FSM 355

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OUR side: In Defense of our Faith, Family, and Lifestyle, Part 4

FSM 355 CM/FM 09/00

I Trust Them With My Life

By Abner, CRO, USA

“Who on this freakin’ Earth is calling me at 10 a.m. on a Sunday

morning?” I muttered as I stumbled out of bed to answer the phone. It was

September 1979. I was working fulltime in my hometown in the US to pay off debts

and raise my fare to go to the field. I wasn’t in the best of spiritual health

(we’ll leave it at that, shall we?).

Me: “Yeah, who’zit?” (Most of my calls at the time were from friends

who would understand my grizzly nature, considering the time of day and my

current lifestyle.)

Peter: “Hi, Tom! (My name at the time.) This is Peter Amsterdam

calling from Switzerland.” (Pleasant voice, especially considering the


Me: “Oh, uh, hi…uh…how are you?” (When people are nice to you, you

tend to try to be nice back. This was about the best I could muster, but at

least it was an improvement.)

Peter: “Great! It’s real nice here today. Abi and I were just out this

afternoon, and I thought I’d call you to let you know that you’re welcome to

come and join the Home here in Zurich if you’d still like. We’d be happy to have

you.” (I’d answered a WS want ad some weeks before, and they were looking for a


Me: “Hey, great. Wow. Thanks.” (Repentance starts setting in.)

Peter: “Well, do you want to go ahead and book your ticket and just

let us know? The sooner the better. We could really use your help.” (Things are

looking up, somebody even needs me. …)

Me: “Sure. I’ll do that.”

Peter: “We’re looking forward to meeting you. Dad and Mama said to

send you their love, too.”

Me: “Hey, thanks. God bless them!” (That wasn’t exactly happening to

me every Sunday.)

Peter: “Okay, well, I’d love to chat more, but since it’s long

distance I guess that’ll have to wait until you get here.”

Me: “Okay, thanks, I’ll let you know my flight as soon as I book it.”

Peter: “Thanks, Tom. God bless and keep you. Sure love you.”

Me: “Yeah, right, uh … yeah, love you too…” (I was a bit rusty on some

of the love stuff. See first paragraph.)

With that began my personal relationship with Peter. I traveled to

Switzerland where Peter and Abi picked me up at the airport. I was coming out of

a fairly backslidden state. My goals were still intact as far as my desire to

serve the Lord and reach others with His love, but my standard was, well, sort

of “fluid.” I was very Americanized. From the beginning, Mama and Peter have

never judged me for my weaknesses but have consistently looked beyond that to

bring out the good that lies underneath some of that corrupt exterior we all


I went on to help at the WIMM (World Wide International Mail Ministry)

as a handyman-at least until I broke more things than I fixed, and so eventually

worked more and more on office work where I was less of a wreck. Peter was

actually only visiting when I landed in Switzerland, as he had been asked to

work more with Dad and Mama, who were in France at the time, and they very much

needed his help. This wasn’t an easy thing for him, as it required him being

away from Abi and his kids. I eventually got mated to Abi and helped raise the

kids, while Peter willingly sacrificed his time with them to do the work the

Lord was calling him to do. Difficult decisions-but that’s Peter!

I later learned from Mama that it was out of her concern for Abi and

her needs that she was led to ask for me to go to the WIMM, as she had the

intuition that I would be a help to Abi.-And that’s Mama! From my experience,

Mama puts the work first and she helps us in our service for the Lord to put Him

first as well, but she is always concerned about our specific needs and what

we’re going through, and desiring to do all she can to meet those needs. (Later,

during a time when I was separated from Abi, I lived and worked with another

precious leader, Robin, with whom I have great kids and who are all part of my


So from the very beginning of our relationship, I saw the stuff that

Peter was made of, and he’s been a tremendous encouragement to me. Over the

years since 1979, I’ve worked in various WS units, some closer to the field,

some more behind the scenes. Sometimes we worked near the Folks; other times we

were in another field. Through the years, Mama and Peter have shepherded me

through some real highs and some real, real lows. They’ve seen the best of me

and the worst of me (so far, anyway). They commended me when I was doing well,

and they’ve helped me when I wasn’t.

Sometimes that help was in the form of correction, and I have to say

that I received the stiffest correction I ever got from Peter. As far as I could

tell, I don’t think there were any holds barred on that one, ha! But without a

shadow of doubt, those words were definitely the “wounds of a friend,” given at

great personal effort. And it was given at a time when he and Mama knew that

without the help, I was about to lose my spiritual orbit and go off into space,

never to be heard of again. I needed help at that time and I needed correction.

And Mama and Peter have always had the faith to give me what I needed. That’s

not easy. It takes a lot of love. Anyone who is a shepherd knows that.

Some months later I got a little note from Mama. It’s in a tiny red

envelope that I still carry in my wallet 15 years later. The cover says, “I

thank God in all my remembrance of you. Philippians 1:3” And inside Mama wrote,

“Dear Tom (big red heart), I love you! Thank you for your love, your faith, your

dedication! I admire you for taking the ‘low seat’ and for your yieldedness and

willingness to receive correction and your fight to get needed personal

victories! You’re precious to us and we need you! Don’t give up! Keep going for

Jesus! You’re doing a great work! Love, M.”

You see, without a doubt, both Mama and Peter have the faith that we

can make it. And when we go through times of breakings or lesson learning, which

is all part of our lives as disciples of Jesus, they are not only there for us,

but they also have perfect faith that we can make it, and truly admire us for

our dedication to the Lord. I’m convinced of that.

I made the foolish mistake one time of looking into another leader’s

notebook after they had visited the Folks’ house. I thought there might be

something in there about me. (Why on earth would I go out of my way to read

something that would have been said about me? Well, I told you it was foolish.)

I didn’t find anything after all, but it was a serious breach in the spirit for

me to do that. Our life in the Family as disciples following Jesus as closely as

possible is a serious calling. We are called to be a tight Family who can trust

each other. To be looking through someone else’s notebook was a breach of that

trust and it bothered me that I had yielded to that. I knew that I would be

hindered in my spiritual growth, as it was a type of “cigar” coming between me

and the Lord, as the old story goes. So I wrote Mama about it.

Mama wrote me back a very encouraging reply, once again looking past

my sins and seeing the positive work of what the Lord was doing in my heart.

Because I had coughed up what was not only an embarrassing mistake, but also one

that would by all carnal reasoning cause me to be less trusted, she wrote that

she felt that she could trust me more. Perhaps, she said, not trust me to not

peek into another’s notebook, but to trust me to be open and honest if I did.

She saw something greater that the Lord had done in my life.

The story doesn’t end there, though. It must have been about three

months later when I was at a meeting with Peter that I asked if I could look at

a computer that he was using. It had some programs on it that he was testing,

and so I asked if I could take a look at it. He was about to lie down for a nap,

so he handed me the computer and said, “I’ve got some open files on it. Just

don’t look at those, okay?” This is to the known notebook peep, ha! But once

again, he trusted that I’d learned what I was supposed to learn from that

experience and that I wouldn’t let it happen again. And to this day, I haven’t.

Why? Because you know when you’re trusted and it makes you fight a little harder

to not betray that trust. (Aside from the fact that I really don’t want to have

to confess that again!)

Mama was traveling through the area I was in, in order to meet up with

Peter after one of his trips. Rather than staying in a hotel she asked if she

and her secretary could use a camper that was at our Home. I moved it to a local

campground where they stayed. (One thing Mama and Peter do not do is waste a

dime of God’s money!) It rained that night, and I came back in the morning to

find Mama sleeping in a chair in the camper as the roof was leaking in several

places. I couldn’t believe how cheerful she was!

“It’s okay, Abner! It started dripping on the bed, so I moved over to

the side. Then it started dripping there, so I moved over to this nice cozy

chair and I just prayed against any more drips and slept so well. The Lord kept

it nice and dry here! Isn’t He wonderful?” I mean, it’s one thing to be polite,

but she was just genuinely cheerful and happy and loving Jesus and thankful for

the dry place she had to sleep, even if it was in a chair in a leaky camper. And

you can bet that those wakeful hours at night were spent loving the Lord,

praying for individuals in the Family, or listening to tapes and attending to

her huge mountain of a workload.

When you’re around Mama in her normal living or work environment, you

become aware that she is totally absorbed in loving the Lord first, and loving

and helping others second. She totally lives to love and to serve. For me, she

is the embodiment of Matthew 22:37-40.

If I could say anything about Mama and Peter in a few short sentences,

it would be this: The Family could not be in better, more loving, concerned or

capable hands. There is no one that I would trust more to carry the ball across

the finish line of the Endtime, to faithfully follow wherever God leads

regardless of the opinions of men or carnal reasoning. They have unswerving

faith that comes from a deep connection with God, and they have a tireless

dedication to the Lord, to His children, and to those who have not yet found His

love. We’ve all seen that. They are both very loving shepherds and extremely

capable executives. (They’re pretty smart, too, though they’ll just tell you

it’s the Lord. It does take some brains to run such a large and complex

organization as the Family today.) They need and deserve our prayers, our help,

and our support. They are only human, and they are totally aware of their own

human limitations. And they are utterly leaning on the power of God to finish

the job.

I trust them with my life.

If That Isn’t Love?

From Bethy, 27, WS

The accusation that Mama and Peter treat badly those who are not

totally “on board” or “loyal” upsets me, because I have personally witnessed the

exact opposite. Not just on one occasion, but repeatedly over the years. A few

instances immediately come to mind.

One was during the first two years of the Zine. As a Zine team, we had

a ways to go in being fully united with each other, as well as on board with the

way the Family was going. Although we were living in a different unit than the

Folks at the time, we communicated with Mama frequently due to the nature of our


Mama would approve the work we did, and there were occasions when she

would make a change that some did not agree with or had a question about.

Sometimes the letters written back to Mama explaining the reasons someone did

not agree with her were less than positive and could easily be termed as

disrespectful, doubtful or accusing. This type of thing happened on many

different occasions, and it never ceased to amaze me how loving and

sweetly-presented Mama’s replies were. She always encouraged us to ask her if we

had any questions or didn’t understand why she was making the change she did. On

some occasions Mama conceded on our point, and other times she felt led

otherwise and stood by her point.

But she was always ready to hear us out, and if she didn’t agree with

us, she would explain it thoroughly and very lovingly.

I found out later just how hard all this was for Mama. It came to a

point where she felt obligated to defend every change to us, and spent a lot of

her time doing so. However, despite continued questions and disagreement with

the direction she chose to go, she was always encouraging and loving and kind in

her presentation, and took her time to explain things to us even when faced with

personal criticisms and questions on her decisions. The fact that some chose not

to accept the answers or the explanations was not Mama’s fault or the fault of

her presentation.

I have on file forty different long letters Mama wrote to us over the

period of a year and a half. These are not just, “Oh, could you change this word

to say that” kind of letters, but these are all letters of explanation as to why

she felt led to make a certain change, or they are responses to different ones’

letters to her.

Here is a quote from one of those letters that gives you an example of

the way she treated these differing opinions and questions that were posed to


“I appreciated your bringing up the points that you did, and I

understand your thoughts and how you could feel that way. I’m always glad to

hear from you, and I appreciate your taking the time to write. It doesn’t worry

me when I hear ideas or opinions contrary to my own.-I freely admit that I need

lots of help, and I’ll always pray about it if something comes up that I haven’t

already considered. So don’t hold back on telling me something just because

you’re worried about bringing up a different opinion, because I appreciate it.

“I’m really thankful that you wrote me. I didn’t consider your letter

out of it.-Quite to the contrary, as you’ll see in the message below, Dad

commends you for asking honestly, he really loves you and is proud of you!-And I

agree. Thanks for being such a blessing and big help to us through all that you

do there.”

No one can tell me that Mama and Peter treat badly those who do not

agree with them on everything. All I have seen is continued patience, love,

understanding and kindness, even when they might have been personally hurt or

disappointed by what people who disagree with them say or do.

* * *

One time I was present with my dad [Peter] when a young person

explained to him the kinds of difficulties and harsh treatment they had received

in a “Victor” type program gone-wrong. It was pretty heartbreaking to hear. I

looked over at him at one point, curious as to what his reaction would be, and

he was crying. It touched my heart so much. Of course, it was sad to hear of the

harsh correction that this dear one had undergone, but I was so touched to see

my dad so personally affected by it as to bring him to tears. I could see he

felt responsible in some way and was very saddened that things had reached such

a point. With tears in his eyes, he very humbly asked forgiveness of this young

person. Even though my dad had nothing to do, in my opinion, with the treatment

the young person had gone through, I was so impressed by the fact that he felt

personally bad and asked forgiveness. He didn’t have to, but he did. It’s

something I’ll never forget.

* * *

It’s been a great joy for me to be able to see Mama and my dad

together. They love each other so much and they are so sweet and personable with

each other. It has been a great blessing to have had more contact with them in

recent years. And to see them with Trevor and Olivia, their grandchildren, is

such a joy! They are typical grandparents-which means of course, the children

behave much differently around them than they do around their parents, ahem!

Well, not to worry, the Folks just enjoy the children so much. The first time

they had the opportunity to be with both of them together, they wanted to take

them “solo,” assuring Keana and I that they would be fine, that we should take a

break and come back to pick up the kids in a few hours.

After about an hour, Keana and I, knowing our kids rather well, and

being especially acquainted with the energy they contain, thought we might

consider “checking in” to see how they were getting on. As we got close to the

door, peals of laugher were ringing out, and when we came in, the kids were

doing….well, you know…the things three-year-olds do, and highly entertaining

Mama and Peter.

It was just hilarious to listen to Mama’s account of their time with

the children later, and to witness Mama’s amusement at how much energy they

contain. “Do they ever sit still for more than a few minutes?” was her question.

She and my dad had planned ahead of time what they would do with the children-a

plan involving lunch, story, coloring, etc. All of which was completed in about

45 minutes, much to their surprise.

As a mother, knowing your kid is going to be spending a few hours of

“quality time” with Queen Maria and King Peter without you around can be a

little unnerving. You wonder what on earth they will think about your

less-than-perfect three-year-old afterwards. So it was quite a relief to find

they were just delighted with the children and with the chance to spend time

with them, despite the food that had spilled on the table, the marks that had

been accidentally drawn on the couch and the fact that the kids couldn’t sit

still for longer than two minutes for a story. Mama commented, “I need to brush

up on my pre-school skills, I can see.” But they immediately began fashioning

great plans for an outing-although they wisely decided to bring the mothers and

perhaps a “support staff” along next time, ha!

Although we don’t live in the same unit as the Folks, when we were

nearby and whenever possible they’ve always tried to make special times to see

and fellowship with the kids. Even when they were busy or had to take care of

other things, they would schedule some special time to spend with them. Once we

had a big meeting, and of course the children didn’t attend; however, they had

dinner with just the kids afterwards in their bedroom. They gave them little

plastic flowered “leis” as a gift, which they promptly donned and started their

own little “Hawaiian dance school” in the room. The kids insisted that Grandpa

Peter do a “Hawaiian prayer” for the meal, which he did, much to their delight,

actions, dancing and all. After the meal, they played hide and seek. The kids

took turns hiding and then it was Grandma and Grandpa’s turn. It was so fun for

me to watch Mama scurrying around the room, trying to find a suitable hiding

place while the kids counted from the bathroom. She settled on standing behind

the curtain. Grandpa Peter was found easily, but Mama had to stay hidden for

quite a while as the kids “searched” for her. Finally, this stifled giggle came

from behind the curtain, giving her away, and everyone was laughing when the

kids finally pulled the curtain away. It was so wonderful for me to watch.

Mama and Peter are so natural and normal, and to see them interact

with their grandchildren is such joy and so fun. They always love to hear any

funny stories we have about the kids.

It’s Our Right to Believe What We Wish!

By Dawn (formerly Lois), CRO, Europe

My name is Dawn-some of you may have known me as Lois. I’m very proud,

thankful and happy to say that I’m coming up to the 30th anniversary of my years

in this wonderful Family, next month in fact!-Quite an achievement, some would

say, but I know it’s simply a case of “by the grace of God stand I,” a testimony

to His strength and keeping through my many times of weakness and desperation

over these three decades. And I couldn’t be more thankful that He has done so!

Thirty years is quite a stretch out of anyone’s life, and as I’m sure

each of you could testify of your own years in the Family, whether they be many

or relatively few-the Lord really knows how to make each year a whopper, exactly

what we need! I have been through many changes and “revolutions” in the Family.

I have been involved in front-line witnessing and teaching my children to do so,

as well as years in other type of work-secretarial,

behind-and-in-front-of-the-scenes, shepherding of WS units, and most recently

the Lord has entrusted me to help with the shepherding of the Family as a CRO, a

responsibility which I am very desperate about.

Well, these are pretty tough times we’re living in, times which “try

men’s souls” in many ways, and times in which the battles we’re called upon to

fight are getting fiercer and fiercer. The spiritual warfare we’re engaged in is

very obvious to those who have their eyes opened to what the words and sights

and sounds that we’re surrounded with really mean-and to me they mean that the

gauntlet has been thrown down with a force that it hasn’t until now, and it’s

time for us to take it up with equal force and determination as we fight back.

I recently read something which a former member of our Family wrote-an

explanation of his interpretation of some past events, the conclusions he’s

reached regarding some of our Family beliefs, as well as his impressions and

denouncement of Dad, Mama and Peter. He’s obviously chosen his path, as he has

decided to remove himself from our membership, and as I have just explained

above, I have chosen mine. I have written a few testimonies over the years on

specific subjects or lessons as they have come up in my life, and you have

gotten a peek into some of my highs and lows through the desperate introductory

letter to “Let Jesus Bear the Weight” and a few other Letters. But this time is


I love you, my dear fellow Family members. This Family is my life, my

chosen profession and dedication, my passion and my calling. I have no doubt

that it was our wonderful Savior and Lover, dear Jesus, who called me to this

ragtag band 30 years ago, and I have no doubt that He still wants me to be a

part of it today. And you-each of you who daily make that same decision with

me-are part of what I live and die for. Of course Jesus comes first, and without

His wonderful Words and the channels through which He has chosen to pour it, our

dear Dad, Mama and Peter, we wouldn’t have the Family to live in and for and

with, nor to bring others to. All these things I am proud of and hold my head

high when thinking or speaking of them.

But this Family is under attack-serious attack. It’s nothing new, as

the Lord’s Words and prophets-and of course the Lord Himself-have been under

attack since the beginning, as Satan the usurper desired to have God’s Kingdom

and His children as his own. I have experienced many different and varied

attacks on the Family, all of which you can read about in the annals of our

history in the Letters and publications, and I have fought back in different

ways at different times-prayer, working on Word compilations, being a part of

one of our major court case teams, and prayer, prayer and prayer again!-And

thank the Lord, He delivered us from each one, whether they were inside or

outside attacks-and we still stand today.

But this present attack is different-as there will probably be many

new and different methods employed by the Enemy over the years to come-and this

one seems to be hitting its mark with our Family members directly, especially

our tender, vulnerable, very potential second generation. In this attack, the

writings and surmisings of those who proclaim themselves to be “in the know”

raises questions about aspects of things which have been “behind the scenes” for

many years: questions about Dad and Mama and Peter and their true nature,

questions about their motives and character, questions about the sincerity of

what we read about them in the pubs and whether it reflects reality, questions

about the preparation of the Word for pubbing and thus its veracity, and so on.

Theirs are hard-hitting accusations, and they hit at those who don’t

have much to counterattack with, because those of us who have had the blessing

of being able to personally meet and live with the Folks have been relatively

few. I am one of those, and my experience and conclusions are vastly different

from those who write such scathing and demeaning treatises, so much so that it’s

difficult to believe that we’re speaking of the same people-our King Peter and

Queen Maria, and of course, Dad too!

It’s as if two people are walking a parallel path, side by side

through much of the scenery, fields and parks and whatnot that they’re traveling

through. Their paths veer off from each other from time to time, and then merge

for a time again. And then at the end of the road, one looks back and describes

a journey of horror and darkness and gloom, while the other describes a path of

difficulties at times, but one in which there were some loving and caring hands

there at all times to help them find their way, and which helped to make the

journey one which I’m very thankful to say continues on today. Well, he told his

story, and now I will tell mine.

My more intimate relationship with Dad and Mama began around 1983,

when they moved to the Philippines where my husband, Apollos, and I and our

children had been living for some time already. At that time we helped them to

get set up in some temporary housing, and then helped them at various times as

their team grew to accommodate the needs of the services they needed to tend to.

Those were wonderful years of living close to them, of being for the first time

under their direct shepherding, of benefiting from their guidance and closer

hand in our lives, as well as their correction when we needed it. I began at

that time to understand what Dad and Mama and Peter’s shepherding was really all

about-and to describe it would be like trying to describe a rainbow, as it’s so

multi-faceted and beautiful.

Just a little example: One time I was leaving one of the nearby

unit-Homes after an evening of fellowship with them. It was rainy and a bit

slippery, and true to my goatish nature, I hoofed it out down the driveway by

myself, and promptly slipped and hit bottom hard-being a few months pregnant at

that! Apollos picked me up and I hobbled home, and spent a few painful days with

extra padding on my seat. When Mama heard about it, the response was one of

those “rainbow” ones I mentioned, a bit of everything!

I got lots of sympathy and compassion, prayer and words of concern,

was told to be sure to rest and not overdo; and then was chided for walking off

on my own without holding on to my husband’s arm, and him for not taking ahold

of it as he should whenever we’re out together, so that we could be a help and

support to each other. Dad’s example came into the picture too, of how this is

what he has taught Mama, and how we should be with each other-the men to be

gentlemen and be there for the women, and the women to allow their partners to

be gentlemen to them.

I could fill pages with such examples, and maybe I will some time. But

with 17 years to cover from the time I began to know the Folks more personally,

I’ll have to limit it this time. But perhaps a brief summary of some of the

events and times and situations which stand out to me over the years will help

to paint the picture a little more clearly of what this journey with them has

been for me.

* * *

Around 1985, during the time of the “wind down” of WS, Peter met with

my husband and me to explain how they felt the Lord was leading for some of the

families in WS that had children who were getting older to move to the field,

that this would help to better meet the growing needs of the children, as well

as help WS be able to better concentrate on their projects for the Family. This

was a big change for us, leaving friends and loved ones, stepping out after

years of behind-the-scenes work to the “unknown” of field life, including the

decision of whether Apollos and I would go together or how it would all work!

The Lord had given me a verse as I was praying before meeting with

Peter, which prepared me for the news he was going to share. Peter didn’t know

of the Lord’s preparation of my heart, and it was obvious that it was very

difficult for him to break the news to us-in fact, it was very painful for him,

anticipating that it would be a very difficult heartbreak for us. His tears and

honest and sincere compassion meant more to me than anything could have, and I

knew that his heart was one that truly fit the description of rejoicing with

them that rejoice, and weeping with them that weep. I have seen this time and

again from not only Peter, but from Dad and Mama too, as after all, Peter was

their “student,” and this was the sample and heart he had seen and learned from


* * *

Mama helped me greatly in the transition the Lord asked me to make

from being a behind-the-scenes, shy and withdrawn secretary to someone with

shepherding responsibilities. This first came about as I was asked to accompany

some of the ambassadors (Abi, Juan, and Gary), as they held delegates meetings

for training in different parts of the world, followed by the TTC in Mexico. As

unaccustomed and disliking as I was of any kind of public speaking, or even much

one-on-one shepherding, Mama went very slowly and patiently with me. She never

condemned or berated me for my hesitancies and fears, but rather encouraged me

not to worry about it, to just be myself, and that others had seen enough of the

big, strong vocal leaders, and it would do them good to see someone a little

meeker and milder, who nevertheless the Lord could use.

Her own sample has been a great encouragement to me in this regard,

and I have never seen her condemn or look down on others for their weaknesses or

lacks. In fact, she has tremendous understanding and compassion on the weak and

on those who battle, truly seeing herself as weak and needy of the Lord’s help

in every area, as nothing without Him, and she reflects the faith that the Lord

is capable and desirous of helping us all.

* * *

I saw the Folks’ patience, mercy, and forgiveness extended to me many

times, both during times of battling with my besetting weaknesses and sins such

as self-righteousness, as well as after some serious blow-its. Once we were

preparing a series of newspaper articles for a major local newspaper, and I

worked on finalizing corrections and last-minute changes before they were sent

to the Family members who would submit them to the newspaper for printing. One

day Peter came to me asking if I for sure had sent the final draft of the last

article, and if so, why had the Family member who received it questioned

something which was supposed to have already been corrected? And lo and behold

(and woe is me!), I had sent off one of the rough drafts instead of the

finalized one-a very serious mistake considering it was for a broad GP


But I received mercy-a little sad shaking of the head with a thankful

sigh that someone had caught it-and that was enough for me to have some very

desperate prayer time with Jesus, asking His forgiveness and help to be more on

the ball and sober and prayerful, and never do that again!-And did someone else

take care of the final draft the next day?-No, everything continued as it had,

except for a much more serious and prayerful secretary, and a greater

understanding through the mercy I’d received of what true unconditional love and

trust really means.

* * *

Over the years that I lived and worked with Dad, Mama, and Peter, I

have been involved to some degree or another in their praying or counseling

about many different people and situations. I can never recall them speaking or

counseling about someone in anger or with any feelings or terms or expressions

which would indicate that they didn’t like a person, were upset with them, had

any motives of vengeance or harm, or anything like that. I have only experienced

and felt their love, concern, empathy, sympathy, and deep desire to do all they

could to help, whether it was by being able to understand a person or situation

better and thus being able to give the counsel that was needed; hearing from the

Lord for or about them; and of course praying for them and asking the Lord to

work in lives and hearts as needed.

I’d like now to move on to more recent years. Perhaps one of the most

difficult times for all of us was the persecution years beginning in 1992. In

Europe during those years, we suffered raids on our Homes in Spain and France,

as well as a major court case in England, which raised the question of whether

our Family is a safe environment in which to raise our children. During much of

that time I was involved with the court case battles in one way or another-at

times living with those working on the case and being immersed from morning till

night in the many details of it, at other times visiting and meeting with

different media and legal teams about situations that had arisen, reading and

writing reams of material about every aspect of the case and the various

accusations which were thrown at us.

That time was one of those “crisis of faith” times for me, when

because of the accusations which were hurled at us, which I was forced to read

because of the need to pray and counsel with others about them, there were many

different angles of our life and beliefs which I was confronted with which I

hadn’t formerly considered. These were questions and criticisms about things

which I had taken by faith these many years, questions which had previously

never entered my mind, and accusations which sent the mind spinning with a

completely different twist on things that I had previously believed with pure

childlike faith-accusations of things such as child abuse, mindless adherence to

a “cult” and “cult leader,” brainwashing, etc. So in the midst of trying to

battle for the Family, I was faced with questions about my own faith and future,

and knew that I had to reconcile these things with myself and the Lord.

So I did a lot of praying, rereading of the Word, studying and

researching those things that I had taken with such faith and innocence before,

to see if I still believed them in the face of these criticisms and

contradictions. And in the end I made the decision that I did, that they were

truth, that they were based on Scripture, that the spirit and fruits I’d seen in

the Family were undeniable, and that it was worth fighting for.

I’ll come back to this reference point a little later, but in order to

keep up with the chronological order of events of my personal experiences and

interactions with the Folks, I’ll go on to another of my major battles, a few

years later, when I again hit a low point. This was the time of “Let Jesus Bear

the Weight,” when “troubles just tumbled about me and heavier came each task.”

My letter to Mama and Peter at the beginning of that GN explains how low in

faith and trust I had become, and their response was again a sample of their

love and concern and true shepherds’ hearts. Peter came all the way from

wherever he was to meet with me and our teamwork, with the main goal being to

help strengthen me and to present me with a choice-to either grab ahold of the

Lord’s strength and grace and learn to let Him bear the weight, thus being able

to continue on with helping to shepherd the Family, or to let it all go and take

an easier route of serving the Lord in a less strenuous capacity.

What I didn’t realize until Peter was with us for a few days was that

his making this trip to meet with us was actually during the time of his and

Mama’s honeymoon together! He had just received his new commission from the Lord

and Dad, he proudly and humbly (at the same time) showed me the ring which was

previously Dad’s but now on his finger, and told me that the Lord had put him

and Mama together! Wow, what news! And here was I, being a “problem case,”

resulting in calling Peter away from their honeymoon to baby-sit me!

Well, was I ever humbled when fully realizing the scope of their love

enough to bend over that cliff to rescue this poor lost lamb. That’s the love I

received from them, and this love is what I have seen as the motivation behind

their decisions and actions time and time again-that of unselfishly,

sacrificially and lovingly serving the flock, their fellow servants and mates in

this Family that they love.

A few months after this incident when Mama began explaining in the

Letters about how the Lord had put her and Peter together and had called and

anointed Peter to be our king, I must somewhat ashamedly admit that I had a

battle about it at first. I knew Peter fairly well and loved and admired him

greatly. I had the blessing of working with him on different occasions over the

years, and had been in meetings he’d held, counseling sessions and so on.

Nothing had ever come up which would cause me to doubt his sincere love for the

Lord and the Family, and his desperation to shepherd, lead, guide and serve us


But still, I was shaky in my initial acceptance of this change.

Why?-Probably just because it was different, and because Peter wasn’t Dad, and

because I had lived 15 years with Dad as our king-in other words, I was in a

rut. But when praying about it, I remembered the sacrificial mission of love and

mercy that Peter (and Mama by agreement and proxy) went on just to love and

rescue me, to give me the opportunity to see through the fog that I had allowed

to cloud my vision, that I might see clearly again in order to make a

knowledgeable choice regarding how to proceed with my life.

I owed them much, as I’m sure I would have regretted a choice that

would have been less than the Lord’s highest for me. And realizing what love I

had received brought me to the conclusion that even if Peter isn’t Dad, I can

accept him as the Lord’s chosen, for the Lord’s love through him and Mama had

proven their anointing and right to royalty-our servant king and queen. I don’t

know, maybe I’m such a weak vessel that the Lord had to engineer these

circumstances to give me proof of Mama and Peter’s love and to help me have

faith that they are truly the Lord’s chosen channels. But if that’s what it

took, I accepted it gratefully and humbly, and my faith has never been


* * *

A year or so later, I have a similar story to tell-this time not of

Peter coming to help me, but of me being invited to their Home for a time of

rest and re-strengthening. Letting Jesus bear the weight didn’t come so easily

for me, and on top of the continued workload which we had, I began struggling

with the use of the gift of prophecy-not the doctrine or theology of it, but

with my personal gift. I just didn’t seem to have it, and when all around me

were receiving direction and answers and guidance through their gifts, mine

seemed to grow dimmer and dimmer.

I had written to Mama about this and told her of my battles, and again

the reply was one of love and faith that the Lord could and would do it, and

then reaching out her hand to help pull me up. (You’d think by this time that

they’d have come to the realization that maybe I was just too weak to hold any

training or input or investment of time and attention they might give me, and

just let me be. But that’s not their way-not with me, and not with any of their

children, as far as I’ve seen.)

So I spent a wonderful three months with them, months which confirmed

everything good I had ever heard about them, and decried every lie that had been

uttered, including those that are presently being circulated. As I used the

illustration earlier, living with Mama is like watching a rainbow grow and take

its shape and form and color, and then watch as it maintains that fullness and

completeness on an everyday basis. Mama is concerned about every aspect of the

Family, the Family’s members, their hearts and lives and families, ups and

downs, battles and victories, as well as the bigger picture of the Words that

are being received and going through the stages to be sent to the Family,

different projects in the works both in WS as well as worldwide. You name it,

Mama is concerned and in prayer about it, and wants to make sure it’s right.

Those three months I was privileged to have many conversations with

Mama about a large range of topics, and I was amazed at her capacity to hold so

many situations and people and projects in her prayers and attention and concern

all at the same time. Mama listened to every letter that came in to her, and

many times our conversations were taken up largely by her desperate prayers for

the ones who had written and their situations, that the Lord would give His help

and answer their needs and prayers and bring victory-and of course, that He’d

speak and give His Words of comfort and love or guidance and counsel. I saw (or

rather heard of) Mama’s weeping through the night when reading the heartbreaking

letter from the young woman whose letter prompted the “Jesus Our Good Shepherd”

prophecies. No one was too little or unimportant-if their cry came before her,

Mama was concerned for them.

Mama’s patience with me through my prophecy battles was a great help

to me. She truly is that little girl of faith that Dad spoke about, who helped

inspire and encourage his faith many times simply because she believed, and she

continues to do the same with each of us today. Some of the accusations I have

read about Mama are horrendous and ridiculous, and if there was any inkling of

truth to them, I am sure there would be many more testimonies and outcries that

we would have all heard about, and I’m sure I would have seen at least some

hints of it during my visits and times with them. It’s sort of like the search

for the “missing link”-if evolution is true, we should be knee-deep in’m!

But from my personal experiences as well as what I have observed to be

their reaction and responses to others, I have seen only love and patience and

compassion, and a very prayerful balance of shepherding and trusting the Lord to

work in people’s lives. They were there when I needed them, there for me just as

they are for you and everyone in our Family. I’ve seen their love and concern.

I’ve seen Mama weep over letters she has received, heart cries that have caused

her sleepless nights. I heard firsthand of her reaction to tragedies such as the

Austin accident-such love and concern for her flock, and such a desire for the

Lord to work and strengthen them, and to hear His answers and guidance for them.

Some have accused Mama and Peter of being “control freaks,” of wanting

only conformity to their wishes and desires, to what they believe the Lord gives

through them. But the love and concern I saw is not control-it’s tender loving

care. Does a mother “control” her children? Does a mother’s love and concern and

care translate to “control” to those who love and need her?-Sometimes, as with

some it can be misdirected that way. But I don’t believe this is the case with

Mama and Peter. As with the example of Peter’s visit to help me, they put forth

clearly my options, and the decision of which path to take was up to me.

* * *

I have also read accusations about myself-and about you too, by the

way-that we are unthinking and naïve, that we have abdicated our right to choose

in place of trusting Dad, Mama and Peter, and that we unquestioningly believe

and obey whatever they say. Well, I would take exception to being called

unthinking and naïve. I don’t think anyone who has been in the Family this long

would be so without having put some thought and prayer into it, and without

being aware of all the possible reasons why he or she shouldn’t! Ours isn’t an

easy religion, as we all know. There are many difficulties and battles, both

physically and spiritually. The Lord and the Folks have continually asked us to

count the cost and to evaluate our status in the Family to make sure it

accurately reflects our faith and actions.

There have been several points in the Family, such as recently with

the call of decision to sign the Charter Membership contract, where the Folks

basically said, “As of this point, there are no longer any Family members. If

you want to be one, you have to sign up!” Those of us who signed certainly had

to think (and pray!) to do that, especially as the contract included a list of

the Charter Membership guidelines that we were agreeing to!

I don’t find any lack of thought or naivety there, and in fact the

goal of the S2K, as well as other times of shaking the tree previous to that,

was to only have those on board who were fully aware of what they were in the

Family for, and fully in agreement.

And at this point I’ll go back to the crisis of faith which I

explained earlier, during the time of persecution and the different court cases

we were embroiled in. That time of re-evaluating what I believed in, as

difficult as it was and as close to the brink I was as I looked down, served to

set a stronger rock underneath me than had ever been there before. I looked the

issues in the face, as well as the fruit of Dad and Mama’s shepherding of us

all, and decided that in spite of the difficulties and problems, which I didn’t

deny, I was still sure, beyond a shadow of a doubt, that the Lord was in it and

that He was continuing to be a very real and involved part of the Family. The

Family was His “baby,” and our continuing to follow the radical lines He’d

directed us down, in spite of the System’s persecution and disdain, only assured

our continuing to stay in the center of His will and plan.

I hope you, my dear mates in this wonderful Family, take similar

affront at such accusations against our intelligence and the decisions of faith

which we have consciously and purposely made. It is certainly our right to

believe what we wish, no matter how crazy or foolish it may seem to some. Isn’t

that part and parcel of what we are called to as Christians? “I am become a fool

for Christ’s sake!” (I’m sure you can quote many others along similar lines!)

Am I unthinking and naïve just because I choose to believe that which

someone else doesn’t or can’t? I would hope not, although we know we shouldn’t

be surprised that such accusations are leveled against us more and more, with

greater and costlier repercussions. “If we have run with the footmen and they

have wearied us, what shall we do in the time of horses?”

* * *

The second part of the accusation I mentioned above, that we have

abdicated our right to choose in place of trusting Dad, Mama and Peter, and that

we unquestioningly believe and obey whatever they say-well, in a sense that’s

true, and for those of us who have chosen this path of CM membership in the

Family, we have done so knowing and understanding what it means-”with full

consent.” I have no problem with giving over my “right to choose,” my right to

discern what is true and false, to the Lord’s choice of Mama and Peter as our

prophets and shepherds. This is what I knowingly and with full control of my

faculties choose-what I believe to be their anointing and inspiration as the

Lord’s mouthpieces for us in these End Times.

Were God’s people in the pages of the Bible unthinking and naïve in

giving their full faith and obedience to the guidance of the Lord through Moses?

(It was those who didn’t who were in trouble!)-Or Noah (same answer!)? How about

David or any others of the Lord’s prophets for their times and places? Why

should it be any different now?

And why should the radicalness and differentness of some of the

messages which we are receiving today cause us to waver or doubt, or to proclaim

that they are false prophets spewing out a mass of weirdnesses? “Did God Make a

Mistake?” covered it all very well, the story down through the ages of prophet

after prophet who were given unorthodox messages and means of getting God’s

point across, proving that God is certainly not bound to our limited and

conventional means and mindsets!

* * *

But the other side of this “abdicating my right to choose” and

“unquestioningly believing and obeying whatever they say” is that I can speak

up, I’m encouraged to do so, and I most certainly do! Mama and Peter, taking

into consideration that they are the Lord’s prophets and His chosen shepherds of

our Family, are incredibly open and have made it clear that they welcome and

desire our comments, thoughts, observations and feelings. About what?-Anything

and everything!

I and the other CROs have had the blessing of being able to receive

some of the New Wine in rough draft form before it comes out to the Family,

particularly some of the series which will have a major effect on the Family

such as the “Loving Jesus” series and the “Law of Love” series. We have been

asked to prayerfully read them and to submit any questions, comments,

reservations, possible reactions from our Family members, and anything we’d like

to contribute. You might ask, “Well, if prophecy is prophecy and the Lord is

guiding us through that, then why ask the opinions of others, and how can Mama

possibly change something that may be in question if it is the Lord Who gave

it?” I’ve asked that question myself.

But I’ve seen a wisdom and openness and relationship with the Lord in

Mama which goes beyond merely taking dictation and proceeding without question.

Mama takes her “winetaster” role very seriously, and in order to be able to see

and understand all angles of a situation, she often employs the help of others-a

very wise thing to do! And I am sure that each one of us who has ever been asked

has been very desperate to be a “wise counselor” to her.

And as far as “unquestioningly believing and obeying whatever they

say”-well, as I explained, we can question, just as can you. Mama has encouraged

legitimate questions, and has encouraged the shepherds of the Family (whether

Continental or Area or Home), to help direct anyone with questions to the

appropriate answers in the Word, or to ask the Lord for the answers if none can

be found. You and I are also free to ask questions directly of Mama, and these

are also welcomed.

But there does come a time when our role is to “unquestioningly

believe and obey whatever they say”-or rather whatever the Lord gives them. This

is the proverbial “bottom line,” and the point of faith that each of us must

have in order to be a Charter Member-that we “believe that David was God’s

Endtime prophet and that Maria is God’s chosen and anointed successor, who has

inherited David’s mantle as God’s prophetess.” (From The Love Charter.) This is

my belief in the Lord’s calling and anointing upon them and in the Words the

Lord gives through them. And as such, I choose to follow where the Lord leads

them, as I certainly trust their channel more than my own-both because of the

fruit I’ve seen the Lord’s Words through them bear, as well as because of the

experiences I have of them being truly motivated and loving and sincere

shepherds and followers of our King.

It’s simple arithmetic, if you believe the spiritual principles upon

which the theocracy of the Family is founded. Such following of the Word doesn’t

detract from our Charter rights to hear and find the Lord’s will for ourselves

and our own lives. It’s just that as Family members, one of the things we

believe and adhere to is that we have a spiritual king and queen, prophets who

hear from God, and who we look to for our guidance through this ever-darkening


But I understand how it’s so easy, once the filter of faith is knocked

askew somewhat, to see things in a totally different light than when looking

through spiritually seeing eyes. What we see and believe in the realm of the

spirit is a very delicate thing-it’s there and it’s real and it’s so precious,

to be tended and nurtured with great care. But there are so many things which

can spoil it or cause it to dim or even be lost completely-compromise;

bitterness and resentment; pride; the admittance of pollutants such as System

attitudes and values which go contrary to the Word, but which can seem so

logical and right; not standing up for our beliefs in the face of mockery and

criticism, thus weakening our conviction by accepting the shame in our beliefs

that people place on us, etc.

It could be any one of these things that has caused the path which

some of our former members describe to sound so different than the one which I

have experienced during my years in the Family. That’s not to say that it’s been

without its battles and trials and disappointments at times. But the truth

stands sure-and I’m standing up too. I’m standing up and proclaiming that I’m

putting my lot in with the Lord and His guidance of this Family through our

loving Dad and Mama and Peter, and with the future which He’s moving us towards.

The day of march has surely come, and I am thankful that I can say “I am not

ashamed; for I know whom I have believed, and am persuaded that He is able to

keep that which I have committed unto Him against that day” (2Tim.1:12).

Yes, I’m Proud of Our Family!

By Francis Fisherman, 31, Mama’s Home

Hi! I’m Francis Fisherman. I’ve been living in Mama and Peter’s Home

for about five years now, and was in another WS unit for a year before that. I

work closely with Mama and Peter, and with Peter in particular since I assist

them with matters that concern the administration of the Family. I also oversee

the production of our GP materials, the Activated program, marketing of our

tools, and related projects.

I wasn’t born in the Family, but my parents joined when I was three,

so I was raised in the Family almost my whole life. I’m 31 now, so I don’t know

whether I still qualify as a “young person,” but I still feel like one, and I

still think like one in many ways. I can certainly relate to and identify with

the SGAs who may be younger than me, but who share the same common background

and heritage.

I’m writing this in response to the letter that James Penn (Phil)

wrote with his thoughts on the Family, our doctrine, leadership, WS, and Mama

and Peter. I lived with James for a year prior to coming to Mama and Peter’s

Home, and communicated with him a fair bit after that on work-related issues,

until his decision to leave the Family a year or so ago. I got along well with

James, or Ray as he went by at the time, and he was fun and interesting to talk

with. So knowing James, it saddened me to read the accusations that he put in

his letter, especially those against Mama and Peter. It was just hard to believe

that this was the same person that I knew and lived with. He’s very logical and

a good debater, but the bitterness was just too obvious in his writings. People

change, I guess.

I can understand James’ and other former members doctrinal differences

with the Family. A lot of people disagree with Loving Jesus, the use of so much

prophecy in the Family, the Law of Love, etc., and that’s just fine with me. I

don’t really care what other people think about those things and whether they

think these or other Family doctrines are right or wrong. The way I look at it,

if I’m going to believe in something, I believe in it not because other people

agree with me or not-but because I believe it to be so, because examination of

the facts, and what I feel in my heart, convince me that it is so. Those who

disagree are entitled to believe what they want. We’ll find out in the afterlife

who was right and who was wrong, and we can sort it out then. I don’t care for

theological debates that much actually (other than for the purpose of witnessing

and getting people saved)-I’m mainly concerned with whether I’m doing the best

thing that I can do with my life here on Earth. The belief stuff we can sort out

when we get to Heaven.

Don’t get me wrong, here. I’m not saying that I don’t care about the

Family’s beliefs and doctrines, and that I don’t believe them. I do believe in

them strongly. But I don’t like debating doctrine, because faith is a personal

conviction, not something that can be resolved through debate and logic. If it

was always logical, then it wouldn’t be faith, “for hope that is seen is not

hope” (Romans 8:24). All that to say, I’m not going to get into that here.

But the things James and others have said about Mama and Peter really

upset me, because I live with them, and have lived and worked very closely with

them for the past five years. James hasn’t lived with them for many years (I

don’t know exactly how many, but at least eight or nine), nor even worked that

closely with them via mail for the five years that I’ve been in this Home, so I

don’t know how he can pass himself off as an authority on what they’re like. If

anyone’s an authority on Mama and Peter’s character, it’s those of us who have

lived and worked with them every day in recent years.

So I feel compelled to write up some of the true “inside scoop” of

what life is really like here and what Mama and Peter are really like and what

their leadership is like. I not only live in this Home, but I teamwork with

Peter closely. (I don’t interact with Mama as much as I do Peter, but still a

fair bit-and I did more so a couple of years ago when helping her with various

pubs projects.) As such, I’m privy to a lot of information about how the Family

is run, what decisions are reached by Mama and Peter, how those decisions are

reached and the prayer and reasoning behind them, the communications that go out

of here, etc. I’m not trying to boast, but I think it’s helpful to explain that

I’m pretty in the know about what goes on here, unlike some people who claim to

be, but aren’t!

Let me explain a few things about myself. I don’t consider myself to

be a very spiritual person. I love the Lord, I believe in the Word and the

Family, but I’m a very pragmatic, down-to-earth type of person. I like to deal

in facts and figures, not feelings. I’m a lot like a number of other SGAs I

know, in that I’m quite analytical and I like to look at things as logically as

possible. I like to be convinced about things in my heart, and I don’t just

accept things at face value. I’m a far cry from the “unquestioning believer and

obeyer” WS stereotype that James tried very hard to portray in his letter.

C’mon, James, I thought you knew me better than that.

In fact, I’m a bit of a tough nut, and if you thought that Mama and

Peter only live with people who are blindly yielded to anything they say, and

ready to do anything just because they say so, then if you knew me you’d

probably wonder what in God’s Earth am I doing in their Home, much less working

closely with them? I wonder that myself sometimes, ha! For one, it’s because

Mama and Peter don’t care to surround themselves with “yes men” who are just

going to unquestioningly follow their every word without raising a peep! And I’m

living proof to that. (Oops, there went another of James’ theories.)

At the same time, as I mentioned before, I have learned that there

comes a time when I just have to make a decision whether or not to believe and

accept something even if I don’t understand it and can’t reason it out. That’s

called faith. I’m faced with that sort of decision from time to time. Some of

the things that the Lord has shown Mama and Peter, like the Loving Jesus

revelation, or so much use of prophecy, have not always been easy for me to

understand or accept. Some of these things I couldn’t reason out in my mind

completely. So I’ve had to make a choice to accept those things by faith because

I believe that Mama and Peter are being led of the Lord and they’re hearing from

Him, or else believe that they’re either making this stuff up or being duped by

the Devil. That’s really what it comes down to.

Fortunately for me, I have an advantage in that I know Mama and Peter

very well. So when it comes down to that decision, it’s not a difficult one. I

logically examine each of the possible options:

1. “They’re just making the Lord’s Words up as part of their master

strategy plan to get us to follow their delusions:” For that to happen, they’d

have to be pulling the wool over my eyes and the eyes of a lot of other people

in our Home. Pretty impossible, if I might say so. I live with some folks who I

consider pretty intelligent and sharp, both FGAs and SGAs. I have a real hard

time picturing them as mindless. If you don’t mind, I have a hard time picturing

myself as mindless too, ha! Also, Mama and Peter would have to be somehow

sending me subliminal messages so that when I pray and hear from the Lord

myself, unsolicited by them, and ask the Lord about things in the GNs, what I

get from the Lord confirms what they got. Sorry, I don’t believe in magic mind

manipulation, at least not my mind-not to mention everyone else’s here.

2. “They’re being duped by the Devil into leading the Family astray:”

If there is anyone who I know loves Jesus with all their heart, it’s Mama, and

Peter too. I never met Dad personally, but from reading the nearly 3,000 Letters

that he wrote, regardless of what people accuse him of or what mistakes he made,

I could feel an unquestionable love for and devotion to Jesus. And I feel the

same from Mama and Peter. I’ve seen it day after day in countless examples.

They’re always praising Jesus, thanking Jesus, talking about Jesus, pointing me

to Jesus-their lives are full of Jesus. I don’t even think our bitterest enemies

could accuse Dad and Mama of not lifting up Jesus. So how could the Devil be

promoting so much Jesus in my life? It doesn’t make sense. So I can very easily

eliminate this option.

3. So that leaves me with option 3, which is that they are being led

by the Lord and His Spirit. It’s the only explanation left. So I believe it, and

I trust them. I’m reminded of the verse, “Beware lest ye be found to fight

against God.” If it is the truth and I resist it and find out I’m wrong later on

when I get to Heaven, then I’ll be sorry in the end.

One thing I know for sure is that I don’t have the same love and

devotion for Jesus that Dad did, and that Mama and Peter do. I love the Lord

with all my heart and try my best to serve Him, but if I’m honest with myself I

know it doesn’t match theirs. So who should I trust to be right about whether

something is from the Lord or not? Should I trust myself, or should I trust Mama

and Peter? I’d much rather trust them, because I know they’re closer to Jesus

than I am. I see it in their daily lives. (I’m certainly not going to trust

James and what he says, because I don’t know much about his love and dedication

for the Lord, nor have I seen the fruits of it recently; rather to the contrary,


And if I’m having a real hard time with something, like I did with so

much emphasis on prophecy at the beginning, or even with certain specific

prophecies, here’s how I look at it: I trust Mama and Peter because of the

sample that I’ve seen in them of dedication to Jesus and lifting up Jesus-not

themselves, but Jesus. But even if-worst case scenario-we get to Heaven and I

find out that Mama and Peter were wrong, and that it was all made up or a

delusion, and that the Lord never told them to hear so much from Him in

prophecy, and that the Loving Jesus revelation was just their own imagination,

that the Law of Love didn’t originate from Heaven either, that the prophecies in

the GNs were false, what is Jesus going to do? Is He going to punish me for

trying to hear from Him more? Is He going to be upset at me for trying to love

Him more with all my heart and mind and even body? Is He going to berate and

cast me out for trying to be a sample of His love to others by sharing sexually

with them? C’mon, let’s be real here! If He would, He’s not the Jesus I read

about in the Bible, so I might as well throw the whole thing out and become an


So as you can see, even when looking at things in a totally logical

analytical way, I figure it’s a win-win situation! Not that we should be looking

at things analytically, but occasionally when my faith has been tested and

tried, it has helped me to break things down like this and find that indeed I am

doing the right thing by placing my trust in Dad, Mama and Peter.

So in writing about Mama and Peter, and the accusations that James

(and others) make against them, my comments are built on the foundation that I

trust Mama and Peter. That’s really what it comes down to in the end, doesn’t

it? Now James might say that I’m just following blindly, but trust is not blind

acceptance. Rather, trust is something that is built up over time as a result of

events or interaction in which you know the person to be truthful, honest,

loving, and worthy of that trust. My experiences in the Family for years, and

then living and working with Mama and Peter, have resulted in that trust being

built up. It was not an overnight thing, but rather came about as I saw

firsthand their sample of love for Jesus, and became convinced of their love and

concern for the Family and for the lost.

I think it’s that last point that has made the biggest impression on

me. I have had a lot of discussions with Peter about Family policy, or certain

situations, and he always shows a great deal of concern for each Family member,

and how such and such a policy is going to affect them. He makes it clear that

our job as leaders in the Family is to serve the folks in each Home, to help

them fulfill their calling of serving the Lord. Yes, I am a servant. But I’m not

a servant to Mama and Peter, even though I work for them. Ultimately I’m a

servant to Jesus and the Family, and that’s what Mama and Peter are too. You

know the Letter, “Without Love It’s Nothing”? Well, the love and concern that

Dad shows for the Family in that Letter expresses very well how I’ve seen Peter

operate.-And Mama too, of course. I’m just talking more about Peter because I

work with him more closely than I do Mama. His sample is very convicting in that


It’s very evident in the regular counsel meetings that Peter and

Matthew and I have together that Peter carries the responsibility of co-leading

the Family with Mama very seriously, and it’s a heavy weight on his shoulders.

He and Mama do it because the Lord has given them this job and they love Him and

don’t want to fail Him, and because they really care about each Family member. I

know from talking with them that their goal is to give their lives so that we

all can serve the Lord better. As a result of their sample, that has become my

goal as well.

But I know for a fact that they would not want the job if it was just

for their own benefit or gratification. I see what they do, I know what their

job entails, and believe me, as young and ambitious a person as I am, I would

not want the job. It’s a horrible weight! Just the knowledge that about 13,000

people around the world are looking to you for direction and the Lord’s Words,

plus the practical side of running such a multi-faceted organization such as we

have in the Family with the needs of so many different people to

consider-children, parents, singles, single parents, teens, outside sheep,

catacombers, etc.-is frightening! And then on top of it to have people attacking

you for it and persecuting you! I’m amazed that they don’t have a nervous

breakdown! I guess it’s just their faith in the Lord that He’s in control.

Speaking of Mama, I have never in my life seen someone work as hard as

she does. She is a living example of a shepherd laying down her life for the

sheep (despite James’ claims to the contrary). I consider myself to be a hard

worker, but I don’t hold a candle to Mama. Her life is her work, and her work is

100% devoted to helping the Family, answering people’s questions, going over the

pubs, praying about and for situations that need help. I like to take days off,

have fun, play games, watch movies, etc., but she doesn’t do any of that-well,

hardly ever. I wish she would take more time off! I have to admit that at times

it’s even bothered me that she works so hard, because in my pride I’ve felt that

I have to match that, and I can’t. It would be interesting to calculate exactly

what her daily average of work hours is, but my estimate from living with her is

around 14-15 hours a day, 7 days a week. No matter what she’s doing, she’s

almost always got a taperecorder going and is listening to some work.

So what’s my point? My point is, why in the world would anyone work as

hard as Mama with so little in return? She and Peter are well established as the

leaders of the Family, just like Dad was before them. She could work less than

half as much as she does now, and the Family would keep on going and serving the

Lord without hardly a hiccup. So why do it? For money? I happen to know a bit

about the Family finances from working with Peter, and I know that what comes in

goes back out in services to the Family. So no money. Even our enemies know

that. For power? Just to feel in control? Just to get people’s adoration? People

in the System do push themselves very hard to get that sort of thing. But in

Mama’s case that logic doesn’t fit, because she could have all that with much

less effort on her part. If her motives were selfish, she wouldn’t push herself

to the limit for the Family like she does. Besides, she’s always pointing me to

Jesus, trying to get me to hear from Jesus personally, not to go to her for the

answers to things, but to go to Jesus. That’s not a “cult of the personality,”

it’s a “Jesus cult,” ha! I am therefore convinced, both from her words and her

deeds, that what motivates her is Jesus, pure and simple. Love for Jesus,

obedience to Jesus. “The love of Christ constraineth her.”

Here’s an example of this: There have been a couple of times over the

past few years when I’ve asked Mama about cutting down on the number of GNs that

we send out to the Family. Not because I feel there’s anything wrong with the

GNs, but it’s a heck of a lot of work to get them all out! It takes a real toll

on Mama, as well as on a few other very dedicated souls in our Home who help

her. Plus it costs money, is more work for the NPCs, etc. What do you think

Mama’s answer was each time we discussed it? “What about the folks who are

having battles about such-and-such and need some counsel on that subject?” “What

about the parents whose kids have left the Family and are in need of

encouragement and are desperate to know what the Lord has to say about it?”

“What about the young people who are faced with questions on what to do about

such-and-such?” “What about the bad samples in our Homes that need to be

addressed and corrected so that they can reflect more the spirit of Jesus?” And

so on. My thoughts were, “They’ll get by on a little less-let’s slow it down.”

(Now aren’t you glad that Mama doesn’t listen to everything her counselors tell

her? Ha!) But her response was along the lines of, “But if it will help them,

shouldn’t we give it to them while we have it beside us to give? Why wait if

they need the help now?”

There are so many different people in the Family and each has

different needs, and Mama tries as hard as she can to receive (through Peter and

her channels in our Home) and pass on the Lord’s counsel on those issues. And

sure enough, we get back responses to each of those GNs from someone, saying how

much it helped them and came at just the right time. And as far as Mama is

concerned, if it’s even just for that one person, then it’s worth it. And

there’s no one making her do it except the conviction of the Holy Spirit in her

heart. To me that is unquestionable proof of her love and devotion to all of us,

and the purity of her motives.

James says that Mama and Peter are, and I quote, “abusive,

controlling, manipulative, self-centered, deceitful, and callous leaders who

were willing to do just about anything to save their reputations and preserve

their image.” He says that he reached this conclusion after years of living and

working with them years ago. I didn’t live with them years ago, so I can’t speak

for then. So maybe five years ago, when I moved into their Home, Mama and Peter

had a miraculous conversion from being horrible people to the very loving and

concerned people that I’ve known-and continue to know-them to be. Likely? I

think not.

As far as being willing to do anything to preserve their own image,

that’s an easy one to disprove. If there was anything that risked destroying

Mama and Peter’s image, it was the Loving Jesus revelation. If they were selfish

and concerned about keeping the Family under tight control, being of good

reputation, etc., then publishing that revelation was the stupidest move they

could have ever made. And they’re far from stupid-even those who disagree with

them can attest to that. I was with them when they published the Loving Jesus

revelation and talked with them extensively about it (unlike James, who was not

living with them at the time). I even argued in favor of postponing publishing

it for the Family because I didn’t think that people could handle it. I have to

confess that I was more worried about their reputation than they were. But they

were convinced it was from the Lord, and therefore chose to “obey God rather

than man,” regardless of the consequences to their leadership or reputation. I

personally don’t know anyone else who would have had that kind of courage.

That’s why I’m proud of serving Jesus with them. They don’t compromise for

personal gain, no matter what the cost.

And the result? Sure, some people left the Family over the Loving

Jesus revelation, but our stats show that the Family’s population is still

growing. 1204 disciples, not counting babies born, have joined the CM Family

since the LJ revelation was published. Interestingly enough, that’s a 25%

increase over the 5 years prior to the LJ revelation, when only 964 new

disciples joined the CM Family. (I use CM stats in this example because people

joining the FM Family wouldn’t even necessarily know much about the LJ

revelation.) James, on the other hand, affirms that “no adult in his right mind

joins the Family anymore these days.” So in case you didn’t know it, all of you

who have joined the CM Family in the last few years are not in your right mind.

So maybe you were brainwashed into joining the Family. Oh yes, I forgot,

sociologists have disproved brainwashing. Uh, let’s see, maybe you were

love-bombed? Oh, right, we don’t allow sex with new disciples anymore, so

scratch that one. Let me see, could it be that you joined the Family to serve

Jesus? No, certainly not. No one in their right mind would want to serve Jesus,


Back to LJ. Despite the fact that some have left, I’ve read hundreds

of responses from Family members around the world saying how much it has helped

them. Last year we conducted an anonymous survey of 600 Family members (16 and

up) in South America, and 98.4% said that they accept or believe in the LJ

revelation. And 79.9% said that they practice it personally in some form. In

addition, 88% said that the LJ revelation has had either a “great” (55.7%) or

“some” (31.5%) improvement in their relationship with the Lord. So, were 600

people lying? To claim that a few might have fudged their anonymous

questionnaire I would accept, but 600? To what purpose?

So the numbers prove that the LJ revelation has had a positive

influence on the Family. Sure it’s radical. I don’t understand it all myself.

But who cares? Do I want to be closer to Jesus? Yes! If loving Jesus intimately

will help me reach that goal, then so be it! And like I said earlier, if it

turns out when I get to Heaven that I was deluded, I know the Lord will give me

credit for trying anyway!

James says that “Maria and Peter have debased the wonderful gift of

prophecy. They have twisted and manipulated prophecy to serve their own ends and

control the Family, so that it is difficult to believe any of their prophecies …

destroying its value by printing too much so that it becomes worthless.” He uses

the analogy of a currency losing its value through overprinting. The problem

with that analogy is that the reason a currency devalues when a government

prints too much of it is they don’t have enough gold or other hard assets to

back it up. And unlike gold or precious metals, Jesus never runs out; there’s an

unlimited supply of Him. Therefore, it’s not possible to dilute the value of

prophecy, no matter how much of it is used or published. To say that prophecy

can be diluted is tantamount to saying that Jesus is limited in His capacity to

speak, or that He’s not as all-powerful as we believe Him to be. That strikes at

the very heart of Christian belief.

As far as manipulation through prophecy, when I first started out

hearing from the Lord more, Mama was more involved. I wasn’t used to hearing

from the Lord about everything, and I needed a lot of prodding and

encouragement. I also needed to learn how to hear from the Lord-mostly about

really clearing my mind of my own thoughts in order to get the Lord’s mind on

the matter. Mama was a good teacher. But she didn’t dictate what I should be

getting from the Lord. In time I became more used to hearing from the Lord about

things without her having to remind me. Now, when a work question comes up that

I’m responsible for, I go to the Lord and ask Him for His answer. Mama doesn’t

even know about most of those prophecies because they are about minor issues

regarding my day-to-day work and decisions. That’s a far cry from manipulation.

There have been a couple of times when Mama and Peter have given me prophecies

that talked pretty straightforwardly about my NWOs. They were difficult for me

to receive. But the reason is not because they were untrue, but because I’m a

proud guy and it’s sometimes hard to admit to myself the areas I need to change

and grow in. Were they using prophecy to manipulate me or berate me into

submission? No. They could have sat down and told me the same things in their

own words, but instead someone had prayed and gotten it from the Lord. What

difference does it make? It was true either way.

What about the accusations of the total control that Mama and Peter

exercise over those in WS, and by extension, the Family? That they suffer no

dissent or difference of opinion? Over the years that I’ve lived with Mama and

Peter, I have had quite a few differences of opinion with them. I’ve discussed a

lot of issues with them-little issues, big issues. I’ve always found Mama and

Peter willing to listen. It’s one of the things that amazes me the most about

them, their willingness to listen despite being very, very busy. They never blow

me off.

Three or four days ago, Peter was getting ready to go on a trip and

was very busy with last-minute prep. Despite that, he took about two hours to

talk with me about some things. In the course of our conversation I asked him a

couple of pretty heavy questions regarding past Family policies. Most people

would have been very hesitant to ask those questions. It’s no credit to me that

I did ask-it’s just that I know Peter (and Mama) well enough to know that his

response would be prayerful and loving, not defensive or retaliatory, not

cutting me down or accusing me of being “disloyal” or “unyielded.” He encouraged

me to share my heart, answered my questions, we talked about it and discussed

it. I made some suggestions that someone who was used to “being kept in line

with a great deal of fear” (as per the “Gospel According to St. James”), and who

was used to being “manipulated, controlled, bullied and belittled,” would not in

a million years have dared to make! But Peter took it in stride and was very

open to what I had to say, and we talked about it quite openly.

If there’s one thing that Peter and Mama have encouraged me in the

most, it’s to share my heart with them about things that bother me, things that

I have questions about or I don’t agree with. Just in that conversation Peter

and I had a few days ago, he again asked me to please be open with them about

anything that’s on my heart.

So, far from being closed off to what others have to say and trying to

control them and their actions, Peter and Mama are extremely open to others. In

fact, they are some of the least sensitive people I know in that regard. I think

most people, myself included, would have a hard time with all the suggestions

and constructive criticism that they get-not to mention the unconstructive

criticism from those who dislike them. I don’t think I could take it like they

do, much less encourage it. They are shining examples in that area.

That’s not to say that they always agree with what everyone says. Like

I said, I’ve had differences of opinion with them, and we discuss things

together and pray about them. I (or others, as the case may be) make my

proposals of what I believe should be done, but the final decision is theirs.

Sometimes they’ll go with it but sometimes they don’t. And that’s their

prerogative as the top leaders with the ultimate responsibility for the effects

of their decision.

It’s the same in any company or organization, and there’s nothing evil

or sinister about it. A company CEO will consult with his VPs (vice-presidents)

and advisors, but when it comes down to it, he has to make the final decision

and bear the responsibility for it. And once the decision is made, the VPs’

responsibility is to make sure that decision is carried out to the best of their

ability. If it’s a big decision that they feel is wrong, they can appeal it, and

if the CEO stands firm in his decision, they can resign in protest if they

choose. It’s the same with me. There have been times (though not often), where I

didn’t agree with the final decision. But I know that I’m not always right, and

just because I don’t agree with something doesn’t mean that it’s wrong. I’ve

learned to trust the Lord in these cases.

A perfect example is the LJ revelation-I was worried that the Family

wouldn’t handle it and it could even cause serious division in the ranks. Time

showed the contrary to be true.

James writes, “I sometimes wonder how many Family members are

sincerely proud of all the Family’s present-day beliefs and practices.” Well, I

am for one! The Family has its faults, and there are things that I would like to

see change, and that are changing. We’re learning as we go. Show me something

better and I’ll go there. But so far no one has shown me anything better. So,

yes, I’m proud of what we’ve done and what we’re doing today for Jesus. And to

be honest with everyone reading this, no offense intended, but I don’t really

care whether the other 12,999 members are proud of the Family or not.

I’m not proud of the Family because 12,999 other people are proud of

the Family, I’m proud of it because I know for a fact that despite our many

faults and mistakes, we are trying to serve the Lord the best we know how, to be

a sample of His love, and fulfill His commandment to “go into all the world and

preach the Gospel to every creature.” And, if you don’t mind, speaking to my

peers in the Family, that’s why you should be in the Family too. If the

accusations of some former member make you ashamed of being in the Family, then

please go do something else with your life.

If as James-the new self-appointed spokesperson for Family

SGAs-claims, “Many, especially SGAs, have consciously decided to ignore the

doctrinal weirdness and simply use the Family infrastructure to carry out

‘Consider the Poor’ ministries,” then please go use someone else’s

infrastructure instead. If all you need is infrastructure, there are a lot

better ones than ours out there, with a lot more people and money to help you do

what you want to do. (Of course, if James’ claim was true, then why don’t those

SGAs who leave the Family and who say they feel this way join some other groups?

I haven’t heard of any joining the Peace Corps, Red Cross or some similar

outfit.) Sorry, I don’t mean to be harsh, but that’s honestly how I feel about


That’s not to say that I’m so super strong and have never thought of

leaving the Family. Actually, I have battled with leaving the Family a number of

times. But it wasn’t because I thought what the Family was doing was so wrong

and that I was going to “escape” and do something better with my life. I might

have used that as an excuse, but inside my heart I knew that the reason I was

thinking of leaving was because I wanted to live for myself for a while, make

some money, do something a little easier than “laying down my life for the

brethren,” take a break and see what the System was really like.

I am convinced, however, that despite whatever problems, difficulties,

sacrifices or oddities living in the Family may present, the Family is the place

for me. And I can’t think of any two people more dedicated, prayerful, in love

with the Lord, and concerned for each and every Family member than Mama and

Peter. I gladly stand by and support them as the Lord’s appointed Family

leadership, and I can testify to seeing this anointing manifested daily in their

loving care for both you and me.

They Do Really Care!

-The truth about living with Dad, Mama and Peter

By Rose, Mama’s Home

My reaction when I hear these terrible accusations against Dad, Mama

and Peter is that it makes me mad, sad and definitely not glad! The parts I’ve

read have really made me upset, as they are for sure not true. Everything that

is quoted to be the life of living with Dad, Mama and Peter is just the

opposite! There just isn’t any comparison! I thought I’d tell you a little of

how it really is to live with them.

I came to live as a fulltime staff member with Dad, Mama and Peter in

1991, about 3½ years before Dad went to be with the Lord. (The first time I

lived with them was in 1987 for seven months.) At this time, since Dad was

getting older and needed more help, I was gradually with him fulltime and was

his nurse and helper until the moment the Lord took him Home. During the time

I’ve lived on the staff I have gotten to know Dad, Mama and Peter quite well and

been with them on a daily basis. I’ve been with them and around them and have

been partaking of their daily lives plenty over the months and years. Because I

go in and out of their room often, I’m often privy to the things they talk about

or the private conversations they’re having. In the course of helping and

serving them, I have naturally been around at different times when they have

talked to people or about situations and personal matters, or made comments

about people, and there is nothing that has stumbled me or come across as

unloving or harsh. I can truly say and testify that they are the most wonderful

and loving people I’ve ever known! They make you feel so appreciated and needed.

To say that they belittle and abuse people is something that I certainly don’t

understand, as nothing is farther from the truth!

I’ll start off with going back to the days living with Dad and give

you a few examples. I have very specific memories of Dad and his unending

thoughtfulness and unselfish care.

I remember clearly how he always used to pray for me at the end of the

day and tell me how thankful he was for me. He would always ask me if there was

anything that I needed. Here he was, often very sick and weak, couldn’t eat much

and not feeling well, and he would ask me how I was doing, if I lacked anything.

Such a sample of the Lord’s love of thinking of others instead of himself. I

often cried in thankfulness, being touched by feeling the Lord’s love and

concern through Dad.

For example, there were times when he was very ill and sick, and he

would get out of bed because he wanted to share the Lord’s love and messages

with us in a meeting. He then would ask us all how we felt, if any of us were

sick or weak or in need of prayer. He checked if we were comfortable during the

meetings, not too hot or cold. If anyone felt tired, he suggested they go and

rest. It was like watching a miracle, as the Lord would anoint him so for the

meeting and give him such supernatural strength and stamina which just wasn’t

there in the beginning. You knew it was the Lord’s power and blessing through

Dad thinking on the Lord and others above his own self. So to say that Dad was

selfish, I just cannot understand at all.

Dad was always very concerned about each and every one of us on the

staff. He would not rest until he knew that we were all okay, and would go way

out of his way to make sure that everyone was happy and fulfilled. If there were

any problem situations that needed help, he would counsel and do all he could to


Not only was Dad concerned about us all, but he also had a tremendous

love and care for each and every one he came in contact with when out. He showed

appreciation and love to all, from beggars and waiters and waitresses, to

dentists and doctors-yes, to everyone. He was a faithful witnesser, always

lifting up the Lord! He would point his finger up to Heaven and always make it

clear that it’s all glory to God and nothing in himself. Over and over he would

emphasize that it was all the Lord. He didn’t like it when people tried to give

him the glory. People would feel the Lord’s Spirit and would be drawn to him in

admiration for the sample of the Lord’s love that he showed. He was sure a

testimony in everything that he did and said. He taught us when we were out to

really care about the ones we came in contact with and be good testimonies to


Dad carried the Lord’s message to us all, whether in the Family or out

in the System, and even preached the Gospel to the animals and cared for them.

He cared about any animal he encountered, and it was a great sample to me how he

respected all living things and had a heart for everyone.

I must say that Dad was one of the most unselfish people I know! (The

other two I’m thinking of are Mama and Peter.) He would give the clothes off his

back and food off his plate to anyone who needed it. He never wasted anything,

and that was really one of his strong points, to give! There just isn’t any way

you could call him selfish or inconsiderate. So many times it would make you so

convicted to see his sample, and it sure made me pray to be more like him, which

is of course what being more like Jesus is.

This is how Dad was until the day the Lord took him Home. He even

wanted to go house hunting that very day, to help find us all a better place to

live. His thoughts were of others, even until his earthly end! The Lord sure

gave him a better place to live, and I’m so thankful that the Lord now has freed

him from the flesh and taken him into the Heavenlies with Him where I know his

rewards are great. And now he can continue helping us from the spirit and lead

and guide and teach us!

Right now I’m using Dad as an example, but the same is absolutely true

of Mama and Peter. I know that we all strive for more appreciation in our lives

with each other, but I must say that I am eternally thankful for the time that

I’ve had living with Dad, Mama and Peter, as I’ve experienced appreciation like

never before, and seen true-to-life examples of how they care for the “little


I guess being on the staff, I’ve often thought of myself as a little

person, as I don’t have a specialized pubs ministry calling, but have worked

more as a caretaker, cook, maid, done some secretarial work, etc. But one thing

I would like to say is how Dad, Mama and Peter have always made me feel so

appreciated and valued, and how they have never made me feel lower than anyone

else. You experience an unconditional love, which gives you faith and

encouragement to go on.

Another way that I can tell how concerned they are about others is how

they value each person that they hear about or are in contact with. It really

doesn’t matter if it concerns a CRO or a VS or a member of our Home or another

Home anywhere. They look at each person as a precious, priceless soul that the

Lord has created, and are concerned about each and every one.

One of the most precious ways to see this is how they pray for these

people. They can hear or read about someone, and they will immediately stop and

ask the Lord to bless that person, or ask the Lord to help them if there is a

problem, or heal them if they are sick, etc. I’m reminded of the verses that

says that not one little sparrow shall fall to the ground except the Lord knows

and allows it, and how each hair of our head is counted. This is how precious

each one is to Mama and Peter.

Oftentimes when we have prayer at our mealtimes, Mama will call us on

the intercom and remind us to pray for so-and-so and for such-and-such a

situation. She and Peter are both such samples of believing in prayer and having

the faith that the Lord will answer any petition, whether they’re for our Home

situation or for someone across the world, no matter how simple or complicated

something can be. You just know that nothing is too hard for the Lord.

A beautiful sample of Mama and Peter’s love for us all is how

concerned they are about everyone’s health and well-being. There has never gone

a day but that they will ask how everyone is doing and feeling. If there are any

health prayer requests, they will pray for that person and then also follow up

later, asking others to pray too and check and see if they’re getting better. It

can be as simple as a headache or a stomachache or a dentist check-up, but

nothing is too small for them to be concerned about. If there is anything of a

serious nature, we are often called upon to do prayer vigils, and usually

someone-or some ones-ask the Lord for encouragement and help for that person. I

know that I have been taught some good lessons in being my brother’s and

sister’s keeper, and it often convicts me to take time to pray and be concerned

about others.

I have witnessed, and still do, countless occasions day by day, Mama

and Peter taking time with people and situations, often sacrificing their time

and schedule and health and going out of their way to help out in whatever the

need is, in counseling, praying, etc. I have seen many lives changed because

they took time to help someone in need. There are numerous people who can

testify that Mama and Peter helped to pull them through when they needed it.

I only had a short time of experience working under System bosses

before I joined, as I was a student, but I must say that of anyone I have ever

worked under, there is just no comparison to working under Dad, Mama and Peter.

There are many wonderful Family leaders and shepherds who follow in the way of

the sample that the Lord and Dad, Mama and Peter give. I do truly know that they

are the ones leading the way and teaching us all how to be loving samples and

shepherds to others.

One last thing I wanted to say is that I have never regretted the

calling that I heeded to come and work as the Folks’ staff member some years

ago, and I know I will continue doing it gladly as long as the Lord wants me to.

This has been one of my heart’s desires coming to pass in my life, and I know

that it’s a priceless opportunity and privilege, which I am truly thankful for.

So there is no need for you who read this to feel sorry for me, ha!

I pray that you will know the truth as you read this and other

testimonies. There is really no end of wonderful examples to share, but I pray

as you get a little glimpse through these paragraphs, that you will also be able

to partake of the wonderful truth about the life of Dad, Mama and Peter. They

love each one of us so and really give their lives for us daily. It seems that

the least we can do for them is to stand up for them and the truth and resist

the Enemy and his lies. We really owe them and Jesus so much for all they’ve

done and sacrificed for us! Fighting for the truth seems such a small token of

our love for them and the Lord, but it’s worth it! Let’s do it! I love you!

They Are My Friends

By James, Mama’s Home

I joined Dad and Mama’s Home in January 1992. Until that time, my main

ministry in the Family had been witnessing, and I had spent most of my time on

different mission fields. I had always considered myself a field person and

loved to be on outreach. In November of ‘91 I was invited to help out at a

Summit Meeting doing staff work, and right after the meetings were over I was

invited to WS. I thought that I would be going to another unit, but to my

surprise I went directly to Dad’s Home! At that time it was unusual for someone

to go directly to the Folks’ Home from the field, but there was a need at the

time and I was available, so off I went.

Before this I had never seriously considered going to WS, and I didn’t

really know what to expect. I guess I was expecting the Home to be very tight,

full of rules and do’s and don’ts, but was relieved to find out that I was

wrong! There were actually less rules and schedules than almost any Home I had

ever been in! It was a small Home, only about 12 at the time, but we all pitched

in and worked together well. There was a lot of unity, and we had a lot of fun.

I started working closely with Dad right after I got to the Home. We

were staying on a farm at the time, and Dad was involved with a number of

handyman and farm-related projects, so I began to work with him on a daily

basis. Even after we left the farm, I continued working closely with Dad right

up to the day he passed away.

It’s hard for me to explain what it was like being with Dad, and

knowing and working with him closely. He was a father and a friend to me. He was

young-spirited with lots of new ideas, but he was also the voice of wisdom and

experience and a real sample of prayerfulness. At first I was quite nervous

about meeting and working with him, but after the first day or two my fears

quickly vanished. I felt very comfortable with him and enjoyed being with him.

I’ve often thought about what it’s going to be like when we meet the Lord. I

think we’re going to find Him so loving and warm and we’re going to be so

comfortable with Him that we’re going to want to be around Him all the time!

Well, that’s kind of the way it was with Dad. I loved working with him, going

out with him, sitting in his classes, and just being with him.

When I think about my times with Dad, many different experiences and

stories flood my mind. For example, just a few days after I joined the staff,

Dad and the other handyman were working on a building project and they wanted to

get an early start, and Dad invited me to join them if I felt up to it. So I

showed up bright and early in the morning and ready to work. Dad was a bit

surprised as he thought I was going to sleep in. (Both Dad and Mama have always

been concerned that we get enough sleep and rest.) Dad told me that I didn’t

need to get up so early, and then he said, “Son, contrary to what others may

think, this is a voluntary army.” Meaning that he didn’t want me to feel

pressured, or feel that I had to work if I was tired and needed to rest. There

was a genuine concern and care for people, that no one was overworked or didn’t

get enough rest.

At the same time we worked hard, but a lot was left up to our own

initiative. When we were given a project to do, or if we were responsible for

something in the Home, then we were expected to pray and come up with ideas and

to do it. The Folks wanted people to think for themselves; they didn’t want to

have to tell us how to do every little thing. They wanted us to see the need and

respond, and they wanted it to come from the heart. And that’s the way the Home

was run; everyone was expected to take initiative and do their part.

Dad also had a lot of faith, but he was understanding of others who

didn’t have as much faith as he did. I remember how I needed to hammer a nail

into a wooden frame that was adjacent to a large pane of glass. I was afraid

that the glass would shatter or crack from the vibrations, so I was gently

tapping in this nail and being ever so careful. Dad was there watching me do

this, and after awhile said, “Son, let me do that.” And he took the hammer and

boldly pounded the nail with just a few strokes and the glass was fine. Then he

just laughed and said, “You see, you just need more faith!”

Another time I was painting the outside of the house and Dad was

holding the ladder for me. I had to paint the top edge of the house, so I had my

paint bucket on the top of the roof. Dad suggested I balance the bucket on the

top rung of the ladder, as it would be closer to me that way. So I tried it, but

I wasn’t so sure of doing it that way, as I was afraid that the bucket would

fall. Dad right away noticed that and said, “Son, you’re the one that’s

painting, so put the bucket wherever you feel comfortable with it; it’s

according to your faith.” And that’s the way Dad was, he would sometimes give

ideas and suggestions, but he expected us to operate according to our own faith.

During the last couple years of Dad’s life, his body had grown quite

weak. He especially had a hard time walking long distances as he would become

weary quickly. His mind was very much alert and he would still want to go places

and do things, but his body just couldn’t keep up with his mind. So towards the

end we would push Dad around in a wheelchair, and that way he could get out and

about and not get tired. He never did lose that pioneering spirit!

Anyhow, Dad was always trying to improve things and find a better way,

and he wasn’t afraid to try something new, even if it seemed a bit wild. So

talking about wild ideas, he had the idea to replace his thin wheelchair tires

with thick mountain bike tires, so he could have a smoother ride. It wasn’t easy

to do this, as the spokes and the hub were all different, but after a few

modifications, we succeeded. The only problem was that the mountain bike tires

were a bit higher than the original ones, so the back end of the wheelchair was

slightly raised, and the seat sloped downwards a bit. But we decided to go on a

test ride to see how it would work.

It was working just fine until I hit a dip in the road, which caused

us to come to an abrupt halt-and because of the slope of the seat, Dad went

sliding right off the front and landed on the ground! I just stood there, dazed

and shocked, as I felt Dad must’ve been hurt for sure. But he just calmly said,

“Well, Son, are you going to just stand there, or are you going to help me up?”

As it turned out, Dad wasn’t hurt at all, and actually thought it was quite

funny. He used to joke with me about that afterwards and say things like, “Why

did you throw me off the wheelchair that day?” That’s another thing I liked

about Dad, he had a sense of humor.

But perhaps what I remember most and liked the best about Dad was his

outgoing love and concern for others. We in the Home felt and experienced this

love, but it wasn’t just with us, he was that way with others too. When we took

him out in the wheelchair he would always be kind to people he’d meet and was a

faithful witness as well. I remember in particular this one elderly lady who we

kept running into. She was quite poor and Dad would always say hi to her and

give her a small donation, and make her feel loved and special. She loved Dad

and would just light up whenever she would see him. But there was a period of a

couple of months when we didn’t see her.

Then one day we ran into her again at a small café. Dad was so happy

to see her and right away asked me for some money. Then he got out of his

wheelchair, which took a lot of effort for him, walked over to this lady, put

the money in her hands and gave her a kiss on her cheek. I was watching the

lady’s face, and immediately tears came to her eyes (and mine as well), as she

was so touched that this man would be so sweet and loving to a little old nobody

like her. But that’s the way Dad was. Everyone was important to him, and he

seemed to be extra loving and sweet to those little nobodies who really needed

love and encouragement.

Shortly after this, Dad passed away. This lady was so sad when she

heard the news and asked us if she could have a picture of him to remember him

by. She then prayed with us and received the Lord in her heart.

After Dad passed away, I remember wondering what would happen to our

Home. I always felt that Dad was the radical one; he always loved change and

doing new things. Mama was the more cautious one, and I thought that things were

going to be boring without Dad around, ha! It’s funny when I think back about

those things now, as Mama definitely inherited Dad’s mantle and there have been

lots of changes!

Things have changed after Dad passed away, just like the Lord said

they would in all those “New Day” prophecies. Our Home, and WS in general, has

changed a lot since then. For one, we have a lot of young people in WS now, and

they sure make our Homes fun and exciting. I can’t imagine what WS would be like

without them! But our Home, and the other WS units, had to change and adapt when

we started to take in young people. We couldn’t operate the way we had in the

past, because if you know young people, they need change and variety and

excitement in their lives. It’s not like we didn’t have fun before, but it was

different with just FGAs in our Home. FGAs can sit for long hours at their desk

and find fulfillment and challenge from their work, but SGAs need more than

that. They do very well with their work, but they generally need more changes,

activities, fellowship, etc., than the FGAs. So our WS Homes have changed a lot

over the last five or six years.

Sometimes I hear things that some former WS members have said or

written about their life in WS, and it really makes me wonder. Some of these

people I know, but I also know that they haven’t lived with Dad or Mama and

Peter since I’ve been on the staff, and that’s going on nine years now! To me

it’s like someone saying, “Yes, I know about computers, I used to work with them

ten years ago.” Well, a lot has changed since the days of 286’s! And if you

haven’t continued working with computers, then you have no idea of the progress

and incredible changes that have taken place, and how the computer world is very

different now than it was back then! It’s like these guys are living in the

past, and they don’t really have the scoop of what it’s like now.

That’s one thing that I love about Mama and Peter-they’re probably the

newest bottles of us all! They’re always willing to try and do something new,

which is evidenced by all the changes and new moves that have been happening in

the spirit. But I must admit that some of these changes have been difficult for

me as well. The “Loving Jesus” revelation and some of the New Wine was hard for

me to swallow and receive at first. But I feel I have an advantage over a lot of

people in the Family, because I know Mama and Peter well, and have lived and

worked with them for years now. I know how much they love the Lord and how

sincere they are, and how desperate they are to follow Him closely. I’ve seen

how prayerful they are and how they don’t make a move without making sure it is

the Lord’s will. So it’s easier for me to trust the Lord and accept these

things, because I know the “source.” It’s easier for me to trust that the fruit

will be good as I know the tree.

I’ve often felt if people could know them like I do, it would help to

alleviate or erase any doubts or questions they may have. I sometimes feel if I

was still on the field and I heard some of those accusations about Mama and

Peter and WS, I wonder how I would receive it. I’m no spiritual giant, and I

could easily get hit with doubts or questions and begin to wonder if those

things are true. It’s just the Lord’s mercy that He placed me where I am, and

I’m very thankful for that. But I also feel it’s a responsibility, because very

few people know the Folks in such a personal way like I do, so I feel I need to

speak up to help set the record straight.

It’s as if you have a close friend, and this friend is being accused

of all sorts of things, but you know that these things they’re being accused of

aren’t true, as you’ve lived with that person and have known him for many years.

Wouldn’t you feel that you needed to speak up on their behalf? Well, if you

didn’t, I wouldn’t consider you much of a friend.

Well, Mama and Peter are my friends, and I know them well. Not only

have I lived with them for years, but I’ve also worked closely with them. I feel

I can talk to them about anything. I often share my thoughts and ideas with

them, and I come up with some pretty wild and far- out ones, but I don’t

hesitate to share them even if they are kind of wild, as I know they’re very

open to ideas and suggestions and they believe in counseling. And I appreciate

their counsel very much. I know that they will prayerfully consider and discuss

and pray about issues, and I’ve learned over the years that they’re usually


I’ve gone on different trips with both of them. I was able to travel

with Peter on his visitation trips to both the Far East and to South America.

For the past year-and-a-half I’ve helped to shepherd their Home, so I’ve been in

many meetings with them and in close communication with them. I know how they

work and I know how they are. I know how they treat people. And this is what I

like the best about them-the patience and love and faith that they have in

people. They’re very concerned about each and every one of us. They live their

whole lives for us. Nearly every waking hour Mama is either listening to tapes,

or going over the pubs, or praying and discussing with different ones, doing all

she can for us. Peter is also constantly pouring out and holding meetings and

doing all he can, to the point that he often becomes weakened and worn out


I’ve been in meetings where they’ve talked about personnel, and I’ve

been amazed at how much patience and love and faith they have in people.

Sometimes I tend to feel frustrated about people or situations, but the Folks

seem to have an unlimited amount of love and patience. But their love and

concern pays off, and it’s manifested in the lives of those who know them well.

A number of people have joined the staff and a number of others have visited

over the years, and I think they can all testify that their lives have been

touched in a special way. I look back to how some of the young people were when

they first joined our staff, and how they’ve grown and matured and have become

so deep in the Lord, and it’s a beautiful thing. They’re happy and fulfilled and

doing a great work.

Sure, Mama encourages us all to pray and hear from the Lord and use

the new weapons, but again that’s part of her love for us. She knows that if

people do that, then they will be closer to the Lord and will be happier too.

And I can also testify of that from a shepherding viewpoint. When people do get

on board, they’re more inspired and have more joy of the Lord. They still have

battles, of course-everyone does-but they hear from the Lord and He speaks to

them wonderfully and gives them words of comfort and guidance and encouragement,

and shows them the path to victory. And as a shepherd, that makes my job a lot

easier, ha!

On the trips I’ve gone on, I’ve seen individuals or Homes or even

areas who weren’t so on board, and I’ve seen that these same ones were

uninspired, and struggling both materially and spiritually. Whereas I’ve been to

places where people have really tried to live the Letters and I’ve seen His

blessings on their lives and Homes. So of course the Folks encourage us all to

get on board and do our best for the Lord, as they love us and they know that

this is for our own good and benefit.

When I first prayed about writing this, the Lord reminded me of the

story of the blind man in the Bible who was healed when Jesus put clay on his

eyes and asked him to wash in the pool of Siloam (John Chapter 9). The Pharisees

who were there saw the miracle, but they still accused Jesus of being a

“sinner,” and they tried to persuade the people that He was not even of God. But

to the man it was obvious by the good that had happened in his life that Jesus

was a prophet. I have seen miracles of good fruit happen in my life and in the

lives of many others, so it’s quite obvious to me that Mama and Peter are of the

Lord. And I hope the experiences that I have shared with you will help to give

you a little clearer picture of what it’s like living with them.

(End of file.)