and encourage us as Family leaders to do the same. So, I wholeheartedly say that if some former members term Peter and Mama’s love and sample of following the Lord as “control” and “manipulation,” then bring it on! We could use a lot more of that kind of manipulation. Ha! God help us as Christians to never get to the point where we look down on God’s anointed prophets. “Believe in the Lord your God, so shall ye be established. Believe in His prophets, so shall you prosper.” Remember, true love is filling the role God has for you to play-which also goes for supporting others in their roles for the Lord!

I love you, dear Family, and thank the Lord every day for the blessing and privilege of being part of this Family. “There is no greater calling than to be a child of God, and no greater honor than to be a voice for Him!”


My Years in the King and Queen’s House

By Amy (of Gabe), Mama’s Home


How is it that My Word brings such great joy and uplifting to some, and to others it brings heaviness? Is it not the same water? Is it not the same truth? But in one it is received and in the other it is rejected. It is a battle of the heart and it is a battle of the mind.” (Prophecies on Doubts, ML #3041)


I must say I had to laugh at some of the things James Penn wove into his letter. If it were not such a serious attack on my Family and my life, it would be absolutely absurd! But the sad thing is, he is dead serious in what he feels and what he has presented to so many in this vicious attack. Why am I so surprised? Even Jesus said the time will come that some will kill us, thinking they do God service, so a little slander and lying shouldn’t come as such a shock to me.

I guess the reason it’s such a shock is that I remember James as my friend, as someone I used to fellowship with, live with, work with, and yes, love with. For all his talk of the horrible practices in our Family, he was perfectly happy and content during the years that I knew and lived with him. I don’t know what happened and I can’t judge and won’t, but I can say, I was in the same place at the same time as he was and saw the same things he did. We lived with Dad and Mama and Peter for many years together and I have to say that I certainly don’t review history as he does. It’s pretty amazing to me that he can turn around and stab in the back people he loved and knew and people who loved him dearly and who never failed to give him all that they could, in love and care, and who were his very personal family at the time.

Maybe others have experienced this when friendships have ended. It’s amazing how love can turn to hate, and I will never understand how this happens, but it saddens me very deeply to have this attack on my Family spread to whoever will listen. I would encourage anyone who has heard his rendition of history to please keep your minds open. I’ve lived through 16 or 17 years of “history” with Dad, Mama and Peter, and I have a very different tale to tell. When I first came to live with the folks in 1982, I cooked Dad and Mama’s meals and had lots of sweet contact with them. How can people so cruel be so kind? They never ever failed to thank me, to hug me, and to ask me about myself personally for years and years. Did they do this because I was so “in there” and being so “good”?

Believe me, there were many, many times that I had my battles and that I was certainly no saint, but rather a weak human being, simply trying to do my best, but do I remember them ostracizing me for the times I was not “in there”? Of course not! What I recall was having dear friends in Peter, Mama, and yes, Dad. They cared for me as a member of their personal family, just as you would your flesh children. If your kids are bad or good, you love them unconditionally, and that is certainly the treatment I’ve received from the folks for all the years I’ve known them.

If your mom or dad had to correct you, it probably was never nice and you didn’t want it to happen, but they were your parents and loved you, and what they did, they did for your good. If Dad, Mama or Peter have had to correct anyone over the years, that is always the way I’ve seen them operate. They’ve had love and mercy over and over and over again. I should know. After helping in the kitchen for years, I became part of the teamwork of their Home. Do you think I didn’t hear from them the “inside scoop” of how they felt about people who had problems? Of course I did. And let me tell you, the mercy that Mama and Peter have had on people, consistently, is truly a reflection of the Lord’s mercy. I have learned so much about love and mercy and the care of the sheep through their sample.

What happens when someone in our Home has problems? What happens when someone isn’t “in there”? I can tell you, because I’ve experienced this for years now. It really offends me that James would say the folks don’t care about people, when I would say that one of their greatest strengths is their love for the sheep. Why on earth would they sacrifice every day of their personal lives to serve others? Why would they spend countless hours in prayer and working on the Words for our Family if they were selfish and only wanted power and control? Why would they spend hours and hours of counseling and prayer in trying to help someone overcome their problems, often at the expense of time spent getting out the Word, if they weren’t trying to help people? Don’t you think they’d find some method that was a little more lucrative in order to have their “control and power”? What do they get in return for their laboring to help others? They are not lavish nor do they live in riches as so many accused Dad of doing. They have everything they need, but when you compare them to any head of any organization or company, they look like paupers.

If they wanted control of people, then they’d go about things completely differently, believe me. They certainly wouldn’t live with a bunch of people communally, sharing what they have with everyone and being a dear father and mother to their personal little flock. Why would they waste time trying to get control of people? What does control profit them? What do they manipulate our Family to do? Preach the Gospel? Do CTPs? Love one another? Good grief! Anyone with a brain can read the Letters and see that the constant overwhelming theme is to reach the lost, follow up on the sheep, get out the Words, care for the sheep, love people. Are Peter and Mama writing the Family and telling them they have to give them more money, more control, more what? Of course not! Letter after Letter is encouraging people to use their own talents and gifts to do as much as they can for the Lord. They’re encouraging us over and over and over again to use our connection with the Lord to hear from Him and get His instructions for our own lives.

Where is the truth to these accusations raised against Mama and Peter? I live with them, I know them intimately-certainly much better than almost anybody does. I just can’t fathom such far-fetched stories and tales. And we’re accused of getting weird tales from our other-worldly friends? This letter from James is a great stab at historical fiction, well written, interesting, full of great details, but SO fictionalized and colored by the tainted views of the author. Yes, history did happen, but the fiction woven into it is really outlandish.

To say Dad manipulated the Family for his own purposes is just the wildest thing I’ve heard! Dad, whose every breath given was for others, for reaching the lost, for spreading the Word. James must have seen the hours Dad spent in giving of himself for the good of others, not for his own gain, nor for his own purposes. Where was James when Dad was praying for the lost and getting out the Word to encourage us in the Family to do the same? Go back and read the Letters. Was Dad trying to get more control over people? Look at how many Letters Dad wrote to try to get people to connect with the Lord, to be indigenous, to reach the lost, to go into all the world and preach the Gospel. Is his fruit an example of someone who was trying to keep control, or someone who was constantly trying to get us to look to the Lord and to do something for Jesus?

I really am disgusted at people who try to tear down others who are doing their best to do good. That’s what I don’t understand fully about some of those who leave the Family. If they go on in another branch of the Lord’s service, or if they get a job and do whatever they want to do, I don’t go maligning them or speaking badly about them. Why do they have to do so to us?

I see Mama and Peter every morning taking quiet time, I hear them praising the Lord, looking to Him in yieldedness to His will, seeking for His strength to do what they can to help me and the Family be all we can be for Jesus. Is this their crime? Is it a weirdness that they want to follow Jesus closely? Is it so strange that they would encourage all of us around them to do the same?

Now if I saw Mama and Peter doing some of the things James says they do, I too would be very upset. But the fact is, I am here, and I see Mama and Peter, I talk to them, I debate issues with them. Do they tell me to be quiet and give me a prophecy telling me that I should think like them? Of course not! I talk to them regularly about people’s needs, trials and victories, but I don’t hear them telling me to get prophecies to manipulate people’s lives. If this is in reality what they are like, why wouldn’t I be privy to this since I am so close to them? The only conclusion I can come to is: That’s not how they operate!

What I do hear them give is counsel on how to help people get their answers from the Lord. I do hear them say to seek the Lord about the most loving and best way to help someone. I do not hear them spending their time talking about people who have left our ranks, and railing on and on about them. That’s not what Mama and Peter are like, and if people don’t know that by now, they must not be reading the Letters.

The Letters are a reflection of the love Mama and Peter have for our dearest Love, Jesus. I truly see daily that they deeply love the Lord, and that is their motivation in life, to do all they can to love, help, and heal. Why are people whose purpose is the opposite of this so intent on hindering us in what we want to do? I love the Family. I love Mama and Peter more than I could ever express, because they’re my friends. We’ve been together for years and years-through good times, bad times, and all times. Their love for me has been unconditional, as was Dad’s. I just don’t get it. Why do people slander and libel them and us? Personally, I don’t want to spend any more time thinking about it. We’ve got a job to do and we’re going to keep on doing it, regardless of the fiery darts of persecution or smears from anyone. We’ve got too much to do to spend our precious time giving heed to these fables and tales.

One thing I’d like to mention also is the subject of pressure or manipulation to be “in there” doing the right thing. I’ll tell you-I feel pressured, I feel used-and do you know Who pressures me, Who uses me?-The Lord! Of course I feel pressure to live a Godly life, to live my life for others, to give as He has given to me. Jesus and His Holy Spirit manipulate me and my life. He tells me what to do. Imagine that?! That was my choice when I decided to live for Jesus. Did you get that? FOR Jesus? I don’t want to live for myself, I want to live for Jesus.

Now can I blame Mama and Peter if they would happen to tell me something that is in God’s Word and that is the truth, if it pressures me? Well, that would be the easy way out, to blame them for trying to make me do something I didn’t want to do. But the fact is, it’s the Lord that wants me to do something, not Peter, not Mama, not my mate, not my friends. The pressure I feel at times is His conviction in my heart to be the best I can for Him. Just because my friend gives me their opinion and it’s the same as what the Lord shows me, should I blame them for trying to run my life, to control it, to manipulate me?

Sometimes I don’t want to do what the Lord tells me to do, and I’m sorry about that, I’m not perfect. But I’ve never been judged by Mama, nor by Peter, nor by Dad for getting off track, and I’ve certainly not been manipulated, coerced, or forced by them to do anything. If you know me at all, you know how hard it is to force me to do something I don’t want to do or that I don’t personally feel is what the Lord wants me to do. I’m a very stubborn person and I even put up a fight with the Lord sometimes. But this has not changed the folks’ unconditional love for me, nor their respect for me, nor their trust in me. Yes, they’ve shot straight with me and told me what they felt, but they’ve done so as my friends, as those who love me and care about my soul, not as hirelings!

There have been times I’ve disagreed with them and even argued with them and vented my frustration about things, but they have never retaliated. They are some of the most open-minded people I know, who listen to not only me, but to everyone’s opinion that wants to share it with them. Why would they want to hear from you and give you an address to write them if they didn’t care about what you thought? They don’t only take counsel from those who agree with them. I certainly don’t always agree, and when I bring up the other side of a matter, I don’t get shot down. They may be human and have their weaknesses, but their strengths far, far outweigh those times when they may not be perfect. But I have to honestly say, those times are few and far between.

Look around you. Is the Family really a place where people have to do what they’re told even if they don’t want to? I think we should give our brethren more credit than that. They have wonderful works for the Lord, and families and Homes that are really doing something for Jesus. Do you really think that is the fruit of people having to do what they’re told even if they don’t agree? I think there’s a lot more leeway in our Family to do what you have the faith for than in most businesses or jobs in the System. If you don’t get with the program at your job in the System, for the most part, you just lose your job. In the Family we have all sorts of individuality in serving the Lord. People are free to follow Him as their faith runs.

Who is forcing anyone to do what Mama and Peter want them to do? Lots of people have stepped out of the Family and are perfectly happy. Lots of people are in the Family and are perfectly happy. So what is the problem here? There are a lot of wonderful young people who are challenged and really doing something for the Lord. There are others who have left, and we certainly are learning how to make things easier for them as well. Why would Mama and Peter make up some story telling our Family to show unconditional love to them if they didn’t mean it? Really. What good would it do them and why would they spend time on something like this unless they meant it and really loved folks?

Do you think it’s easy to be behind the scenes day after day publishing Letters? Do you think the hours and hours Mama spends listening to her tapes and hearing from the Family is an easy job? Do people even realize how little recreation Mama has, simply because she loves her work, she loves to hear what’s happening in the Family, she loves to ask the Lord for help for them, she loves to seek the Lord and find solutions for them? How much time do you think she spends on herself? Or Peter, for that matter?

Why would he keep up his work if he didn’t feel it made a difference in this world for Jesus? Don’t you think he’d much rather be on some sunny isle drinking piña coladas, rather than working so hard to “manipulate and control” the Family so that he can have what?-His basic needs? Anyone who has a brain can see and tell that the folks put their time into truly helping the Family out of love for them, love for the lost, and love for our dearest and most precious Love, Jesus. This is truth.

Just today, I chanced upon a Letter during my personal Word time, and I think this challenge from Jesus is a challenging end to my rambling thoughts:


More Thoughts from the Lord on Doubts!

(Prophecy:) Be not buffeted about by the Enemy. It is the Enemy’s tempestuous winds and foul breeze of doubts and stench of lies trying to cloud your mind, trying to besmirch the purity of My Word. As My Word says, I am not the Author of confusion, so know these troubles come from Satan. Therefore, raise up a standard, block out his lies with the windshield of My Holy Spirit. You can of yourself do nothing, but run to Me, your strong Tower, to shield you and keep you safe. Rest in Me, and I will overcome the Wicked One and quell his blustery lies that buffet you and trouble you. I will calm you and stay you through this time of stormy trial. (End of prophecy.)


As I See It-The Truth About Mama, Peter, and Our WS Family!

By Keif, Mama’s Home

Although it’s very sad whenever it happens, it’s never totally surprising to me when I hear that someone who had once been an active, fruitful, and happy member of the Family for decades has become a very discontent, disgruntled critic, breathing out horrid accusations of abuse and manipulation. I say it’s not surprising, because the same thing almost happened to me after the RNR. Although I was still officially a member of the Family, I had allowed myself to get so far off track, that it was only by the grace of God that I was finally, after several years, able to open my heart to the truth and break free from the downward spiral that I was on.

It’s hard to explain everything that took place in my spirit and in my thoughts once I began opening the door to the deceitful poison of the Enemy. It didn’t happen overnight; I never even saw it coming-until it was almost too late. I didn’t realize or admit to myself that I was drifting away and becoming hardened to the truth. In fact, as bad as it sounds, although I was feeling extremely dead and empty inside, in my pride I had come to believe that I was somehow blessed with a special understanding of how things really were, and to look down on most other Family members as being total losers.

Just a few short months before, I would never have thought it possible for me to reach the level of doubt, discouragement, disobedience, pride, worldliness and overwhelming darkness that I had ultimately reached. Before I realized what was happening to me, I had gone from being a young, idealistic, zealous, on-fire, full-of-faith, radical and totally happy Family member, to becoming a completely miserable, full-of-bitterness, negative, critical-spirited, old-bottle worldling.

But today, I don’t really want to talk about myself, except to say that if God could rescue me from the miserable, slimy pit which I had fallen into, and keep me from being totally swallowed up and destroyed by the Enemy’s lies, then He can rescue and save anyone who will sincerely call out to Him for help and deliverance.

Because it happened to me, I can’t look down on others for becoming confused and allowing themselves to drift away from the truth. But it does break my heart for them. And it’s especially sad when they allow themselves to become so deceived and eaten up with pride or bitterness, or both, that they begin trying to destroy the faith of others. Sadly, that’s something that’s happening right now through the very deceitful propaganda written by James Penn, which is evidently spreading like wildfire.

I’ve been in the Family for almost 30 years, and during that time, I’ve twice had the opportunity to live and work around Mama. The first time was when I was working for Rachel, over 20 years ago in Spain, just before the RNR. The second time has been during the last nearly two-and-a-half years. So although I’m a relative newcomer to WS, I feel that my present situation, as well as my past experiences, give me the authority to speak out concerning the things that I’ve personally observed. Although I’d prefer not to have to speak against James, I feel that I have the responsibility to set the record straight as I see it. I’ll try my best to keep my statements as close to the point as possible, and based on actual occurrences. But please believe me when I say that I could write page after page concerning the admiration and love I had for Dad, the total faith and confidence I have in Mama and Peter, and my satisfaction and pride in the Family as a whole.

Although I haven’t had the opportunity to meet some of the folks from other WS units, during the last two years that I’ve been in WS, I’ve had the blessing of being able to work very closely with all the members of Mama and Peter’s Home. James [Penn] gives the impression that those who are chosen for WS are a special breed of easily manipulated, gullible, vulnerable wimps, people who are controlled by fear, and who believe and obey unquestioningly-”ideal grist for the WS mill,” as he calls them. Ha! That sure doesn’t match the description of those in this Home-not even close!

Although the Lord does at times expect His children to obey unquestioning, the picture that James is trying to present by parroting this typical anti-cult rhetoric couldn’t be further from the truth.-And I’ll use myself as a prime example.

Those who have known me over the years know very well that if only meek little yes-men and women were chosen for WS, I would have never ever been considered as a potential candidate-because I’m basically just your typical proud, stubborn, independent and strongly opinionated Aquarian (no offense, fellow-Aquarians). I can thank God for saving me and helping me to change quite a bit over the years, but that’s my basic nature, which still crops up from time to time.

A very sad illustration of this happened during one of the first real sit-down talks I ever had with Mama concerning a project I’d been working on. I don’t remember everything I said at the time; I just remember getting a little hot under the collar about something that she was considering implementing concerning one of the pubs. I don’t know what was wrong with me that night, but it seemed that everything Mama said, I disagreed with and argued with her about it. I was trying to stay as sweet and humble as possible, but I wasn’t doing a very good job of it. Later, I was feeling very bad about how I had acted, and I apologized to Mama for being so out of it.

Although she had every right to give me a little sermon and reprimand (and believe me, any normal boss would’ve probably given me the boot right then), all she said was, “Oh, please don’t feel bad. I love a good argument!” And that was the last of it. Ha! I learned right then, that although Mama is just human, she understands that we’re just human, too. She’s not afraid of hearing other people’s opinions, and she’s open to what others have to say, just like any good leader would be.

James claims that Mama and Peter are closed-minded, and that they’re determined to have their way no matter what. From my experience, that’s a total falsehood. From what I’ve observed, both of them are extremely open to whatever direction the Lord leads, even if it goes against everything that they’ve been accustomed to doing, and is against their own personal wishes. I’ve been amazed to see how open and yielded Mama herself is to the instructions and counsel given by the Lord through the mouths of others, even when it affects her personally. And the same is true of Peter.

Of course, neither Mama nor Peter are going to be open to doing something that’s obviously not the Lord’s will or good for the Family, or if it’s not in the direction the Lord is leading. But who would want them to be?!

As Mama has often explained in the pubs, she has a number of people whom she calls on and depends on to hear from the Lord about different matters. Every little question that comes up, Mama wants to know what the Lord has to say about it. If there’s a question concerning Mama’s health, or whether she should attend an activity or meeting, Mama will ask someone to pray about it. And she will accept whatever the Lord has to say to her. Here she is, the Endtime prophetess and the top leader of the Family, but she is humble enough to let herself be governed by the prophecies received by Peter and others concerning what she should do and how she should do it.

Those who work around Mama know that she will seldom tell anyone what they should do about something, even if she might have an opinion of what should be done. It’s become completely ingrained in the WS members who are close to her that if you ask Mama what she feels you should do, her reply will be, “Ask the Lord about it.” “Ask the Lord about it.” “Ask the Lord about it.”

If there were a main prerequisite for being a trusted member of WS or Family leadership, it wouldn’t be, “Are you willing to follow blindly Queen Maria and King Peter? Do you practically worship them and hang on every word they say? And are you willing to become a mindless robot and fulfill their every wish?” I dare say that Mama and Peter would probably never even choose to bring someone like that into WS in the first place. Instead, it would doubtless be something like, “Are you here for Jesus most of all? Do you get your instructions from Him, and are you willing to obey what He tells you to do?”

When Dad was around, he was constantly teaching us to keep our antennas pointed upward and to get our instructions from the Lord. Just like the Apostle Paul instructed the Early Church to “Quench not the Spirit,” and to “Despise not prophesying,” Dad always taught that we should be hearing from the Lord daily. Well, it’s finally beginning to sink in. As a Family, we’re learning to hear from the Lord more and more. But some people, like James, prefer not to place so much importance on getting our instructions from On High or using the gift of prophecy to such an extent in leading the Family. James claims that this is debasing prophecy. If you ask me, what he says is weird!-Completely bonkers!

Mama’s whole life and teachings revolve around taking time with the Lord, listening to His whispers and implementing what He says to do. How could that be debasing the gift of prophecy?! For years and years, Mama has been lifting up God’s Words and putting them high upon a pedestal. She loves them and refuses to let a single word from the Lord fall to the ground. It’s incomprehensible that someone could twist things around to such an extent as to call Mama’s profound love for the Lord’s Words “debasing and manipulative.” James is the one who is debasing the gift of prophecy, by ridiculing it and minimizing its importance and veracity.

James’ accusations just don’t make sense! They don’t even jibe! Are Mama and Peter trying to control everything, as he claims? Or are they trying to get people to make their own decisions and go according to their own faith, based on what they hear from the Lord each step of the way? It has to be one or the other; it can’t be both. James accuses Mama and Peter of both of these things at the same time, and yet he doesn’t like either one!

His viewpoints, though put forth in a seemingly logical and well-written manner, are totally ridiculous in my book. They’re written as if they’re coming from someone who is completely secular in his way of thinking-worldly, and not religious. He says that Mama and Peter use prophecy to bully and to indoctrinate, in an attempt to control the Family. Where did he get his ideas?-Straight from the anti-cult books he’s obviously been reading and promoting? The Maria and Peter I know use prophecy to strengthen, inspire, build up and motivate, as the Bible instructs the Lord’s ministers to do in 1Cor.14:3: “He that prophesieth speaketh unto men to edification, and exhortation, and comfort.”

Of course, the Lord also at times calls upon His prophets to use the sword of the Lord, the Word of God, to root out and to cast down imaginations and every high thing that exalts itself against God. But more than anything else, Mama and Peter are truly gentle prophets, loving prophets, who use the Lord’s Words to comfort and to encourage, to bind up the wounded and to heal the brokenhearted.

I’ve been a happy and blessed recipient of a number of prophecies which were received by others upon request from Mama during my time here. Skimming through the directory on my computer, I’d say there have been at least 40 or 50, if not more, due to my frequent health problems. And yet, I have not received from anyone a single prophecy that would come close to being considered manipulative or coercive. Instead, each one has been like water to a thirsty soul, kisses of love from my beloved Husband and Maker, comfort and encouragement when I needed it the most.

Even the prophecies which have contained helpful instruction concerning the difficult choices that I needed to make in regards to my health and medical treatment could never be considered a type of indoctrination, as James calls it. If anything, the prophecies that have been gotten for me have nearly all had one thing in common-they were almost too beautiful to be true. In fact, in all honesty, I’d have to admit that if I’ve been hit with doubts about the veracity of any of the messages, it was because the Lord’s love and mercy toward me, through His Words, were so overwhelming I could hardly believe that they could be true. You see, I have a hard time believing that Jesus could really love me the way He says He does, knowing how bad I am. But the Lord has confirmed over and over that in spite of everything, He still believes in me and sincerely means all of those wonderful and loving things He has said to me through the prophecies that Mama has sent me.

It’s the same with Mama and Peter, themselves. I don’t know how in the world they could have the faith that someone like me could ever be of much use to them. They just have a lot of faith! James says that WS members are viewed as expendables. But that’s not at all how we’re treated. Mama and Peter treat each person with the utmost of respect and understanding. No one is viewed or treated harshly.

From the first time I met them, I’ve never felt anything but total peace, acceptance, and love from them. It’s not that I idolize them or worship them or think that they’re infallible. I just want to make it clear that James’ accusations about how they keep their staff in line with fear tactics is total bunk! I’ve never once felt anything close to fear around them. From the way they’ve treated me, all I’ve felt is that they must see something good in me that no one else has ever seen, and that they have more faith in me than I have in myself. If that’s what you call manipulation and coercion, then by all means, coerce me! Manipulate away! Sock it to me! No-I call it love and faith. I call it wonderful!

A lot of things just depend on the frame of reference. Are you looking at things from a carnal, secular, independent and worldly viewpoint? Or are you looking at things through the spectacles of God’s Word, with a believing and yielded heart? For instance, take what James says about Mama-how she’s a control freak. Ha! Let me tell you about Mama.

I’ve never in my life seen a person who is more capable of being in control-if “control” was what she was after. I know Mama would probably claim to be very incapable, unorganized and a total mess, and maybe she would be if it weren’t for the Lord’s help. But you would never know it by seeing her in action. Mama is the most organized person I’ve ever met. Not only is she organized, but she’s capable of organizing everyone around her, as well. Mama seems to have an almost supernatural gift and ability to be able to handle hundreds of details at a time. I’ve never seen anything like it. I never even imagined that someone could juggle so many things at once. Like Dad always said, Mama can keep a whole army of people busy with projects and ideas and things to pray about and things to do. And she herself can knock off one project after another, all the while, listening to hundreds and hundreds of reports and messages and prophecies and pubs for approval, and still have the time to be concerned about and get involved in the personal problems and trials of every member of the Home. James might look at how Mama is, with his secular, critical glasses on, and call her a control freak. But I call her an incredible shepherdess. Mama knows the state of her flock!

Even with all that she has to take care of and the many problems and burdens that rest on her small shoulders, it’s always surprising how much time Mama will take with each person she talks to. Mama is a hands-on leader. She likes to know what’s happening. If she beeps you about something, you just know that she’s going to end up asking you all kinds of questions and talking about all kinds of things. If you happen to be the first one she’s talked to that day, for instance, she’ll ask how everyone is feeling. She’ll find out what announcements were made at devotions, and who asked for prayer.-And then she’ll spend a few minutes praying for those people. Then she’ll often ask for prayer, too, either for her work or for her health or for Peter. She’ll find out who is out on business, and she’ll pray for them, too. And then, after all that, if nothing else comes up in the course of the conversation, she’ll talk about what she called you for in the first place. Or maybe she wasn’t even meaning to beep you at all; maybe she was trying to find someone else. So then she’ll call them and start all over again, asking questions and praying for those who need prayer, etc. Mama is a shepherdess who wants to know what’s going on and how everyone is doing. She wants to make sure that everything is being taken care of as well as possible.

Mama lays down her life, day and night, night and day, day after day for the Family. I’ve never seen anyone work as tirelessly as she does-and Peter too. Nor have I seen anyone who is as content as they are to simply do their job, without a lot of frills and thrills. (Well, I take that back. There are a few other people around here like that, too. GBT! Where would the Family be without them?)

All Mama needs to keep her happy is the Lord’s Words, so that she can pass them on to those who need them. That’s what she lives for. That’s what she’s lived for, for years and years. Is that weird? Well, it is a little “different.” It’s sure different from the world at large. But is it pernicious? Is it evil?

Mama’s just way too loving for me to think that anyone could consider her pernicious or evil. And the same goes for Peter, as the many hundreds of Family members who have met him can confirm. From what I’ve observed, Mama’s not the kind of person to be extremely emotional about things. Her love is more of a practical kind of love than a gushy one. But I’ve never had a more loving shepherdess anywhere. I’ve never known anyone to show as much concern-real, genuine, sincere, practical, obvious, and followed-up-on concern-as Mama. To me, that’s the kind of love that you can count on. It’s totally absurd to think that Mama or Peter could have ever “arrogantly beat and bullied someone into submission,” as James claims. If I try to picture it in my mind, I can’t even begin to imagine that it could be possible. I’ve never, not once, ever seen a trace of fear from any of the members in this Home regarding Mama or Peter. I can’t even imagine it.

I’m sure that Mama and Peter have made mistakes; they’re only human. But when I think back over my life and the many experiences I’ve had-both good and bad, both before I joined the Family and after-I’ve never lived in a more wonderful situation than now. I’m not saying it’s perfect. It’s not!-Because our Home is made up of people just like you and me. But because of Dad’s continued influence from the spirit world, and because of Mama and Peter’s determination to follow the Lord at all costs, and because of the high level of dedication of everyone here, there is so much more love and unity than in any other situation I’ve ever been in. So, what James said about Mama and Peter, and about bullied WS workers, well, it’s a load of bull!

What James is saying about the Family as a whole is also a big crock of shit! He says that the Family and its doctrines are so weird today, that no one is joining up anymore, and that people are so ashamed and embarrassed about our beliefs that they’re no longer winning new disciples. Ha! If I remember right, the Family was pretty darn weird when I joined it. In fact, when I visited a Family Home for the first time, things seemed so weird to me, I was practically scared to death! I couldn’t get out fast enough. But God wouldn’t let me. He spoke to me so loudly and clearly that I just had to yield and follow the call. It was weird, all right. It was strange and very different from the world that I had come from. It wasn’t like anything I was looking for or had expected to find. But God was in it, and God is still in it today. He’s still leading the Family-further and further away from the world. God is the only One Who wins disciples. And when God thinks it’s time for another great harvest of disciples, I’m sure they’ll start pouring in, just like they did in the beginning of the Family.

I find it totally dumb that James could expect people to believe that as much as he supposedly disagreed with the Family and with Family leadership all that time, he stuck it out anyway for years, hoping to change things. Poor, poor James! I think the real trouble is that James lost touch with the true spirit of the Family years ago.

The Family isn’t perfect. WS isn’t perfect. Mama and Peter aren’t perfect. But I for one am very thankful for that, because if they were, there wouldn’t be much hope for me. James believes that the Family has become irrelevant. But he’s so wrong! The Family today is better than it ever has been, and it’s getting better all the time-doing more, accomplishing more, reaching more, and walking the walk more. I’m so thankful to be a part of it.


I Should Know

By Keana (Techi), 21, Mama’s Home

I’ve lived in WS all of my life, and almost all of that time with Mom and Peter. So I know what it’s like around here, and what it used to be like. Of course it’s changed a lot, just as the Family’s changed a lot from what it used to be. And thank God it has! There were times for everything, and mistakes were made, I’m sure, but I do know that Mom and Peter are in touch with the Lord. They’re desperate to know the answers and do the right thing, and as a result, the Family has progressed and grown and is getting better and better all the time.

What I’m trying to say is, James hasn’t lived with Mom and Peter for a long time, so I don’t think he has any right to bill himself as some sort of expert on what they’re like and what WS is like now. WS as a whole used to have a lot more little rules and regulations that we had to adhere to. I moved from Mom’s Home into the unit where James was living when I was 16. He says she’s a control freak, but in that unit that I moved to, he was in charge of security, and he was one of the most hard-line, heavy-duty rule fanatics I can think of! He would come up with all manner of extreme, unnecessary rules, and then become paranoid if people didn’t follow them exactly. Talk about a control freak! But things are different now. It’s like the day of choices; people are free to choose of their own accord if they want to be here, and as long as we’re trying to make progress and to go forward with the Lord and in the direction He’s leading, there’s a lot of patience for people to progress at their own rate, to get in touch with the Lord themselves and let Him shepherd us.

That’s what I think is funny about saying that she controls people through prophecy. Because most of the emphasis is put on personal use of prophecy and hearing from the Lord-to go to the Lord ourselves and get His direction personally. We have to work it out with the Lord and our faith. If she was so into trying to make the Family do what she wants through printing prophecies in the GNs, I’m sure she wouldn’t be encouraging us all to get our own.

I haven’t been what you would call a spiritual role model. I question things. I have my doubts. I’m not the first to jump into new things with both feet. It usually takes me a while to come around. At times I push the edge of the envelope, trying to get away with whatever I feel like. But I’ve never felt unloved or like they would give up on me. They know that I’m in the Family because I believe the Lord wants me here and I want to do the right thing.

Mom and Peter are the only ones I can think of that I’d want to be running our Family. I’ve been around them enough to know how much they love each one of us, and how our problems become their problems; they’re happy when we’re happy; they’re sad when we’re sad. Their whole lives are lived in service to the Lord and all of us.


They Are the Letters

By Juan, CRO, South America


Dearest Family,

I love you very much and trust that our most loving Jesus is continuing to pour the choicest of His blessings upon you and that His joy is filling your heart to overflowing. Thank you so much for your prayers for me, as well as for the work in South America. I know that your effectual prayers avail much in helping us to accomplish any of the good that gets accomplished-all glory, honor, and credit for the good be given to Jesus!

I am happy to say that our precious Lord continues to do great things for us here in South America, whereof we are all glad. The work continues to grow and many more souls are being won to His wonderful Kingdom of Love. It is very inspiring to see personally, as well as hear testimonies from different brethren as to how receptive people are to our message of salvation, of warning, and of His infinite love. The Family continues to prosper and Jesus continues to supply abundantly for our Homes. It never ceases to amaze me how in a continent that is plagued with economic chaos and instability and where over 70% of the population lives in what is considered poverty level, our Homes have a good standard. Although many of them struggle on a day-to-day basis to be able to make ends meet to live up to our high middle class standard, nevertheless I can surely say that we are very blessed. The verse that comes to me as I write this note is the one David the psalmist prayed, “I’ve been young and now I am old, but I have not seen the righteous forsaken nor his seed begging bread.” Thank the Lord.

I thank the Lord for the heritage of faith that we’ve been blessed to receive from Mama and Peter’s sample of serving the Lord full time and the utter trust that they have in His wonder working Words. I thank the Lord for the sample that I’ve been blessed to “see and hear, receive and learn” from them, as this has helped me to have the most wonderful years of my life. Just the other day after receiving a letter and reading parts of it from someone who has chosen to leave the Family and in which he gives his personal account of the way he sees things, I could not help but think, “Wow, I see things entirely different, as I feel blessed for all that has happened to me, and if I was to go back in time I think I would do things exactly the same way.”

It is amazing how people can see things so differently. I guess that unto those who choose to believe and follow, He allows us to receive His “exceeding great and precious promises: that by these we might be partakers of the Divine nature.” I’m so often reminded of some of the “oldie goldies” from Dad in which he constantly warned us about keeping our eyes upon Jesus and closely following the Word; if not, we would easily be led astray by the lies of the Enemy.

Even now as I write this note, I happen to be looking out my window and see several children playing under the loving supervision of one of the sweet mothers. What a wonderful environment to raise our children in, with such loving people to love and care for them. Amongst the children that are playing are some of my own, and once again I would like to say that if I was able to go back in time-my 25 years of service to the Lord under Dad, Peter and Mama’s loving shepherding-I would do exactly the same. I would forsake all to follow the Words of David that have helped to set me free.

As a matter of fact, the above is not just a statement, but a fact, as I have now started my second family and I’m doing the exact same thing-raising my beautiful children in the best possible environment that I know of and teaching the things that I know will guarantee their future whether they choose to stay as full-time missionaries or choose to pursue other goals in life as some of my older children have chosen to do. Granted, when I say “doing the exact same thing,” I’m not saying that I would not correct some of the mistakes that I’ve made through the years, but what I’m referring to here is passing on to them the heritage of faith that I’ve been blessed to receive through Dad and Mama’s teachings.

It saddens me when people leave the Family to pursue other goals, as I feel that we have the best of all worlds in the Family. But it makes me mad when those who leave try to destroy what many of us believe is our chosen destiny. As I said in the paragraph above, I believe that children that are raised in the Family receive wonderful training that will help them in whatever career they choose to follow. Not only have I seen the fruits of this training work in my own flesh and blood who have departed from our intimate fellowship and are now able to lead what the System would say is a successful career, but I have seen it in many of the young people who through the years I was given the responsibility to shepherd and befriend. And to give credit to whom credit is due, this training comes all from the Word that through the years Dad and Mama so faithfully sent our way.

It’s been 25 years of living for the Lord and 22 years since I first met Dad and Mama-1978 in Nice, France. This happened not long after Faithy and I had made a trip to Libya. Previous to meeting Mama, I had met some of the other shepherds that in all honesty had greatly disappointed me, as their spirit seemed so different to what I would read in the Letters. God bless dear Faithy, who always inspired me to keep hanging in there and to always look to the Letters for my guidance. So when the opportunity arose that I was going to be meeting with Dad and Mama, I must confess that in the back of my head I was entertaining the thought that if they were not like the Letters, then I would just go back to the System.

Upon meeting with dear Dad and sweet Mama, I felt like I had known both of them for many years. The spirit of love that emanated from them brought such wonderful peace to my heart and spirit. They were kind and loving, making sure that I felt at ease and not nervous. We spent several hours together in that first meeting, and during the entire course of our conversation, the Lord, our Family and His sheep were the main topic of our conversation. It was a real experience for me to be able to meet Dad and Mama in person, although once having met them I think I came to understand what Dad meant in “I Gotta Split,” as we all partake of their spirit, the way they truly are, through the Letters.

Then I was blessed to have an extended visit to their Home while in the Philippines. I arrived on Christmas Eve, December 24th, 1984, and stayed till February 23rd. I remember that upon arrival I was taken back by all the love that I felt coming from all the members of their Home. At first I thought that it was all a “show” and that they were trying to impress me. No wonder I had to be talked to about my pride. Ha! But as the days went by and then the weeks, I realized that it was not a show, as I too started to act more loving with others, and in my heart grew this desire to be more like the way Dad and Mama were with us all. It was during this time that Mama and Peter were very much involved in what was to become our first door-to-door tapes. Sweet Dad was also working on an exciting project, the Posters.

Of course, I was super inspired by all that was going on, as there was excitement in the spirit. But what would amaze me the most was that the reason behind all these different projects was the love that Dad and Mama had for souls, and for us, their children. I sat in many a talk in which they would refer to how the different projects would help our Family get their needed support, as well as to make it easier for them to be able to fulfill the commission of reaching the lost for Jesus. I was also surprised at how saving they were with the funds that the Lord supplied. Like I said, they were just like what I read about in the Letters, as I recall seeing Dad asking us to save on the toilet paper by just using the minimum amount needed, or not wasting electricity by making sure that the lights were turned off when leaving the rooms.

It was during this time that I was also blessed to get to know Peter more personally. Although we had met before during my visits to Europe, previous to when he went to live with Dad and Mama, I still hadn’t gotten to know him as well as I did during this time. I guess you could say before we were acquainted with each other, but it was during this time that we established a friendship. And I must say that now that the Lord has chosen him to be my shepherd and given him a position of much greater responsibility as he helps to lead and guide the Family, he remains just the same-friendly, humble, loving and simple.

Through the years I’ve been able to visit the folks’ Home various times, and each visit just helps to confirm that their sample and what is said in the Letters are one and the same. True, as human beings I am sure that they have their share of shortcomings and errors, but their love for the Lord, their love for us, and their desire to see the lost brought into His Kingdom of light is something that never ceases to amaze me, and their sample helps to give me strength for the battle. Even when at times things have been difficult and some of their trusted co-workers decided to go in different ways, I didn’t hear them say anything negative regarding those people. To the contrary, I heard their prayers for them so that in His time they would all return to the fold.

When reading a letter sent to me by someone who has departed from our fellowship, I could not help but feel that I needed to write to tell you, my Family, that having met Dad, Mama and Peter, and knowing their samples, they are still my heroes. And mind you, I am not that easily brainwashed as many would like to accuse me of. Those who know me well know that that would be a very difficult thing to accomplish, as I am pretty hardheaded. It’s just that I’ve learned through my 50 years to admire, respect and work with those whom I consider to be people worth following because I’ve seen their sample. And what I have seen and experienced in Dad and Mama, and now in Mama and Peter, is a sample of love for Jesus, love for His Words, love for His children, and desire to see the lost brought into the Kingdom.

As for me and my house, when reading some of what those who by their own choice decided to go their own way have to say, I think I will follow the example that sweet Dad used to give in the anecdote about the old grandmother. When she was confronted by her young grandson who had just graduated from college about the existence of the Almighty, all she said was, “All I know is that I speak to Him every day and He answers me.” I feel the same way. I am not that well versed in my Scriptures, and honestly I think I should do much better in that particular area, but being as practical minded as I am, I am more the type of person that if it works, it works. I believe in the new weapons because they work for me. I try them and God answers. So I have no need to look for the doctrinal background or get into theological studies. After all, God did say that His wisdom was way above mine, so how could I ever attempt to understand what He’s trying to do? For me, if it works, it works! So consequently it must be true. How do I know that Mama and Peter are God’s chosen vessels to lead the Family into what I believe are the last days of this present System? Because I follow the Words that they so faithfully send our way and I see them work.

I love you and thank the Lord for the blessing of being a part of the Family and under Mama and Peter’s loving shepherding. “The Lord bless thee, and keep thee; the Lord make His face to shine upon thee, and be gracious unto thee. The Lord lift up His countenance upon thee, and give thee peace.”


A Heart of Compassion

By Ivy, Mama’s Home

My name is Ivy. I’m an FGA, and I’ve lived and worked with Mama and Peter for the past seven years. I haven’t always lived in the same house as them, but for the most part, I have. During the last four years I’ve had the privilege of working closely with Mama as one of her personal secretaries.

Because of the nature of my ministry, I’ve had to be privy to confidential Family matters having to do with people’s lives, leadership, problems in the Family, etc. I know it’s a serious responsibility and I take it very seriously. At times I’ve been privy to the counsel that Mama and Peter give our leadership about problem situations, or the prayers they pray concerning our Family and its missionaries on the field and our leaders. Basically, you could say that I’ve often been “in the know” about Mama and Peter’s feelings and reactions to situations and people, their prayers and the counsel they’ve offered.

If there’s one thing that has never failed to impress me about Mama and Peter, it’s that they’re not critical, they’re not self-righteous, and they’re not quick to judge or condemn people. When I first became Mama’s secretary and knew about a certain problem situation, my inner reaction at the time was a little along the lines of, “Wow, those guys are kind of out of it.” I don’t remember the exact situation or people involved, but I do remember my attitude was more or less that Mama would probably say something corrective about their attitude, or that her words would be something along the lines of, “Boy, our Family people!” That may be what I would have thought or said, but not Mama!

Instead, Mama never stopped talking about how much the Lord loved them. No matter what battles and obstacles they were facing, no matter what problems they were having, the first thing she had to say about the situation was how much Jesus loved them. I can honestly say that in my four years of being one of Mama’s secretaries, I’ve never heard her belittle or berate people, look down on them, criticize people, or act like she was upset with people. Well, one time I remember she was a little “heated” in the way she talked about a situation that she had to explain to me, but then afterward she apologized for presenting it that way.

I don’t know about you, but I’ve been working almost my entire Family life of 25 years on being more loving, patient, understanding, merciful, and all those wonderful qualities that we all want, and that I see in Mama and Peter. I haven’t worked under another shepherd that comes anywhere near Mama’s love for people. She has a real gift of God’s love and faith in people. When I first came to Mama’s staff I worked in the kitchen for several years, but one day they needed another secretary and Mama had the faith that I could do it. I think everyone was surprised that I could do it, especially me!

I understand that when some people leave the Family and the Lord’s full-time service, they battle bitterness, and for some people extreme bitterness, but all I can say to our detractors who would like to paint a picture of Mama or Peter as terrible tyrants who are in it for their own gain is that they’re wrong. I personally believe that our bitter detractors, like James Penn, are just living proof that these are the Last Days and the love of many is waxing cold, and some are being given over to strong delusion.

I’ve transcribed hundreds of personal tapes from Mama involving either her work on the Lord’s Words, her counsel to Family people, her counsel to her personal staff and WS shepherds, her prayers and heart cry to the Lord, and I can assure everyone that Mama has a heart of love and she’s in it for the Lord.

One other situation that comes to mind was concerning the possibility of inviting a woman to join our Home, but because Mama knew this woman was in love with a man in another WS unit, she was very considerate that the woman not feel obligated or pressured to do something that she wouldn’t be happy with or have the faith for. Mama made it clear that it was completely up to the woman, that she [Mama] didn’t want her to join our Home if she [the woman] felt it would be too difficult for her to be separated from the man she loved. In this particular case, the woman chose not to join Mama’s Home at that time. This is just one of many, many examples that have impressed me over the years, where Mama and Peter have been genuinely concerned about people’s feelings.

We might tend to think that people should just endure hardness as a soldier and “just do it for the work’s sake,” and sometimes that might need to be the case, but I’ve seen Mama sacrifice the work in favor of people’s feelings and happiness. They really are considerate of people’s feelings and needs and will do their best to accommodate people, even to the sacrifice of the work.

I’m proud to be in the Family. I’m proud of the things we stand for and that I’ve had the privilege of serving the Lord in the Family for the past 25 years. There isn’t anything about our standard or beliefs that I think is “weird” or that I don’t agree with or want to try to live. I’ve had lots of battles and trials, and some very intense ones over the past year, but I know without a shadow of a doubt what the Lord’s calling is for me-to serve Him full-time in the Family.

I plan to stay in the Family. I don’t have a problem with people who feel called to do something else, but I don’t think it’s right for former members to slander the Family or Mama and Peter. I think they need some serious help to get rid of their bitterness. Our detractors probably won’t believe this, but I’d like to put it here for the record anyway-I’ve never heard Mama and Peter speak badly of you. They actually pray for you.

For some reason, some of our detractors seem to think we’re forced to be in WS, but I’ve personally never felt forced to remain in WS or in Mama’s Home. When the GPU was opening up a few years ago, Mama asked me to pray and see if the Lord wanted me to join their team because she knew they would need more staff and helpers. She said she didn’t really want me to go and she was hoping the Lord would want me to stay in her Home and continue my ministry, but that she wanted me to be open to the Lord’s will. She told me she wanted to be open to the Lord and whatever He wanted, even though she’d prefer me to stay. I’ve seen her have this same attitude over and over of wanting to be open to the Lord’s will, in spite of what she preferred. She really does want what the Lord wants.

When she explains something to me that she wants me to hear from the Lord about, she’ll often remind me with something like, “Now, Ivy, you need to be sure you’re open to the Lord, and even though I’ve explained my thoughts, maybe the Lord wants something different. So really pray to be open to whatever He wants. We just want to know His mind and be open to the way He wants it done.”

I can testify to what Dad taught us about people-by their fruits you shall know them-and in my seven years of living and working with the folks, I’ve never seen the type of things our detractors accuse them of. They really are like the Letters portray them, and I have no doubt that if you were to visit Mama’s Home, that’s the way you’d find them too.

They’re here to serve you, the Family, and that’s what they do day and night, with a lot of love and prayer and faith in us all. I’ve never met people in my entire life as honest, sincere and dedicated as Mama and Peter.


My Impressions of Mama and Peter

By Carmen, 27, CRO, Brazil

Because of what seems to be a recent wave of negative “publicity” about Mama and Peter, I want to relate my personal, firsthand experiences meeting and knowing them. These are totally contrary to many of the things that have been circulating as of late regarding their character-some of which come out to be quite ugly accusations and bear no semblance of truth to me. Quite frankly, such stories about Mama and Peter don’t hold water, in my opinion, because I know them and have a totally different point of view.

Lest anyone be mistaken and think that I’m one of Mama and Peter’s little puppets or brainwashed little robots, I’d like to set the record straight. I am a Family member of my own free will. I may be young. I may be inexperienced. I know that there is so much ahead of me-wisdom to gain, lessons to be learned, experiences to be had, and life to be lived. In spite of my youth and inexperience, or what to some may seem just plain naivety, I am also a mother, and before I think of myself, I think of my children.

I no longer live a “footloose and fancy- free” life. I have four little ones to think about, and their future is more important to me than my own. I love my kids more than anything in this world. They are the Lord’s most precious gift to me and I will give anything, do anything, be anything to help them along the road of life and help them reach and fulfill their destiny. I love the Lord, I want to serve Him, but I realize that I have a responsibility to my children and that the choices I make affect them and their future. This is constantly before me and causes me to be desperate with the Lord every day.

It’s nearly insulting to me that someone would think I can’t make my own choices, that I don’t have a mind of my own, or that I would let someone(s) impose their theologies upon me, leading me to do things that go against my principles. Ridiculous!

Why is it that only those who leave the Family are thought to have a mind of their own? Why can’t those of us who choose to be in the Family, who choose to dedicate our lives to serve the Lord and others be thought of as responsible, objective, idealistic maybe, but still sincere, and as having free will and a mind of our own? Obviously, those who left were free to think for themselves, otherwise why aren’t they still “cooped up” in the Family? They were obviously free to choose as we are, as I am. It’s absurd to think that my choice to stay in the Family should reflect some sort of weakness on my part, or that it should indicate that I have a weak mind that can’t think for itself and is influenced by all our doctrine. If I am influenced by our doctrine it’s because I choose to be. I am free to choose what I want to believe. So far my place is in the Family.

Having said the above, I hope to dispel any mistaken idea that what I have to say about Mama and Peter or my impression of them is totally colored by “the brain cloud” that us “poor young victims” aren’t free to think for ourselves. We are free! I thank God for it! What I feel about Mama and Peter is my opinion. Others may feel differently, but we’re all entitled to freedom of speech and belief. Below is my very frank assessment, impression, and experience, having met Mama and Peter personally.

My hope is that it will be clear that not everyone that knows them has bad things to say about them. That those who have been affected by the opinions of detractors will see that there is a wide range of reactions, opinions, feelings, thoughts, and positions concerning Mama and Peter’s character, and it would be simply unwise to make decisions for or against them based on one negative letter or report. We all know the way of rumors. We’ve all had gossip get back to us about ourselves, and it’s usually pretty distorted truth. Sad. We’ve all been hurt by that and wished so hard that we could explain things as they were from our point of view and somehow undo the damage caused by such ugly stories being spread about us. To believe or accept any one person’s story without weighing everything in the balance and getting a well-rounded picture would be, in my opinion, unintelligent.

OK, enough of that. (Sorry, I just can’t help but feel slightly offended by those who pity me or feel I can’t stand on my own two feet just because I happen to like the Family, and have had good experiences with Mama and Peter.)

* * *

The first time I met Peter, I have to confess that I was surprised at just how normal he was. I expected more of a “king.” Not that he isn’t one in his special way, but when I thought of “king,” I thought of strong, overbearing, pompous, maybe even arrogant, domineering, or bossy. It sounds kind of silly putting it on paper like this. Peter was totally opposite to the picture of “king” that I had in my mind before I met him. I know now, not only from our first meeting, but from getting to know him more personally, that he’s anything but arrogant, domineering or bossy. He’s a totally normal guy! He’s tons of fun! He’s really very sweet and makes you feel like you’re important (definitely a must for anyone who wants to be truly great)! And I’ll tell you what the best part about him is-he’s sincere. I have felt that Peter truly admires and loves each Family member. His heart is broken for those of us who struggle with any burden or worry. His driving passion is to reach the world with the Gospel and to help Family members in any way possible to achieve that goal.

Once when Peter was visiting the Family in our area, Mama kept trying to make sure that he would get the rest he needed. Meeting so many people all at once is overwhelming for anyone, and I’m sure even as Jesus experienced, it can be tiring to pour out so much love or “virtue” all at once. So Mama was concerned that Peter pace himself and not overdo, especially because of his weakened heart. I was totally touched to see Peter’s reaction in which he almost argued with Mama that he couldn’t help but want to meet each and every Family member he could. He went on and on about how each one is so sweet, so precious, how each one was so unique and special and he didn’t want to miss the privilege of meeting them himself. These are the people that he lays down his life for, the ones he spends every moment trying to help, support, encourage, be of assistance to, etc. That really stuck with me, and it’s been reinforced every time I see him.

As far as Mama and Peter being open to ideas, my experience is that they are very open to change, to new ideas, to wanting to constantly improve and make things better for us. Peter is also open to all of the above in regards to our opinions about WS. I’m not saying that he loves to hear complaints, or that he enjoys hearing things that we feel should be changed. I’m sure he’s sensitive about certain things (remember, I said he was a normal guy?), but he’s not afraid to hear about it, he’s not afraid to face those things and do his part to make things better. I take my hat off to anyone who can do that, wouldn’t you? I often wish I could accept “constructive criticism” more graciously, and I have to say that Peter is a sample of not only accepting it, but even encouraging us to feel free to give it.

I’m happy with how what I express to Mama or Peter actually means something to them. I’m sure I’ve written them a lot of stupid things and that I’ve made some pretty off-the-wall comments, but I’ve never felt that they thought that about what I’ve written or said. In fact, I’ve been surprised at how they respond to things that I bring up to them. I’ve had questions about things written in the GNs, about certain ways of presenting things, etc., and you know what-something was done about it! I was almost scared, like, “Whoa! I’d better make sure I’m really saying what I mean to say!” I know for a fact that all of my comments are brought before the Lord, and Mama and Peter do pray about it, but it’s really neat to feel like you can make a difference in your “government,” that your voice is heard and heeded. That means a lot to me. I also know that there are many other young people-in fact, I think we all have that same freedom to speak up about things, and we also can have confidence that Mama and Peter take our opinions seriously and consider them important.

Mama and Peter feel that Family young people are important. Our happiness is a priority to them. I’m impressed with the importance that they place on what we need and what we have to say. Some probably think, “Yeah! Of course they do! It makes’m look bad that we all want to leave!”



1. We don’t all want to leave! There are many young people in the Family who are perfectly happy! H-A-P-P-Y! Very, very happy! We’re fulfilled; we’re inspired; we have so much to look forward to and be excited about! We see the Lord moving and working! We see the effect we’re having on the world through each little life we help to change, through each heart that we bring Jesus to! It’s not that we don’t have rough times. But from very dear personal friends who have left the Family, I’ve learned that anywhere you go you will face struggles and hardships. That’s a good reason for me not to trade what makes me feel so happy and fulfilled, and helps others find lasting happiness, for a different set of difficulties, along with lonely emptiness.

2. Mama and Peter aren’t all that concerned with “looking good” themselves. What they want is for us to feel that we look good! They want us to feel proud of what we choose to be, and if there is anything that they can change within the Family, if there is any improvement they can make for us so that we’ll be happier, then that’s what they consider important. Our happiness as the younger generation is important to them. Not so they can “keep us,” but so that the destiny of the Family can be carried out as the Lord intended. Obviously the Lord intended that there be a second and now even third generation within the Family, as otherwise He could have come 20 years ago before we were born. He didn’t, so obviously we’re supposed to be here and we’re part of His plan. Mama and Peter realize that we are an important, in fact, a major part of the Lord’s plan for the Family. Their desperation to change things for us and improve the Family for us reflects their fear of the Lord in wanting to make sure that the Family carries out what the Lord intended it to and that we don’t miss the mark as far as what we’re meant to be. I think such open-mindedness, fear of the Lord, sincere concern and action certainly calls for respect and admiration. This desire and concern on their part for my happiness, well-being and fulfillment wins my respect for them. It’s more than I can say for other societies who don’t seem to give a damn about their youth. (At least that’s how their youth feel!)


I think it’s so cool to be part of something different from the norm, even if it is a little odd! Like going down in history as being part of some really far-out rock group or some famous expedition or discovery, or something neat like that. Only the best part is that we’re not “going down” in history, we are MAKING HISTORY! Even if nothing ever happened (unrealistic proposal, as the Family has already “made news” in history and changed millions of lives forever), it’s still more exciting and more of a thrill to live your life with purpose, believing in something, rather than living the daily monotony without any goal or purpose. To me that’s not really a life!

* * *

It’s funny to me to think back before I met Mama and Peter. I had this feeling like, “When I meet them I’m going to have to be on my very best spiritual behavior. I’d better make sure that my sword is sharpened, my prophecy skills are honed and that I’m … (long list of things to make sure I would do when with them). The strangest thing happened. As soon as I met Mama I had this overwhelming feeling that all of that (all the stuff I was hoping really hard I’d be able to do to make a good impression) didn’t matter to her!

Now let me explain that. Of course Mama believes in all of the above and believes that it’s the best thing for me too, but it was an amazing revelation to see that my sword being sharp is between the Lord and me. My practicing the gift of prophecy is between the Lord and me. My using the new weapons is between the Lord and me. The last thing I felt was that she was watching to see how I was doing. (Maybe she was and I just don’t know it, ha! But in that case, she wasn’t too hard on me ‘cause I still am not “skilled” in the spiritual weapons and she didn’t mention anything about it.) I didn’t feel any pressure to perform. I didn’t feel “out of it” or really “unspiritual” or like she was constantly harping on those issues.

If I could put one thing across to you, it’s this: What Mama writes and publishes in the GNs, she does with the most sincere intentions of following the Lord, believing what He says, believing that it will make your life better in some way. It was so amazing to feel how strongly it all came back to “It’s between me and You, Jesus!” I don’t think it mattered all that much to Mama how much I did or didn’t prophesy, as long as I was trying to move ahead at my pace, for my own sake, so that through my following the tips the Lord gave I could receive His many rich and full blessings.

On our first little meeting with Mama and Peter, we talked about a variety of subjects, and changed the subject several times before Mama perked up with, “Oh! Maybe we should acknowledge the Lord before we change to our next subject. You poor guys! How can we expect you to make this a habit if we’re not going to be a sample of it ourselves! I forgot! I’m sorry! Jesus, precious Love, thank You for Your patience with us….” I was shocked at how very sincere Mama is. She was “working on” the same things I was trying to do and improve in my walk with the Lord.

What she puts in the GNs is what the Lord gives and what she is striving to live. If I could describe Mama in one word (which is impossible), I’d say she’s genuine! She’s genuinely loving. She’s genuinely sincere in her love for the Lord and wanting to please Him. She’s genuine in her praise or compliments. She’s genuine in her correction. She’s not trying to make any sort of impression or trying to have any sort of front. She’s totally free to be herself, and she makes you free to feel the same. She made me feel like I didn’t have to “be on my best behavior,” almost as if she didn’t even care, because she trusts that I love the Lord, and that’s most important. She made me feel that I could be the way I am. In fact, she made me feel encouraged! I didn’t feel like I had to watch my words and measure everything just right. I didn’t feel strange at all. She’s been like that every time I’ve seen her. She’s natural and makes me feel natural too. There’s no big pressure in any way.

It’s not like Mama and Peter expect this incredible amount of respect. I respect them as I respect others, like Juan, or my parents, and many others that have lived the life of faith. I just can’t picture them being the way some people make them out to be. They just aren’t like that. They are loving-very loving in the way of being considerate, concerned, affectionate, thoughtful, etc.

One night I was having a conversation with someone and Mama was in the next room. She came through the room we were sitting in on her way to a meeting. She heard that I wasn’t feeling well (being 3 months PG), so she took several minutes to get me tissues, water, pillows, put on some music, get me a bucket (in case I got sick again), etc., etc. It was so cute! I kept telling her that I was fine and trying to thank her, but she kept doing all these little things like they were the most natural thing for her and she wouldn’t think of walking by without making sure I had everything that I needed. That really touched me, mainly because, as I said before, she’s so genuine. She had nothing to gain from me for doing that. She wasn’t trying to impress me either, because she’s like that with everyone. She’s just loving and concerned about others and that comes natural to her. Insincerity is so easily recognized, and I have yet to see any of that in either Mama or Peter.

Okay, let’s say that Mama and Peter did just put on a show for me. How then should I explain all those who live in their Home who are remarkably concerned, loving, kind, considerate, and thoughtful too? I can only guess that they have learned to be that way from Mama and Peter’s treatment of them and their day-to-day sample and interaction with them, which I saw throughout the whole time I was there. The people I met there are so sweet! They are so normal too, and they know how to have fun-and I mean a real good time! They work hard, pray like everything depended on it (mostly for requests from the Family on the field), treat each other so sweetly and respectfully, show appreciation. They are neither lofty (all those important secretaries and pubs people getting their hands dirty scrubbing pots and pans, mopping floors, etc.) nor are they condescending in any way. I felt like they were so happy to have us there and sad when we left. They’re all such humble people and they show it through loving behavior, even amongst themselves. So either everyone put on a long show for us (sounds pretty corny!) or that’s the way they are. If WS is “weird,” well, I wouldn’t mind having a little more of that “weirdness” in my life and Home.

I didn’t see anything weird, and believe me, I was looking! I think we all secretly wonder what it’s “really like” in WS. Well, from what I’ve seen, I can only say I admire people who are willing to work that hard to put out so much for the Family. I felt small compared to them, because I get the blessing of being out here where I can see the fruit of what they labor for day and night. I get to save souls, witness freely in the name of the Family, see the teens all flip out over the pubs. I see the GNs that bring timely counsel to needy situations and encouragement that helps save someone’s service for the Lord. It’s a reward to see so much fruit, and it greatly strengthens my faith.

These people are so sweet, they plug along day after day doing whatever it is they do to help get out the pubs, and they’re so cheerful about it. Each person is a unique (very unique) individual with personality traits, little quirks, peculiarities, strengths, talents and gifts, which makes each one special. Some are serious, some are funny, some are hilarious, but all are precious, loving, and kind. And I also noticed that they were happy to be where they are. Come to think of it, there are several people that I knew and lived with prior to their joining WS, and they are still the dear, sweet people I’ve always known. They didn’t get weird, nor were beaten into submission or “yieldedness” out of fear of Mama and Peter. From what I noticed, they all have a very friendly and sweet relationship with the Folks. I would have been concerned for my friends if I would have seen them carry a broken spirit or be dying inside from coercion or fear. I also know that my friends are there of their own free will.

I can’t even believe that someone would buy the line that people in WS are bullied into submission, held against their will through fear, or have to “buckle under or else.” It’s absurd. There are a lot of young people in WS. If WS has discovered a secret weapon of how to get so many diverse and strong-willed young people to comply with “rules” and do things against their will-let’s just say that there are millions who couldn’t pay a sum large enough for such a secret or key to help them get their kids or youth to submit, comply, conform, abide by, and obey someone or something they didn’t want to! No, there is no such secret weapon, because those who are in WS want to be there. They must be happy and feel fulfilled! Why not? I thought it was a pretty cool place myself, mostly because of the great people that are there and the Lord’s loving Spirit which they carry.

During a time I spent alone with Mama, I was so thankful and relieved to be able to unburden my heart about the difficulties I had experienced over the last several years. Besides some very personal trials, I expressed how tough it had been for me having a very demanding ministry, moving around constantly, not having a “home,” and being pregnant or nursing all the time. I was having a hard time finding the balance between being a mother and keeping up with my ministry and work. (I’m sure every mom faces this every time a new little one comes along.)

I was expressing that I was afraid to keep having so many kids so close together, that I wouldn’t be able to train them properly, etc. In the back of my mind I was sort of expecting Mama to give me a good faith-building speech about “trusting the Lord” and continuing to “Go for the Gold.” Mama was very understanding and sympathetic while taking in the big picture of what I was going through. One thing she said really surprised me, though, specifically about the “having lots of kids” issue. She didn’t give me a big speech about anything. She didn’t for one moment make me feel condemned about anything. She didn’t really even say all that much other than to encourage me that she understood the magnitude of the responsibility I felt. In fact, she even burst into tears at one point, which I felt bad about, but which seemed to wash away my hurt somehow. She prayed and asked the Lord for His strength for me, for His grace, and she committed all my cares to the Lord.

Afterwards in casual conversation she said, “You know, you can ask the Lord for some time before your next baby. You can tell Him how you feel and what you have the faith for and ask Him for a longer stretch between pregnancies.” That totally surprised me. I’m not saying that Mama is advocating “prayer against pregnancy,” but the point here was that no matter what the “prophecy” said, Mama was telling me that I had to have the faith for what I do. That’s what it all boiled down to once again; this was between the Lord and me. She didn’t start trying to bully me into doing the “right thing” according to prophecy and push me to have faith for something.

I felt totally in control of my decisions and will at that moment. I had all the power of majesty of choice and in no way was Mama trying to push me one way or the other. She simply offered a way that I could come to grips with my faith and make sound decisions accordingly. Her whole sample and way of being is like that. I’ve never once felt from her that she used prophecy to make me do something I didn’t want to, or even do anything at all. I don’t know how things can get so twisted to where someone could say that the folks use prophecy to force people to do things. She has encouraged me to ask the Lord about questions that I have or about things that I wanted to do, etc. I think that’s a good thing, because every time I’ve been so thankful for what I received from the Lord.

One thing I’ve learned is that no matter who gets a prophecy for me, I have all the freedom I want and I need to hear from the Lord myself and make sure that that’s what He’s telling me before I make any decision. I not only have that freedom, but actually that responsibility. When it comes to the big and important things, it’s crazy to go ahead and do or not do something without hearing from the Lord about it yourself first, or only going on a prophecy someone else gets for you.

To me, the whole point of prophecy is for my benefit. It’s so that I can have something from the Lord to lead me the way He wants me to go, and then have something to refer to for strength when things get tough or my faith falters. God forbid that I should have to look back on a decision I made, whether or not it was based on prophecy, and have to come to the realization that I didn’t seek God myself and went blindly by what someone else got from the Lord for me without having the faith for it. I’m happy and thankful for those who hear from the Lord for me. It’s strengthening, but I can’t “blame” them, or prophecy, or Mama and Peter who emphasize prophecy, for things that go wrong. That’s getting a little too childish.

It’s not like I don’t have questions about prophecy, even doubts sometimes. It’s not like every prophecy that is pubbed is oh so totally easy for me to accept. I tend to wonder who the channel is, what they knew about the subject beforehand, how they got those specific details, and sometimes I just plain have a hard time accepting things. But just as I have to honestly face the fact that I question and doubt prophecy at times, I have to be just as honest with myself that what I have tried has proven to work for me! It’s like Dad’s old Letter about electricity. I may not understand it or know all there is to know about it, but I’m sure as Heaven glad that I can use it, because it works.

That’s what I’ve found out about the new weapons and prophecy. They work for me! They make my life soooo much easier. I don’t understand it, I don’t know how that is, but it’s a fact. IT WORKS! So that gives me faith that no matter what may seem “far out” to me, all I have to do is give it a try! If it works, great! I haven’t lost anything; in fact, I’ve gained. But what if I don’t try and miss out on the benefits? Then I’ve lost something. It’s not like I’m a super spiritually minded person and love only the purely spiritual. It doesn’t come so totally natural to me to accept and believe everything I read in the Word. I like to prove it first! Maybe that’s not so good and I should be willing to accept it all totally by faith. But even the Lord has said that we can “prove” Him. The times I have, He hasn’t failed. In fact, it’s only made me more convinced that we indeed have a priceless treasure that the whole world can benefit from, and will someday. “O taste [or try] and see that the Lord is good! Blessed is the man that trusteth in Him.”

Though it took getting used to the amount of prophecy that we have and use nowadays, it shouldn’t really be a surprise to us that the Lord is leading this way. I was pondering the verse, “It shall come to pass in the Last Days, saith God, I will pour out of My Spirit upon all flesh.” That got me thinking. Pouring out His Spirit upon all flesh-that’s a lot of Spirit being poured out! “Your sons and your daughters shall prophesy, your young men shall see visions, and your old men shall dream dreams.” Why am I surprised at the sudden increase in “Spirit,” “prophecy,” “dreams and visions”? It’s one more sign that we’re living in the Last Days. Of course, if you refuse to face that fact, then I can see why it might be hard to accept that the Lord is pouring out His Spirit in such great measure, but it doesn’t change the fact that He is.

I can’t say whether all the accusations brought against Mama and Peter are true or false. I can only tell you what I have experienced. I can tell you that my whole life in the Family has been a wonderful experience. I have parents who love the Lord dearly and have served Him since before I was born. They have proven over and over to me that the life of faith is a life of joy, blessings, and fulfillment. They have never lost by giving to others, or giving of themselves to the Lord. They have been through the good and the bad in the Family and they are thankful for the Words of life. I’ve come to treasure the heritage of faith that they’ve given me, which they received from Dad.

I’ve come to realize the Word we have in the Family is where it’s at for me. It gives me peace and faith. It gives me answers to the questions I have. It opens up doors to other realms that help me see things in a clear and positive light. It feeds my spirit and satisfies my hunger, quenches my thirst. I’ve met so many who search for that and haven’t found it anywhere else. If I have found what satisfies me, then I don’t need to “search.” I want the Word-it’s the “joy and rejoicing of my heart.” I’ve found what I’m looking for, the lamp that lights my path.

One reason that I accept our doctrines is that they are all based on Scripture. The Family was born and continues to live, based on the Bible. That’s the Word for me, and as long as we can stand on Scripture, we’re building our work on safe and solid ground.

I also love that verse, “If this counsel [or doctrine] or this work be of men, it will come to naught. [You might as well not waste your time and effort trying to “ruin” us.] But if it be of God, no man can stand against it, lest haply ye be found to fight against God.” So to those who don’t like Mama and Peter, don’t worry. If this work isn’t really God’s work, it’ll fade out, and we’ll all see we were wrong. I’ll gladly eat humble pie if that day ever comes. In the meantime, I know I’m not hurting anyone and I’m helping to make the world a better place. I’m thankful for how Mama and Peter have helped me personally, as well as how they strive continually to help the Family reach more lost, spread more Gospel, and be closer to Jesus.

Mama and Peter, keep up the good work! I’ve seen God’s anointing of love, meekness, and conviction in you. I’ve seen your broken heart for lost souls. I’ve seen your concern and interest in each precious Family member. I’ve seen your desperation with the Lord, your humility in confessing you don’t know what to do and you’re just following Jesus. I’ve experienced your sample of depending on the Lord, and you’re leading us to do the same. I’ve seen you broken and weak and felt the Lord in you strongly. I feel thankful, privileged, and happy to serve the Lord with you and alongside you. I pray that I’ll be faithful to this calling, which I’m certain is God’s will and His call for my life, all the days of my life.

I don’t know if everything that people say about you is true or not. I don’t know if the “stories” about WS are true or not. What I do know is that it’s not true of you today, it’s not true of WS today, and that’s what’s important. I’m sure we all have our share of mistakes, embarrassing moments, etc., that we’ve learned from. Wouldn’t it be great if we could put our past through Microsoft Word so that we could rearrange things, cut, delete, copy, paste, align, etc. There’s not a person in the world who wouldn’t do things differently if they could do them over. But the important thing is what we are today, what we’re striving for today, what we’re making of ourselves and others today.

I think the Family has a wonderful today and an even more glorious tomorrow to look forward to. And even our past and our yesterday have served us well. We’ve dealt with things a lot more objectively than many governments deal with their past or problems. I’m proud of our nation because it’s made up of individuals who love the Lord more than anything else and are doing their best to spread the light and love of God’s truth to a spiritually starving and love-famished world, in spite of the fact that we’re all imperfect human beings.

That reminds me! One day I went for a walk with Mama and she went through a good deal of “trouble” to make sure that we had sufficient tracts with us on our get-out walk. And she was faithful to get them out too. I love that about her! She believes what she preaches and lives it too.

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