FSM 357

From XFamily - Children of God
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OUR side: In Defense of our Faith, Family, and Lifestyle, Part 6

FSM 357 CM/FM 09/00

From Someone Who Knows!

By Gabe, of Amy, WS

I didn’t come to the Folks’ house to help write or edit pubs. I came because I had the gift of helps and I loved to serve. I was very happy in my ministry. I cooked Dad’s food for seven years. I made his bed for 12 years. I enjoyed my ministry.

Eventually, because of the gifts the Lord had given me, combined with the training I had received from Dad and Mama, the Lord called me to be a shepherd. That is what I have done for the last 12 years.

I would venture to say I spent more time with Dad than anyone else besides Mama. I joined the staff in 1981 and was there in 1994 when Dad took his last breath. The reason I spent so much time with him was because I cooked for him; I brought him his food; I was his handyman, his driver. I even slept in the same room with him at times when he was extremely sick and Mama was exhausted and needed extra rest. I know Dad. I continue to feel his presence in my life every day. When I drive, I hear his voice cautioning me just as he did when he was sitting in the back seat. When I do handyman work, I hear his voice reminding me to pray. His training continues to play a big part in my life, and I’m thankful for that.

Because of all the time I spent with Dad, and knowing him on such an intimate basis, I of course saw him at his good times and bad times. I could tell you many things he did that proved his imperfection, but can also testify that he loved the Lord above all and gave all of himself and his life and strength to serve the Family. I know Dad had a sincere love for the Lord, as well as a fear of failing Him. This is why he passed on every message and revelation that he received. He knew that many of the things that the Lord gave him were going to be difficult for some people, but his love and reverence for the Lord motivated him to do what he had to do.

When I joined the staff back in 1981, in South Africa, there were 10 people on the staff. There was Dad and Mama, Peter, Joy, Sara, Alf, Pearl, Dora, James Penn, and myself. I’m happy to say that all of these people, except for James, are still going strong for the Lord. They’re all serving the Lord in some capacity in the Family.

I was saddened when I heard about James leaving the Family. I was very close to him for many years. His and others’ decisions to leave the Family have helped me understand what you young people feel when your friends, brothers or sisters leave the Family. Of course, each person has to make his own choice; that is part of the Lord’s plan and something Dad and Mama have tried to teach us.

When James decided to write his negative point of view, it saddened me even more. James was at one time a dedicated David’s Mighty Man and a big help to Dad and Mama on many occasions. I don’t want to argue James’ points one by one, but I will tell you what I know to be the truth about Mama and Peter, and the choice is yours as to who you will believe.

Keep Your Eyes on the Lord

Dad was human. He had weaknesses, but he was honest about them. For example, Dad was very honest about his weakness for alcohol, which he confessed to the whole Family in “MY CONFESSION!-I Was an Alcoholic!” (ML #1406). I’m happy to say that the last three years of Dad’s life, he didn’t drink any alcohol. Anybody who knows anything about alcoholism can recognize that that is a total miracle. Of course, Dad wasn’t an alcoholic in the true sense of the word because most alcoholics desire to drink constantly. Dad did not drink during the day and only drank in the evenings, when he woke up in the middle of the night, and when he couldn’t sleep or was trying to go to sleep. In my opinion, this isn’t a true alcoholic; nevertheless, Dad felt it was a weakness. He also felt it was necessary to be honest with you, his Family, about his weaknesses. The main reason he wanted to share his weaknesses with you is so that you would know he was human and that you wouldn’t look to him, but rather you’d look to the Lord. I can’t possibly count how many times Dad reminded us around him to look to the Lord and not to him. He did so constantly.

Mama and Peterare also human. They have their personal weaknesses just like you and me, but they’re also honest about them. Like Dad, they also have constantly reminded us to look to the Lord.

Many people are thankful to Dad and Mama because of their love for the Lord and the decisions they made to make the Family possible. It’s like that verse, “By one man’s obedience many were made righteous.” Because of Dad’s faith and obedience to the Lord, he was used of the Lord to start the Family. Lots of people are very thankful to Dad and Mama, and now Mama and Peter, for their continued love for the Lord. This is natural, but the thing Dad, and now Mama and Peter, have tried over and over to stress to us is to not look to them, but to the Lord.

Way back in 1982 when the Family was sending Dad their videos of their marvelous works around the world, we were sitting with Dad watching a video of our Family. One Family member on this video was expressing his love and appreciation for Dad so exuberantly and enthusiastically that Dad felt he was giving too much credit and glory to Dad rather than the Lord. So Dad paused the video in frustration and explained to us, “You guys have to realize that if anything good gets done, it’s the Lord. You have to give credit to the Lord. You can’t give credit to me.” He said, “What has to happen? Do I have to get sick; do I have to die? If you guys are going to give me the credit, then I’m going to have nothing but problems. You’ve got to remember to give the credit to the Lord, and this is very, very important. Now, I want you to learn that lesson and I want you to learn it well.” Then he released the pause button and we continued to watch the Family video.

He also explained at that time that he had weaknesses and problems and made mistakes, but, he said, “As long as you guys continue to keep your eyes on the Lord, the Lord will not fail you and He won’t fail us. We’ve just got to keep our eyes on the Lord.”

The Bible says to desire not to be teachers, because unto you is the greater condemnation. The interpretation of “condemnation” in this verse is “judgment.”-There’s a greater judgment and more is expected of teachers, shepherds and leaders, so it’s important that you pray for them and do your part to keep your eyes on the Lord and not on them.

I think one reason why Mama has promoted prophecy so much is because she wants us to look to the Lord! As long as people are looking to the Lord, then they don’t look to man. Mama and Peter don’t put themselves up on pedestals as being “perfect.” Mama and Peter are like us. They’re doing their best to be a sample of Jesus, to be more like Him, and that’s certainly what is reflected in the Letters, and it’s also reflected in the Home, in their daily interactions, decisions, and discussions.

Because of my 14 years of working with Dad and 20 years of working with Mama and Peter, I could tell you lots of stories and anecdotes to illustrate the point that they are weak human beings, they need others, and they are very open to ideas, suggestions and the opinions of others. Anyone that is trying to control or manipulate someone else doesn’t confess their own weaknesses. There have been numerous times when Dad, Mama and Peter have confessed their faults before the body and asked for prayer. Some of those talks have been published; many of them haven’t. Nevertheless, Mama and Peter continue to come to their teamworkers and sometimes to the whole body when needed to ask for united prayer.

We who live with Mama and Peter see some of the times when maybe they’re tired, irritable, or simply “human,” but that doesn’t make what they publish not true, or of any less value. That doesn’t lessen their anointing as queen and king, or take away from the responsibility and anointing the Lord has given them as the leaders of our Endtime Family. They are human and they have human weaknesses-but they’re NOT like James says they are and makes them out to be. They are not manipulative, deceitful, cruel, uncaring, selfish or untruthful.

They are learning, as we all are. We all grow, we change, we revolute, and that’s what keeps giving us fire and life to keep serving Jesus. When you stop changing, then you die. In order to change things, you have to reassess, re-evaluate and look honestly at things in life. Mama and Peter do this regularly, and they do so with a lot of counsel with other shepherds, and lots of feedback from you, our dear Family. If they didn’t, our Family would have died out long ago.

The Dangers of Pride

Something that could cause people who know Mama and Peter well and who work closely with them to begin having problems is if those people fall prey to pride. The reason for this is that the Folks are very encouraging; they listen to people; they constantly solicit ideas and opinions and ask those around them for input. What happens then is that we around them get in the habit of being able to share anything with them, whether we agree or disagree with something. Once Mama and Peter hear our ideas, they may have some personal feelings on the matter, but what they do, pretty much without fail, is pray and take things to the Lord. It’s not that they don’t listen to people, it’s just that at some point they take the matter to the Lord. They obey God rather than man.

If we put forth suggestions-and I think for the most part many of our suggestions are taken, implemented and approved by the Lord-over time it becomes easy for you to expect to be not only listened to, but you expect that your suggestions will be taken, because many of them are. But what happens when they’re not? Then it’s easy, when you’re personally involved, to get a bit resentful and hurt. If this continues to grow and you maybe are not praying enough about your suggestions, a root of bitterness can begin to grow and cause you to blame those around you for what looks to you to be wrong decisions. Voila, a problem occurs, and you start labeling Mama and Peter as the “bad guys.” But check out the Word. Read up on bitterness. What is your experience with bitterness? How does it cloud issues? Who’s the villain here?

The sad thing is, sometimes little disagreements can fester or grow and cause somebody not just to disagree with Mama and Peter, but to let that disagreement lead them to the path of bitterness, and eventually they not only leave the path of serving the Lord in the Family, but they go down the path of not serving the Lord at all.

Mama and Peter Listen to Others

Some people say that Mama and Peter don’t listen, that they make all the decisions and call all the shots. I’ve heard this before, and from time to time, when things weren’t going the way I was hoping they would, I would tend to feel that way myself. When I did, I took it to the Lord and asked Him about it. Here’s what the Lord said to me:

“There are certain things that your shepherds, leaders, and prophets are obligated to do for Me. They realize the importance of counseling and they do counsel, as you know, but there are times when they have to do what I have shown them to do. This is their obligation to Me. This is their responsibility to Me. There were times when you even criticized your Father David for not taking your counsel, but he knew the seriousness of following Me and doing what I showed him to do. Now you see the wisdom in the way he operated.

“Even though you didn’t understand it at the time, you see now why he operated this way. When it comes down to it, this is what you admired him for. He bucked the System, went against the tide, and didn’t conform to convention and the norm. He told you that you could live without the System, and you believed him. He told you that you could forsake all and follow Me by faith, and you followed. He told you I would supply, and you saw miracles and testimonies of supply. This increased your faith to continue to follow and have faith. If you hadn’t followed and had faith, you would have missed so much. But you had to follow by faith.”

This little explanation from the Lord, even though short, helped me to understand and have faith.

WS Has Changed

WS has gone through a lot of changes in the last five years, especially with the infusion of a lot of young people. We no longer operate the way we used to. Things have changed. Dad has graduated. We’ve continued to progress. The dynamics of our WS Homes have changed dramatically over the last four or five years as we brought in more newcomers, and particularly more young people.

It’s very difficult for someone like James Penn to speak as an authority about the workings in the Folks’ house when he hasn’t been here for over 10 years! Believe me, things have changed so much. We’ve grown, changed, adapted, morphed in so many ways, in my opinion, for the better! Not that the old was wrong, but we’ve continued to move forward and change and revolute, TTL! Learning to work with the young people that came from the field in many instances, and learning to understand them and how to integrate our generations, now three under one roof, was a challenge, but I believe many of the things we learned in our transitions and mergers have helped our Family worldwide.

Certainly we’ve learned some things the easy way, and others the hard way, but the lessons we’ve learned have been shared through the Letters. The growth we’ve made as a Family is pretty evident, and the growth has not been towards more control by Mama and Peter, but more control over our lives by the Lord. I have experienced this growth in my personal life and in the lives of those in WS, as I’ve visited the various WS units during the past years and talked with and know each person in WS personally.

I shepherded Mama’s Home for 12 years, but a year and a half ago Amy and I were asked to help with the shepherding of another unit. When Amy and I moved to this other unit-which was a fledgling one-Mama trusted us to shepherd and organize the Home without her direct oversight. Not one time that I can remember did Mama get involved in the running of our Home. She could have called, she could have written letters. To me, the fact that she didn’t was commendation that we were doing a good job. She let us operate the Home the way we felt led. We as a Home made our own decisions, decided on our own schedule, set our own in-house goals and policies. As long as our Home members fulfilled their WS responsibility to produce the pubs in their court, Mama was content to leave the ins and outs of how we did it up to us and our Home. (I was never so glad for the gift of prophecy and the emphasis on hearing from the Lord for our situation!)

As a shepherd of a Home in WS-and as someone who hates to be poured into a mold-I have operated and worked independently of Mama and Peter. I don’t want to say it was independent of their oversight, because they were available for counsel whenever we needed it. But as far as them getting involved in the details of our Home and with the personnel of our Home, they did not get involved, except when we asked for counsel and advice on occasion. They figured we’d had several years of training, we were experienced in the new weapons, and they had faith in our channels and our abilities to shepherd. I’ve operated this way for a year and a half now.

Our Home has gone through transitions in the way we operate and do things since our young people came. I have changed, Amy has changed, our shepherding has changed, and our Home has changed. And our Home was Mama’s Home at the time these changes started. Mama and Peter were available for counsel and advice, but we made the adjustment and changes-and they were happy to let us. They didn’t try to control things or get involved with every facet of our lives.

Sincerity, not Manipulation

One of the accusations against Mama and Peter is that they try to manipulate the Family through prophecy. I can personally testify that Mama’s motive in asking the Lord questions and sharing His answers with you is not to manipulate you or to control you, but rather to seek for ways we can serve and love the Lord better.

Mama felt that we needed a closer and more intimate relationship with the Lord and asked Him if there was any way we could love Him more and express our love for Him, which resulted in the Loving Jesus revelation. Mama also asked the Lord if we needed to spend more time praising Him and loving Him, so our prayers wouldn’t constantly be petitions asking Him for things, but also thanking Him for our many blessings. As a result, the affection time/praise time revolution was born. She wanted to make sure that we weren’t resting on our laurels and coasting on our past training from Dad and the way we used to do things. She wanted to make sure we were operating according to how the Lord wanted us to operate today for our personal situations, hence, the emphasis on hearing from the Lord in prophecy individually.

All these various revolutions and revelations were born purely from the motive of loving the Lord and pleasing Him, not for manipulating our personalities and individual characteristics. Mama just loves the Lord-as Dad did-and she feels it’s her responsibility as the shepherdess of the Family to continually ask the Lord if there are any ways that we can love Him more or please Him or do a better job for Him. This is her job and she continues to abide in her calling.

Amy and I recently visited a chiropractor, as Amy sometimes has problems with her back. He was talking to us about the benefits of eating good healthy nutritious food. I explained that we try to do that, but some of the people we live with like white sugar or white flour products. (We don’t buy those products but still, there is the temptation for some people to want to eat them.) He explained to us, “Don’t buy it. Don’t make it available. Just tell them you can’t find it.” He gave us a stern lecture about the harmful effects of these things on your body. Here was a System person trying to get us to enforce some rules and regulations because he knows of the devastating effects junk food has on one’s body. Mama’s motive for trying to get us to take care of our bodies through proper get-out and eating right is because she’s concerned that we have healthy bodies to serve the Lord for a long period of time.

Mama’s motives for asking the Lord questions on various spiritual issues and even practical matters for the Family comes from her desire to love and please the Lord. She is a wise and loving shepherdess who doesn’t want us to fail the Lord in any aspect of our lives.

Mama and “Control”

Mama is concerned that we are doing the most we can do for the Lord. She is an efficiency expert and expects quality work out of people. She insists that you get the rest, exercise, and time off that you need, but also is an anointed motivator with an ability to get you to do your best for the Lord. Sometimes that might mean a little “meddling,” but it’s for the purpose of seeing to it that we’re getting the job done for the Lord that we need to do. It’s not a matter of her desire to control people personally. She has the interests of the Lord’s work at heart, and getting the work done means taking care of the workers.

Mama was very involved with the individuals in her Home at one time, but now those in her Home have largely learned to run and manage themselves, by seeking the Lord more and more. She certainly knows what’s going on and the state of her flock, but for the most part, the Home is run by shepherds who counsel with and inform Mama and Peter of how things are going. A lot of informing the Folks is done through the many personal prophecies that the Home members voluntarily send to Mama and Peter, which are evidence that people are seeking the Lord and asking Him how to go about things.

Mama has been like a parent in many ways. She got involved when she needed to, when we were young and “green” and didn’t really know what we were doing when it came to our work in WS or even areas in our spiritual lives and relationships. But once she had done her motherly job and knew we had the basics down, she stepped back.

Take other scenarios: Would you say that bosses like to control their employees? Yes, some do. By controlling their work hours, they control their home lives too, to a great extent, and they certainly control how the work is done at the workplace. Does the army like to control its soldiers?-Definitely, there’s total control. That’s the nature of the military. Any church organization, corporation, business, or army has to have a united goal. To reach their goal they need an overseer, head or leader who points them in the direction that they believe is the right way to go, and if people want to be part of that group, they follow. The point is, what’s so unusual about Mama and Peter and the Family? What’s the beef? And we in the Family have the security that the leadership of Mama and Peter is sound, wise and according to God’s will, because we know they pray and hear from Him each step of the way, and they counsel with others.

People have to choose whether they want to be part of any organization, corporation, group or whatever, knowing its guidelines and standards. Being in the Family or being in WS is much the same. I believe that if people are not here for the Lord and because of their love for Him, then the Family is not the place for them. No one has to be here just because they were born into it. Each person should make a choice.

I can’t forget a very important point here, and this might be a bit sensitive for some women! Generally (notice I said generally, as there are exceptions), women are noted for being much more easily labeled as “control freaks.” In my experience with women, such as Mama, Amy, Sara, Dora, and other women who are pushers or like to get things done and are really doing something, it can appear that they are trying to control things. Sometimes they are to a certain extent, and they need to in situations where they are the boss and they are responsible to help people do the right thing, as in Mama’s case.

Some women tend to want to know what’s going on all the time so they can plan, and that can make them appear to be “control freaks.” Mama is an extremely curious cat (Leo) and she loves to know what’s going on. That is part of her job, to know the state of her flocks. When it gets into meddling in our personal lives, then the point of “control” comes up. Mama is a bold woman and she is not afraid to tell people what the Lord says. In fact, she often asks the Lord for messages of love, encouragement, instruction, direction, etc, for people when she feels they need it. Sometimes the messages may conflict with our personal feelings or desires.

This is a point at which we can either take something as from the Lord or begin to complain that Mama is trying to so-called “control us through prophecy.” The choice is ours. When I shepherd, I face the same dilemma sometimes when I have to pass on a message to someone. It’s not easy, and I run the risk of someone feeling like I’m out of line to be trying to “tell them what to do.” But really it’s not me; I’m just the channel or vessel passing on what the Lord wants to say to the person, and the choice is always theirs as to what they decide to do with the counsel and whether they will receive it. Nobody can “force” someone to do something, at least not through prophecy. It’s clear in the Charter that it’s our choice to follow a prophecy that is given to us personally, to pray more about it, or to disregard it.

I think the “control” that people struggle with is more often that the Lord tells us what He wants us to do and sometimes it’s hard for us to do it. Then we can either come to grips with it by going back to the Lord and asking Him about it, or we can choose the easy way out. The easy way out is often to blame things on the deliverer of the message if it’s not one that you received yourself, and say they are pushing you, pressuring you, and that you don’t want to be controlled. As a shepherd I have seen person after person who has received hard sayings in a prophecy and has taken them to the Lord personally and asked Him to explain them and has overcome any questions they had that way. I have done that myself as well.

The key is recognizing the cause of the difficulty and dealing with it. Think about it. Why are you having a hard time with a prophecy? Is it because of who received the message? Then ask the Lord about it personally. Is it because of who is talking to you about it? Then ask the Lord about it personally. There is always a solution to the struggles people have, but the individual has to deal with it personally rather than turning around and blaming someone else or some circumstance. That road leads to destruction, not production for the Lord.

We in WS do strive very hard to live the standard in the Letters in our WS Homes. We try very hard to remain united in our goals. Dad explained why we are different than the churches and other religious organizations when he said:

“I’ll tell you, brothers and sisters, what makes the difference-this huge, vast, insurmountable, incontrovertible, undeniable difference!-It’s our unified leadership and total unity! It’s our unified message and total cooperation! It’s our unified organization and total coordination! It’s your unified obedience and total dedication! We are one Family, one Nation, one Kingdom, one Fold, with one Shepherd!” (ML #189:22)

We have found in our WS Homes that to have this high standard of unity it is necessary that someone with authority can make the final decisions. With so many diverse personalities, so many diverse opinions, someone has to be given the authority to make the final decisions. Of course we try to involve all Home members in Home decisions as much as possible. We have Home Council meetings, and we also ask the Lord about any decisions, but sometimes there is still a need for further counsel and final decision-making. That’s where the teamworks of each WS Home, or Mama and Peter in counsel with their teamwork arrive at decisions, taking into consideration the counsel of others and the Lord’s counsel in prophecy.

The members of each WS Home love and respect their shepherds and have agreed to make personal sacrifices for the sake of the unity of the Home. It doesn’t come up very often where anyone disagrees with the decisions to the point that they get up and leave, although that is their prerogative.

It does make it clear in the Charter that you forgo some of your rights when you come to WS, just like you do in a Service Home. There are good reasons for that. For example, we can’t have people working at System jobs when we’ve invited them to WS for a specific ministry. They can’t fellowship with other Homes when we have certain security standards. There are certain requirements we have in WS, which we try to make very clear to people before they come.

The fact of the matter is, yes, we do have some control, but it’s not anywhere near the extent that James portrays and it is something that those in WS have agreed to. And we have agreed to those terms because we love you, we love our work for you, we love the Lord and we love our shepherds.

Amy and I work with a wonderful team that operates very much according to their faith in life, yet are committed to sticking to a high standard. Some have said we run a tight ship, but let me ask you a question, since you are the ones who support us through your tithes. I was once in your place. I went to the post office every month and mailed in my tithe. I laid hands on that tithe in the envelope and I prayed, “Lord help our WS Family to use this money wisely.” We are shepherds of the representatives that you have sent from the field to serve you in administration, publications, and producing the Word. Would you like me to say that we run a loose ship here, that people work when they feel like it-if they get inspired, they work, and if not, they don’t? Or would you rather that people here work hard, put in long hours, and use the money you send in wisely and are frugal?

Human nature is such that it doesn’t like to make sacrifices and die to self. So our job as WS shepherds, and Mama’s job, has been to get people to be inspired about putting in the hours and working hard for you and making the spiritual progress needed in their personal lives. That is a tough job. Believe me, I know. I almost quit, as you read in the “Spiritual Attacks Intensified” GN (ML #3255, GN 856). Then Dad spoke to me, through the messages that were published in that GN and others. He said, “Son, I trained you, I taught you. You have the anointing, you have the authority. Now use it to accomplish what you know needs to be accomplished.” That’s where my life changed. Rather than running from my calling, I decided to do the hard pick-and-shovel work of being a shepherd. One of my friends on the field, who was a really good shepherd but had stopped shepherding, told me, “I didn’t want to continue to go through the breakings it requires to be a loving and understanding shepherd.” By the way, when he told me this, he was explaining how he needed to get back into shepherding and has since abided in his calling.

I decided to fight on and am still fighting. It’s not easy. I sometimes feel like quitting, just like you probably do. But my personal goal is still the same. I live for winning souls and giving the message of love and salvation to the world. I can’t personally go out and do that much, but I believe that the Family is the best place to do it. I live for you who are out there doing the job. I know it takes faith, and our goal is to provide you with the Word, which gives you the faith to fight on.

Besides the GNs, my favorite pubs are the FAR, Grapevine and other such pubs that show what a tremendous job you are doing. You’d better be doing the job, because we are living to serve you, and if you’re not, I might come out and try to “control” you! Ha! I’m just kidding. I know that’s impossible, as you’re all so different and unique in your special way. We are committed to doing our job here of getting out the Word-which for me means shepherding those who do. I pray we continue to operate in unity here, and with you, so that we can accomplish the Lord’s will for us as a Family.

A Queen To Be Proud Of!

By Abi, CRO, USA

Peter and I met each other in our junior year of high school and ended up as boyfriend/girlfriend from that time on. We met the Family together while traveling in Europe, and we joined in 1971. From the very beginning I knew there was something very special about Peter-he seemed to have a special love for those he came in contact with. Everyone seemed to love being around him. Of course, when we met the Family this came out even more and continued to grow as he lived with Dad and Mama.

When he was asked to go and be with the Folks, he was very loving and considerate about it; even though we parted physically, I never felt abandoned in any way. He continued to call me his wife and was always very loving and caring in our interaction together. Whenever we would see each other it almost felt as if we had not been apart.

Even when he got married to Mama-something I was so happy about as I knew how much Peter loved Mama-he still included me whenever we were around each other.

I’ve had the blessing of visiting with Mama and Peter for extended periods at different times over the years that I’ve worked with them. During these visits I’ve gotten to see the fruit of the Word they so faithfully pour out, through their sample of living it.

If they were as corrupt as some former members make them out to be, I don’t think so many would be touched by their sample of love, concern, and simplicity. I don’t think they could fool all those that they come in contact with.

Like Dad, you can tell that Mama and Peter are not here for their own profit, gain, or comfort-and this is something I’ve seen them sacrifice time and again for others. I don’t think anyone would complain about them being comfortable or having nice things, as they give so much of themselves. But the way they and their household live is a sample of simplicity and frugalness with the Lord’s funds, from their housing, down to their vehicles, furnishings, and personal needs.

Even when there’s a need for something that costs a little more-as they usually get things secondhand-I saw Mama very concerned about the price. She had a very painful ingrown toenail and needed some good walking shoes, and when someone pointed out some which fit without hurting her toe too much, I saw her battle over the price and spending money on them.

Once, while Mama was traveling through our area on business, I saw her choose to stay in a very small motor home over a bigger, nicer one, as she wanted the two secretaries she was traveling with to have that one. And then when it rained and the motor home she was in leaked, you didn’t hear a complaint out of her mouth-only thankfulness that it wasn’t worse. I was convicted, as I felt she deserved something better and could have easily moved into a hotel, which would have been a lot easier physically, but again she opted to stay, remaining happy and content in her surroundings. In my opinion, she is a queen to be proud of.

In working with Mama and Peter I have never felt that I couldn’t say certain things. They have always wanted to hear whatever I had to say, and in fact have encouraged me time and again to speak up and say whatever I felt, even if it was contrary to the way they were feeling.

They encourage us as field leaders to question things and bring them to their attention for further prayer, counsel, and direction. I’ve never felt that we had to always do things the way they’ve been done in the past. In fact, I feel the opposite, and sometimes felt bad that I didn’t have more to contribute in the way of new ideas or suggestions.

You can tell from the Letters that they’re not content with the way things are, but they’re always looking for ways to do things better. It’s so untrue that they don’t appreciate contrary opinions.

I remember a time I was explaining some trials a person I was helping to shepherd was having. After I was done, Mama explained to me that these were very longstanding problems which I needed to be aware of, but she never discouraged me from trying to help, and having faith that that person could change. She is not stuck on how things were in the past, but instead she is a woman of faith-knowing that things can and will change.

I remember getting corrected for whispering something to someone at the table in front of someone who was battling and feeling a little left out. I could have gotten sensitive about this correction, thinking that that person should be a little stronger. But when praying about it, I saw the love and concern Mama has for others-something you definitely see in the Word and through her sample in every way.

These are all things that would not be if Mama and Peter were as corrupt as some are making them out to be. I know that they’re human and probably make mistakes like all of us, but one thing I know is that they respect the Lord’s voice and leading, and in coming to Him so often, if there’s anything that needs to be changed, they will do it, as evidenced by the New Wine coming out.

In Mama and Peter encouraging all of us to hear from the Lord ourselves, you can see that they’re not getting everyone to look to them. They want all of us to have our own personal connection with Him. They aren’t controlling us through the Charter or the S2K-they have just defined for the Family the guidelines the Lord gave for discipleship, which have been right there in the Bible all along.

I’ve seen that when you open yourself up to the Lord for His guidance through prophecy, whether you get it through the Word or yourself through a personal prophecy, the Lord always leads you to do the right thing-the harder thing-as He is helping us to be the disciples He wants and needs us to be-called out and separate.

I don’t know if I can really do the subject justice, but it hurts to hear some of the things that are being thrown out. I know Mama and Peter personally and I’ve seen their hearts through the Letters that have come out, along with seeing their personal sample, and I stand beside them fully convinced that they’re doing the right thing. We have a ways to go and a lot to learn, but I firmly believe that we’re making a mark, and that’s what’s important to me!

How I See Things

By Steven (Silas), CRO, ASCRO

I have been in the Family for approximately 29 years. Having been not only in the Family but in a variety of positions of responsibility over the years, it has been amazing to experience the different revolutions that the Family has gone through-including the graduation of Dad to his Heavenly reward and continued oversight of the Family, the “New Day” weapons that have been introduced through Mama and Peter’s anointed leadership, and their having received Dad’s mantle, like Elijah of old.

I often think back on the different things that have happened over the years, such as the “New Revolution,” the “RNR,” the FFing revolution, the DFing revolution, and so forth-most of which had fairly major ramifications for the Family as a whole, often leading to a realignment of our goals. In some cases, such as with the RNR, it resulted in a clean sweep of the leadership at the time, leading to a “New Day” leadership then as well.

We shouldn’t be shaken in mind or spirit when there is a purging, as it has happened before in the Family. It has almost always resulted in a stronger, more determined, more dedicated Family than before. For example, during the RNR, some of the top leadership of the Family, including Deborah, Jethro, Rachel, Timothy and pretty much the entire “top,” with the exception of Dad and Mama, ended up choosing another path-yet the Family has accomplished more since then than we ever dreamed possible. In some ways, I feel that what we have experienced in the last few years is not unlike that, although in many ways we seem to be faring much better now than we did after the RNR.

The reason I mention this is because of some pretty malicious lies and exaggerations that have been circulating of late, which have destabilized some-particularly some of our younger generation who may not remember that these things have happened before, and yet the Lord has kept us and made us stronger and better through it. “Every branch that beareth fruit, He purgeth it, that it may bring forth more fruit” (Jn.15:2).

I want to share with you a few personal experiences that I have had over the years, from as far back as 1975 when I first met Peter in Italy, before the RNR. Needless to say, we (Endureth and I) have both had our ups and downs, depending on what the Lord was doing in our lives. But thankfully He has allowed us to make it and to change with the different moves of the Spirit that have happened over the years-which is the reason why the Family has kept alive and vibrant to this day, challenging “the very gates of hell.”

My experiences with Mama

I met Dad and Mama when they were living in the Philippines many years ago. We were all living at MWM at the time in Sri Lanka. There was a plan for MWM to move to the Philippines, and I was asked to go house hunting. To my surprise, it turned out that Dad and Mama were living there. To my even greater surprise, I was invited to visit their Home.

Over the years many people have written about how wonderful Dad and Mama are, which I can certainly affirm from my limited 25-day stay. The experience left a lasting impression on me, and it’s something that I treasure and will never forget. Mama was as bouncy, bubbly and full of life as I had read, always concerned for those around her. She went out of her way to pass on to me little tidbits, counsel, love, and appreciation every time I happened to encounter her. Of course, she had not taken on Dad’s mantle at that time, as he was still here with us, but it was clear even then how gifted spiritually she was, and how the Lord had given her such a mother’s care and heart for all of us in the Family. She was then and is now genuine, sincere, and real.

Peter’s anointing

Prior to the RNR days, Endureth and I had worked very closely with Timothy Concerned. Timothy was probably the best friend I had in the Family, and we were also very close to Rachel and Emmanuel. Given this, it was very difficult for me when Timothy left. But I could see so clearly in meeting Peter what the Lord had in mind all along. The Lord knows what our choices are going to be, and while I don’t know if it can be called predestined, it was clear that the Lord had been grooming Peter from the beginning to fill the shoes that had been temporarily worn by Timothy before he left. Peter was anointed for the job. He was concerned, efficient, and organized-everything that Dad and Mama needed at the time.

I remember meeting Peter at Dad and Mama’s house for the first time in that capacity. It impressed me at the time, and has continued to impress me ever since, how personable and down-to-earth and “real” he is. It’s hard to explain. I suppose when you read a letter from Peter, or some of the wonderful and beautiful prophecies that have been shared with all of us, it’s difficult to imagine that these gifts are embodied in such a friendly, easy-to-talk-to, and genuinely concerned man of God.

Personal encouragement through our battles

One thing I wanted to mention about Peter is regarding my “Weakness Revolution” testimony and lessons that you may remember. (See GN 820, ML#3218:256-294.) Different prophecies were received for me, some of which were pretty strong meat, I thought, ha! Dear Mama and Peter lovingly suggested that Endureth be the one to pass these things onto me on their behalf, to make sure that I was able to take it in the right spirit, in an attitude of faith, and not to be defeated by what the Lord had said, but to be challenged by it. Endureth had a wealth of counsel that she had received from both Mama and Peter on this, and it made a huge difference as far as my being able to take the Lord’s Words as from the Lord and not be devastated but rather challenged by the fact that the Lord was bringing this about in an effort to help me to grow and change.

The concern Mama and Peter had for me personally was very reassuring, and they expressed their unconditional love. I know that love is not just for me either, but for every member of the Family. I know from seeing the amount of correspondence between Mama and the field, the various prophecies that she sends to people in answer to their letters and heart cries is very much the same. It’s a spirit of encouragement, a personal encouragement revolution that Mama herself has lived since the onset of the Charter-or at least that’s my perspective from being able to help handle some of the various messages that she’s passed on to different people in our field.

Going back to this time of the “Weakness Revolution,” the other thing that made a big difference was that Peter had taken a lot of time to put together for me, aside from the prophecies, a beautiful letter of encouragement. I can’t remember how long it was, but the first two pages were nothing but encouragement, commendation, and appreciation, which was then followed by six or seven helpful points of what I could do to help safeguard myself from the weaknesses that I have. The points in themselves were very, very helpful, but the thing that impressed me the most was that Peter took so much of his time to make sure that I was feeling encouraged and not discouraged. That, coupled with the fact that both Mama and Peter had gone out of their way to make sure Endureth was able to encourage me personally each day until I had gotten over the hump, helped me to know that they have genuine concern for each one of us in the Family.

Though there may be times when we need to have our weaknesses or the areas that we need to grow in pointed out, this does not necessarily mean anything other than that the Lord is showing a little bit of “tough love” through our dear queen and king. It’s part of their job in shepherding and leading the Family.

Mama and Peter via video

Another recent experience that we [CROs/VSs] had with regard to Mama and Peter was seeing them on video. It was very exciting to see how natural and “real” they were. Not having been around Mama physically very much made the videos pretty exciting for everybody. She’s funny, natural, engaging, determined, spiritual, and wise-everything that the Lord has said. The anointing and the gifts of the Spirit were obvious and impressed us in a wonderful way. Then, of course, the natural way that she and Peter were with each other-both in terms of affection, humor, or the prophecies and spiritual principles that they were sharing-was fantastic.

Peter’s sacrificial nature

Four or five years ago, Peter and a small team visited Thailand. One of the things that impressed everyone who met Peter at the time was how concerned he was for everyone that he met, every Home he visited, every person he talked to, every situation that he encountered, every project that he became aware of. He was extremely sacrificial with his time, and spent a lot of time talking to the different individuals he met whom he felt he wanted to talk to, or who wanted to talk to him, regardless of his personal needs or strength.

He took time in the Homes he visited to meet with the children, to tell them about life with Mama, to show them pictures of Mama and his Home, etc., which the children still talk about. He showed himself so interested in and concerned about the mission field of Thailand, and all that the Lord was doing here.

Mama’s outgoing love and concern for others

This is something that I’ve been impressed by at Summit meetings-how Peter would go out of his way to show the Lord’s love to the various women leaders that would attend, knowing that he is quite in love with Mama, and she with him, and it’s not necessarily that easy being away from each other for such lengths of time.

Knowing what a sacrifice it must be on Mama’s part, it has been pretty remarkable to me to see how Peter has continued to go out of his way to show a large measure of love, sharing with the different women that attended the Summit, knowing again that this is something that Mama is not only a party of, but definitely encouraging. Both Mama and Peter were an example of living the Law of Love to the full. Another thing that has impressed me regarding Mama is how concerned she is for the individual. I know that for Endureth the last many years have sometimes not been super easy for various reasons. Although we are still mated and together in every sense of the word, I am also together with Pearl, and we have several children together.

Although I’m not sure if it’s for that reason, I do know that Mama has gone out of her way to make sure that Peter has shown Endureth a large measure of love during the times we have visited, which is something that Endureth has been very appreciative of. This personal love, concern, and the personal touch is so beautiful and Christlike. It’s somewhat inescapable and these are some of the things that I have seen and experienced with Mama and Peter both.

I hope that gives you a picture of my experiences with Mama and Peter, which couldn’t be anything but wonderful, beautiful, and very real. The Lord is now beginning to bring to pass an era of greater works that will make everything that the Family has done until now seem like building blocks for what He had planned all along. It’s therefore not surprising, just as Mama said in a recent Letter, “Stay on the Wall,” that the Enemy is fighting in a variety of ways, including this particular letter from a former member that is not only insidious, but has the intent of weakening those who the Lord has chosen to carry on this work until He returns.

If I were the Devil…

By Magda, CRO, Russia

Recently I wrote an article for the Grapevine concerning my visit to Mama and Peter’s Home. I shared there some highlights of my time with them and with the members of their Home, but I would like to write more about Mama and Peter and their dedication to each one of us, dear Family.

I hear the statements and accusations of some of the ex-members, which make me wonder “which” Mama and Peter they visited or know, as it seems like I’m hearing about totally different people when I read or hear about some of those truly strange declarations!

Mama and Peter are humans like you and me. They are people with both weaknesses and strengths. They’re growing and learning, like you and me. They’re making their decisions and choices each day, and they’re not exempt from struggles and battles, just like you and me. They use the power of the Word and prayer to learn His ways in their daily lives, and with all that is within them, and they try their best to lead the Family as He wishes. I don’t claim that they’re perfect, but I do know that they’re honest followers of God’s Word and desire nothing else but God’s best for the Family.

Some of the ex-members seem to believe that Mama and Peter are in it for money and for control. It couldn’t be funnier to even conceive such an accusation, but to come even close to believing it is even more preposterous. And what about control? You can’t be serious! If you know anything about dictatorship and full control, you must also know that it usually comes with such qualities as tyranny, totalitarianism, and absolute rule, which I never found in Mama or Peter’s behavior, nor in my personal interaction with them, neither in the Letters written by them.

When visiting their Home earlier this year, I had an opportunity to counsel with Mama as well as with Peter about different needs of the people on the field. Mama often expressed her concern that there’s not enough love being shown. She wanted to know what can be done for people to feel more appreciated, more loved, and she was concerned about it not because of money and control, but because she truly cares for you and me. She is a simple believer who is determined to follow God and His Words even if no one else will. And she’s doing it out of love for Jesus and not in self-righteousness or her own strength.

Peter is so excited about all that the Lord is doing in teaching us new ways of doing follow-up, and giving more Word to the world around us. He too is a believer of Jesus and His Words. He is not perfect and he never will be, but neither will you nor me. During my visit to their Home, one day during a meeting Peter asked me, “What else can we do to help the Family? What can we give so the Family will be able to do what we’re called to do-to go into all the world and preach the Gospel to every creature?”

If he or Mama were interested in gaining full control over us and “using us” for money, we would never have those Letters teaching us about making decisions on our own. We would never have the Charter. They could just change the leadership structure to a more restricted one. Other worldly governments/leaders have tried, and they succeed in being totalitarian leaders, with much fear in the ranks of their people, many restrictions, and much hatred from the people. It never brought the fruits of joy and peace and faith that we have in the Family.

Let’s for a moment look honestly at the Word we’re receiving-new weapons, new directions, new methods. Were you expecting the Family to stagnate and be the same from the day we started? Were you expecting that God would get silent and let us still eat donuts and run around in search of hippies, driving around the States in big buses? Were you hoping that we’d always be God’s servant and never learn how to be His friend, much less His Bride? I hear and see many lives changed for the better (including my own) because of the new weapons. I also hear and see mockers, scoffers, and disbelievers of those new methods and new weapons. Some ex-members say that they feel sorry for people like me who use those new methods and who are so “brainwashed” and have to suffer an “institutionalized life.” I don’t believe that they’re so smart and I’m so stupid that they can think for themselves and I am not able to.

From my childhood, I was always very curious about life, and at a very young age I became very interested in God and His teachings, His ways of working. Meeting the Family was just another stage of growth in my spiritual walk with God. I don’t agree that just because I’ve known God since my childhood that I’m not able to make my own decisions or be able to see for myself if what Mama and Peter are sharing with us in the Word is true or deceitful. I have my own personal connection with the Lord, and I can communicate with Him. I can ask Him things as much as Mama and Peter.

I haven’t yet found things in their teachings that would go against the basic teachings of the Bible. I have seen, however, many problematic situations in people’s lives and Homes-which weren’t the result of Mama and Peter’s wrong leadership methods, or the “wrong” Word we have, but rather a lack of living the Word. We’re in training, and much is required of us in the spirit, as well as in the physical-but it’s the personal choice of each one of us. Mama and Peter are very special people who are dying daily to make our lives better, and I would feel ashamed to ever accuse them of being in it for money or control.

Let’s play a game for a moment. Can you imagine yourself being the Devil for a moment? It’s the Endtime. It’s a new millennium, where the Devil’s minions have received new strength and anointing for the era ahead of them. The children of God likewise received new strength and anointing to go forth and perform miracles as never before and to become teachers of the Word as never before.

Being the Devil, I would shoot where it hurts and where the damage would be greatest. I know by now that I can’t attack with accusations and methods I used last year; I need to have some new weapons myself. I know that many dedicated Family members are in their last stages of being purged and tested in preparation for the era of action. Many are over that, and yet many more are fighting battles and could be a great target for me. How should I attack? I’ve tried doubts, fear, persecutions, financial struggles. But how about throwing some dirt on Mama and Peter? Not many know them well; there are many that are already wondering what it’s like at Mama’s Home. I could strike at them, and at the same time weaken the trust and faith others in the Family have in the Word that Mama and Peter are sharing with the Family. I know my days are numbered. I know I’m bound to lose the final strike on that battlefront, but if I act fast, I can at least slow down the work, discourage and confuse some, and I can also deceive some and lure them into my (the Devil’s, that is) words and beliefs. I will never have them fully, but at least I can use them temporarily.

We are each mature enough people, and those who know Jesus can find the answers to those questions themselves. Read the Bible, if nothing else. If you have questions and you feel confused, call on God.-He is able to answer and is willing to show you the truth. Are you willing to hear and to believe it and act on it? We all know that we’re in the Time of the End, and we know that the struggle over men’s hearts will intensify. It’s not a playground we’re in anymore; it’s a battleground, and it will only get more intense. But it will also get more victorious for those of us “who know our God” so we can “do great exploits!”

Travesty of the Truth

By Bonnie, USA

Recently someone in my Home got an email from a friend containing a lengthy letter which is being circulated from James Penn (commonly known as Phil, also known as Jay or Ray). James was a long-time member of WS, but left the CM Family a little over a year ago. This letter was supposed to be a personal letter written to a couple in answer to their question of why he had left the Family, but it seemed pretty obvious to me that it was written with a much broader vision in mind, as evidenced by its pubs-like format.

I’ve lived behind the scenes in WS for 16 years-12 of them with Dad, Mama and Peter. And I happen to know James very well. I also lived in the same Home as James for the two years previous to his departure from the CM Family, during the beginnings of the GPU (now FCF). All that to say that I definitely have something to say on the subject matter of his letter!

Since James feels so free to share his views and opinions of things, I would like to also take the opportunity to freely express mine-which differ considerably! James devotes pages to voicing bitter criticisms and judgments of Mama and Peter (as well as Dad) and their shepherding of the Family, condemning them for everything from the way they handled the issues brought up in the B.I. court case, to their dependence on the Lord through and full faith in prophecy, to their use and application of prophecy, to the way they shepherd people in WS, etc., etc. He uses much carnal reasoning, witticisms and sarcasm to mock Mama and Peter and the New Wine and supposedly prove his point, all the while portraying himself as some poor “victim turned hero,” now himself a “beacon of light” shining the way out of the darkness to help others. Oh boy, give me a break!

James seems to have lost something vital on his road to higher logic and reasoning, and that is simple faith. His road has in fact led him to the depths of judgment and bitterness. Following the Lord and the Word and His prophets has never been and is never going to be “logical” or widely accepted or understood by the mind of man. Reading the Bible shows us that. “For the carnal mind is enmity against God. It is not subject unto the law of God, neither indeed can be.” “My thoughts are higher than your thoughts, neither are My ways your ways, saith the Lord.”

Having lived in the same Home with James before he departed from the CM Family, I could write as many pages as James on what transpired in our Home that long year before he made his decision to depart. James spent very little time in the Word. He had a very exalted opinion of his ability to handle things in his own strength, and deemed himself to be quite far above the average Family member in his intellectual abilities.

While he now out of one corner of his mouth praises and commends Family members for their service to the Lord, Godly attributes and sincerity, during that last year before leaving he made derogatory and condescending comments about Family members as a whole, feeling he was above normal Family members and it was his duty to help these poor, pitiful, brainless people. His comments were very arrogant and self-promoting.

Somehow, in spite of his lack of Word and his operating according to his “great intellectual mind,” he seemed to see himself to be a great discerner of spiritual matters. Hmmm. It was a continual weakness with James over the years that he needed to be reminded to stay in and feed from the Word, especially with the ministry he had of helping to research and write for the more legal and media-oriented pubs. Unfortunately, he spent many more hours of his time reading and studying the words and opinions of man and the world and man’s wisdom than the Lord’s and His Word, and prided himself in his knowledge.

I believe his anger and frustration at Mama and Peter and the way they decided to handle things because of what the Lord showed them in prophecy is because ultimately his pride was offended that they did not take his advice, his “logical” and “reasonable” suggestions. They listened to and considered his and others’ suggestions, and brought them before the Lord, as they always do. But ultimately they follow the Lord and do what He shows them to, and it may or may not be in accordance with what others may think or suggest. James accuses Mama and Peter of not listening to others, but this is far from the truth, as any one of those of us who has lived and worked with Mama and Peter can testify, and which is even evidenced by the many topics in the GNs that Mama addresses that have come from the Family’s personal letters to her and Peter. What really bothered James is that they didn’t do what he wanted them to do and what he thought was best.

Another factor that I personally believe offended James’ pride regarding the use of prophecy is that he did not have the gift of prophecy himself, and it somehow offended his superiority when others who he looked upon as less intelligent and important than himself could receive prophecies about things which Mama listened to and treated with equal respect as anyone else, no matter what their job or position. After all, it was the Lord’s Words, and it didn’t matter to her who they came through and how smart or educated they were. It didn’t matter to the Lord or Mama, but from cutting remarks I heard from James, obviously it mattered to him!

Prophecy sort of leveled the playing field, so to speak, and James found himself feeling not quite as lofty and important as he deemed himself, and this highly offended him. To think that a “lowly” kitchen staff worker could get a prophecy that could override his great and mighty opinions and vast personal wisdom! (It was the hit dog-or should I say humbled dog-who was now howling!) With the growing use of prophecy, people’s opinions were still sought and listened to, but ultimately what the Lord had to say about things (no matter who it came through), and what His opinion was, determined the final outcome. In my opinion, James felt a loss of power and importance, which was very disconcerting for him.

One thing that really angers me is that James thinks he can get away with writing such slander about our loving shepherds, and present such a twisted distortion of them and situations and events by playing upon his position as a long-time member of WS, someone who was really “up there” and “in the know,” and using that as a platform of credibility to dump his disgusting doubts, putrid bitterness, weak faith and gross misrepresentations of the truth on others, basically trying to poison others with his hatred.

He tries to use examples of people who were supposedly mistreated, prophecies that supposedly contradicted each other, things that were decided and said and done, details that he knows that the vast majority of Family members aren’t aware of because they weren’t there, to sow doubt and suspicion and fear and mistrust in people’s minds about Mama and Peter, as well as the New Wine. But hey, I also “was there,” as were others in WS, and sorry, James, “it just ain’t so!” He can’t hand ME that stuff, nor the rest of those that were and still are there. In fact, some of us were there when he wasn’t, and we are aware of the full picture and what happened in each of those supposed examples and situations he writes so confidently and knowingly about. It truly is amazing what some people choose to leave out of their account of things!-Like most of the details and background and important circumstances surrounding their little “factual” statements of things.

James seems to want to make people think that he is the “dispenser of all truth” on “what really happened” when it comes to WS and goings-on behind the scenes and the real scoop about Mama and Peter’s leadership. Well, I guess he just forgot there are a few of us around who were “also there.” Maybe he was counting on us not saying anything. Oops, sorry about that, James.

If people want some nitty-gritty, “inside scoop” stories, I could write a book on what it was like living with James the year or more before his departure from the CM Family. It would probably make for quite interesting reading. But I’ve got better things to do with my time than to write such things, when there’s so much to be done for the Lord, and you’ve got better things to do than read it. It infuriates me that he would attempt to download his big stinking load of spiritual fecal matter on every unsuspecting soul who received his letter!

It grieves me deeply to hear James speak so critically and judgmentally of Mama and Peter when they extended so much love, care, patience, concern, understanding, guidance, prayer and support to him personally for so many years. Personally I was astounded at Mama and Peter’s prolonged love and patience, and willingness to go the extra mile and have faith for him.

I too have received so much from them. Dad and Mama are like my parents. Along with Peter, they loved, shepherded, provided for, listened to, prayed for, trained, encouraged, inspired, comforted and cared for me in every way possible for many years. They were, and continue to be, the most loving, caring parents and shepherds in every way that I could ever hope for. When I joined them in my mid-twenties, I was not quiet, meek, humble, disciplined, spiritual or well trained. I was just the opposite, a bit of a handful, a wild horse with a lot of energy and strong will and a host of NWOs that would have scared anyone! But they saw past all those things (which, believe me, wasn’t easy!) and saw my heart and love for the Lord and desire and willingness to serve Him with all my heart. In spite of the rough material I was made of, they had the faith to take me into their arms, their hearts, their lives and their Home and love me, shepherd, teach me and train me into a more useful vessel for the Lord.

Dad loved each one of us as his children, and no matter what kind of harebrained things we did or how we stumbled and fell, even though we very likely got corrected for it and sometimes a good “spanking,” he was very quick to forget and continued to love us always; there was no doubt about that. I personally made Dad very upset on one occasion through my selfishness and stubbornness, and got quite a deserved tongue-lashing for it. But Dad came up to me afterwards and looked deep in my eyes and took me in his arms and said he was sorry he had to spank me but it was because he loved me, and I knew it. There was no doubt about his love. He made an effort to spend special time with me later on that day just to make sure I knew.

There were many mistakes we on the staff made over the years, both large and small, serious and not so serious, and Dad continued to be the loving father and shepherd that he always was, instructing, guiding, teaching, feeding, correcting, encouraging, comforting, and above all, loving us. And he had fun with us too!

And dear Mama has a very special place in my heart, as she has been, and continues to be, a very real and tangible personification of the Lord’s love, patience, mercy, understanding and tenderness through the years to me. She has never expressed anything but total faith, love and encouragement for me through the years-and sometimes that has been a tough order! Because of my strong will and personality and consequent weaknesses, I have gone through a number of breakings and the Lord’s hand working in my life. I have not been an “easy child,” so to speak. I am not an exceptionally talented or gifted person in any area. I am pretty ordinary, so it’s not like I had some great indispensable talents that outweighed all the trouble I was at times! It was really just the Lord’s love and mercy through Mama, as she continued to encourage me and express faith in me and love me and pray for me through it all. She had faith for me when I did not have it for myself. She loved me when I didn’t see how anyone could love me. She loved me in spite of myself and my weaknesses, and believed the Lord for me and manifested that love and faith, patience and tenderness for years, and still does. THIS is how Mama treats those who live and work with and for her, and so does Peter.

This love Mama has does not stop within her household or WS, but is extended to all of us in the Family. Aside from loving the Lord Himself, Mama lives and breathes for this Family! I can testify that she is thinking of the needs of the Family every waking hour of her day, day after day, as she lays down her life continuously in prayer for us, listening to our letters, bringing our heartaches, needs and desires before the Lord, and then seeking the Lord for His answers and guidance and instruction on practically every aspect of our lives. She lives to receive and feed us the Lord’s Word. She lives to give to us-to give us the Word, to give us love, to give us encouragement, to give us faith, to comfort us, and give the Lord’s answers to our needs and questions. Her whole life is for us and revolves around us-to give us what we need to love, live for, and serve the Lord, and be happy, healthy and provided for in doing so. You have no idea how relentlessly she and Peter both labor for the Family day in and day out, to their own sacrifice. In my observation, Mama and Peter have done and continue to do all that is humanly possible for the Family.

To hear someone like James say that Mama and Peter do not lay down their lives for the sheep is a gross travesty of the truth, a heinous lie! They do nothing but lay down their lives every single day! They both bear a huge burden of responsibility for this Family! How would YOU like to be responsible to the Lord for and daily be confronted with the burdens, problems and heartaches of those in the Family? How would YOU like to be responsible for making some of the decisions that Mama and Peter have been faced with in times of intense persecution-where you neither want to water down or nullify the truth of the Word that the Lord has given just because of the pressure of the godless world system, nor do you want to jeopardize the lives and freedom of our children and Family members?

Most of us can barely carry our own burdens, or those of our personal families, Homes and situations (which we often bring to other shepherds or Mama and Peter), let alone bear those of the entire Family! It is so easy to sit in the judgment seat and criticize others when we’re not the ones who are responsible before the Lord for the outcome and its sometimes serious consequences. I’m sure it would make each one of us very very desperate! And so it does Mama and Peter.

If Mama is anything, she is most certainly a woman of prayer. If anyone believes in prayer, I can testify that she does! She believes in it, and she practices it, and makes sure those who live and work with her do the same-and bear our burdens and the burdens of our Family daily in prayer. She and those who live and work with her pray continually for us-our problems, trials, afflictions, provision, protection, ministries and situations, both generally and specifically. She and they often pray for specific people and situations they know of around the world, and they are aware of a lot. Those in WS consider it a part of their service to the Family to fight for and support you daily in prayer, and this is due to Mama’s personal conviction and love and concern for you, and her faith in prayer, which she practices herself, along with Peter.

Mama is very much touched with the feeling of others’ infirmities, and more concerned about others’ troubles or suffering than her own. Any of us who have lived with Mama over the years know how cheerful and positive she is in spite of some of the intense afflictions she has endured for years at a time with her eyes, headaches, and for a while profuse bleeding. Often you would talk to her on the intercom or see her in the hallway, and unbeknownst to you she would be battling a headache or her eyes were extremely sore and hurting, or she was nigh to fainting due to weakness from loss of blood. Yet you would never know from her countenance or reaction to you. She would always be full of love and concern for you, asking you about yourself and your work and how you were doing, being sure to love and encourage you in some way, and listen to any of your problems or woes, and pray with and for you on the spot, all the while suffering herself.

I have had regular migraine headaches for the past six years. Thank the Lord, they are much milder than they were in the past. I first started getting them regularly when I was with Dad and Mama, and they were rather severe. Mama was always very concerned when she heard I was getting one, and would usually call me on the intercom. I would try to insist on working until it got to the point I was not capable of working, because there was so much to do and not so many of us to do it. But Mama would make me stop working at the first sign of a headache and insisted that I forget everything else and just rest and get whatever I needed to make me as comfortable as possible. Not only would she pray for me herself but would have everyone else in the Home praying for me. She would have people check on me regularly to see if there was anything I needed or they could do for me to make me more comfortable, whether it be dashing to the store for some bubbly water to help the nauseousness; preparing something for me to eat; or getting a cold washcloth and bathing my forehead, or lightly massaging my head. She would have someone take time from their work to sit and read the Word to me to encourage my spirit and give me something to hold onto during this time of affliction and battle. She would make sure there was an intercom right beside me within reach so that I would not have to get out of bed or look for it should I need to call someone for help or prayer.

Many times Mama told me how she admired my fight and perseverance through my affliction, and how her afflictions were nothing by comparison. Well, I certainly beg to differ with her on that one! My headaches, however severe at the time, usually only occurred once a month and only lasted for 24 hours. Dear Mama faced very sore eyes on a daily basis and often had headaches while carrying her huge load of responsibility in the feeding and shepherding of the Family, yet remaining so cheerful and positive all the while. To me, she is amazing!

Mama always deems others’ sufferings greater than her own, yet her own sufferings have given her great compassion and tenderness towards others who suffer, not only physically but spiritually or emotionally as well.

All I can say is I have never been as loved or well cared for in every way as when living and working with Dad, Mama and Peter. I have received great love, care, understanding, input, training and shepherding. However undeserving, I consider myself to have been incredibly blessed, even “spoiled,” to have received so much when deserving so little. It was just the Lord’s love through them-through Dad, Mama, and Peter.

So, if you want to know how Dad, Mama and Peter treat those who live and work with them, that’s my experience.

I know there are many of you who have met Peter on his travels and have seen what kind of a man he is, and I’m sure there is no doubt in your mind why the Lord has chosen and entrusted him with the responsibility of being our king. We couldn’t ask for a kinder, gentler, more loving, serving king.

All I can say is “wherefore by their fruits you shall know them”-the fruits of the Family all these years in the way of souls reached, the message going out to all the world and those helped and won to the Lord; and the fruits in your own lives from the wealth of Word and spiritual input and training that has been poured out to you, and your own relationship with the Lord. That is fruit of Dad, Mama and Peter being willing to lay down their lives for you every day to take on the burden of the responsibility of shepherding this Family and its many facets, people, ages, nationalities, situations and complexities. It is a burden and responsibility of desperation, of prayer, of sacrifice, of love, and of giving without end. Those are the kind of shepherds we have! Thank You, Jesus!

My Personal Experiences

By Simon, CRO, USA

I’m almost 51 and I’ve been in the Family for over 29 years. That’s over half of my life. That’s a long time, and while there are some former members today saying that I’ve wasted my life, I can truthfully answer that the investment of nearly 30 years in the Family has been well worth everything that I have had to give up to serve Jesus fulltime.

I joined the Family without ever personally knowing or meeting Dad or Mama. I didn’t join a personality cult, but I made the decision to serve the Lord in the Family because I felt very strongly that the message they stood for was something that I wanted to give my life to. I judged them by the fruit that they were bearing in their service for the Lord. The same reason I joined the Family many years ago is the same reason that I’m still in the Family today-because the Family was the most on-fire, soul-winning group of people I had ever met.

Although the Family has been through many changes over these 29 years, one thing that I feel has remained a constant, never-changing principle is the goal to see Mark 16:15 fulfilled, that of living our lives for Jesus and winning the world with His love. That’s why I’m still in the Family today, because I still feel that we are the greatest soul-winning organization around.

I first met Dad and Mama during the first part of 1978 when my wife and I were asked to be a part of some discussions pertaining to the reorganizing of the work. The Family at that time was going through some major reorganization in order to be able to do an even better job of evangelizing the world, but we were also meeting to discuss how to take better care of those who worked hard to witness to the lost world, the ones that Dad said were on the tops of God’s list, the front-line witnessers-the missionaries. We personally met with Dad and Mama almost daily for the two weeks we were there, and it was easy to see that their loving sample and concern for every Family member was not just something that you read about in the Letters. I was able to see firsthand the loving shepherding of Dad and Mama and come to love them as the kind and sacrificial people that I always knew they were. Their real-life sample of love and concern for the little people was plain to see.

For the next year I worked closely with them, via letters and reports, until we moved into a house in close proximity to them where we stayed for about three months. We had the opportunity to work very closely with them, as well as the other members of their personal staff. Although I was going through a particularly difficult time in my life, I received a lot of personal comfort and assurance as well. There are a few things that stand out to me that happened at this time, which have stuck with me through the years.

After having listened to a personal message on tape that Dad had made for me, a talk which contained some personal correction and instruction, I was pretty discouraged, to say the least. I was discouraged to the point that I felt that I didn’t have the strength to make the changes that I knew I needed to make. I knew that I was in need of getting my spiritual life straightened out, but I really didn’t know what to do. Dad was pretty firm with me, but I knew it was the truth and that I needed it, and I’m thankful to this day for all he did to help me.

After asking for united prayer, I was still feeling pretty down and discouraged about everything, when Dad suggested that I just relax and not worry about anything and to enjoy the evening by watching a movie with everyone. I certainly needed this encouragement, and although I had a hard time relaxing, this has always stuck with me and made me feel loved and cared for in spite of my shortcomings. A short time after this, while working on a project, Mama came to check on me to see how I was doing, and her encouragement to keep holding on and making progress was a help to me as well.

I remember one of the last times that I saw Dad and talked with him was after having Thanksgiving dinner with him and Mama and the rest of the staff. It was a very memorable time together, and although I had made a lot of mistakes during the three months I lived close to them, I did not feel any condemnation from anyone at all. All I felt was love and understanding in spite of my mistakes. After dinner, Dad put his arm around me and said, “Son, I’m so thankful to see you making it!” We didn’t have much time to talk, but those words and his loving actions assured me that I was not condemned, but forgiven.

During the last almost five years of being a CRO, I have been working once again closer with Mama and Peter and others of their staff. While there are some who are saying that Mama and Peter are manipulative and that they have to have the last say about everything and control everything, I have to take exception to statements such as this. I have found Mama and Peter to be just the opposite of manipulative or control freaks. I have attended various Summit meetings with Peter, some lasting as long as two months, and I have seen a very concerned and ready listener who sought out our counsel and opinions on every matter. His and Mama’s concern for the happiness and overall spiritual well-being of each Family member was very evident by their desperation to hear from us and get our opinions.

Attending these meetings and seeing once again the way that Mama and Peter operate through prayer, counsel, and deliberation was clear evidence that they do not use prophecy as a means to get their own way or push their own program. I have always been encouraged to speak up and to give my opinion on anything and everything. During the Summit meetings, we gathered in small groups on a daily basis where we would take the opportunity to ask the Lord many questions about practically every aspect of the Family’s mode of operation. What always stood out was Peter’s concern, like Dad’s, on how to make things easier for each Family member. It didn’t matter if the point being discussed went along with the Family’s usual way of doing things or not; I never once felt that I couldn’t freely express my ideas or opinions. In fact, I was always encouraged to speak up even though maybe I thought my ideas were totally different than others.

I believe that some former members are confused about what openness or having an open mind really is. The following example may not be the best illustration, but maybe it will help some of you who may be struggling as a result of some of the things that some former members are saying. I hope it will help you to see things differently by remembering that every secular organization or business has a set of rules or guidelines that they operate within. Members of these organizations or employees of these businesses are expected to abide by their standard if they wish to remain as members or stay in their employ. If I worked with the Ford Motor Company, I’m positive that the engineers and production and marketing analysts would welcome suggestions which could help them build more and better cars, but I don’t think that they would appreciate it if I tried to stop production of Ford automobiles because I felt that Dodge was a better car or because the Dodge company’s method of producing automobiles was better. The latter would lead the supervisors to believe that you did not like the Ford Motor Company.

I think the Family operates much the same way. I know for a fact how Mama and Peter operate because I have lived very close to them at times and visited with them personally and I have been involved in some of the decision-making process of the Family concerning many things. They are always very happy to hear from anyone, and welcome his or her suggestions on how to improve the Family and keep it moving forward where everyone can be happy and content in his or her service for the Lord. I do know, though, that if someone is not happy with our beliefs or lifestyle to the point that he wants to disrupt or sway others, then it would be better for him to go elsewhere and “build cars” in a manner that he is the most comfortable with.

Last year, I and several others were able to meet with Mama over lunch when she and Peter came through our area on a short business trip.

We had the opportunity to discuss many work-related matters, as well as enjoy some very nice fellowship together. As always, when we talked and counseled together, the thing that stood out to me the most was Mama’s concern for the work and for every Family member. The needs of every single Family member were foremost in our conversation together.

Later, I was able to have some personal time with Mama in which I was able to open my heart with her. I hadn’t seen Mama for almost 20 years, so I was quite nervous to say the least. Just as I had witnessed her concern and deep love for others, I was now experiencing it again personally, myself, as we talked together. When she put her arms around me and hugged me I cried a little, but I knew I could open my heart without fear and that she would handle it with the greatest care. I told her about some of the difficulties that I was presently experiencing, but I never once got a sermon or felt condemned in any way, just encouragement to explain my feelings and that everything was going to be okay. Just as I was taught many years ago when I first joined the Family, she reiterated once again how important it was for me to make sure that I take the time needed to ask Jesus about the things that I was going through so that He could answer my questions and comfort my heart Himself.

I can assure you that you have someone who cares very much for you and who would never think of forcing you to do something you did not feel was right or do something you didn’t have the faith for. When my son was diagnosed with leukemia, the letter my wife and I received from Mama was a very heartfelt and concerned letter, as if she was suffering right along with my wife and me. Mama expressed her thankfulness that we were able to hear from the Lord ourselves and thus able to get our directions straight from Heaven.

In closing, I don’t worry that Mama and Peter are leading the Family by coercion or prophecy to move the Family in the direction they want, as some former members say. I have seen that this is not true, and their mode of operation, which I have witnessed myself, indicates clearly that they have a healthy fear of the Lord, are more than willing to counsel and explore all sides of a question or problem, and are desperate with Jesus to get His custom-made instructions for the entire Family.

If you’re struggling with some of the things that some former members are saying, I hope that my positive experiences of knowing and working with Mama and Peter over the years will help allay your fears. I also want to once again encourage you to judge them by their fruits. They have always encouraged all Family members that they can and need to have their own relationship with Jesus and that each person needs to look to Jesus and not to them. Contrary to what some say, they are very humble, loving, and fun, and I enjoy being around them and working with them.

Mama, Peter, and the Grandkids!

By Rejoice, WS

My name is Rejoice. I worked with Keana (Techi) during her teen years, and have been involved in the daily care of Mama and Peter’s grandchildren, Trevor and Olivia, for the last four and a half years.

About a year and a half ago we moved closer to Mama’s Home for a while, and there I met her for the first time. During the time that we were living nearby, Mama and I had some talks together.

Even before I met Mama, her love and concern for Keana and the grandkids came through in her wanting me to communicate regularly and share news of how things were going. I’m a mother whose grown son is off on a mission field, so it was very easy for me to understand Mama’s desire for this communication. You want to hear news about your child because you love them so much and they’re such a part of you.

Something that I admired in Mama was that I never felt my communications with her had to be watered down. I didn’t feel I had to hold back and not be honest with her even when Keana went through her difficult teen years. There were a couple of times when I felt nervous about some of the things I wrote, but Mama took everything in stride and would right away write back encouraging notes to me along with either some counsel or telling me how they were praying for the situation and Keana and me. I think it’s a wonderful quality in a mother to be able to hear not only the good things about your child, but also hear about the hard times they’re going through, and then not blame you for their hard times, even when I know there were times I didn’t handle things as well as I could have.

Then Keana had Trevor, Beth had Olivia, and once Mama was a mommy but now she is a grandma. What’s more, the mommies, grandkids and I, along with some others, moved nearer to Mama and Peter’s Home for a time, so Mama and Peter got some hands-on grandparent training. I’m happy to report that although some of the first sessions were pretty exhausting for them, they came through with flying colors. Ha!

Mama is a normal grandmother, although she is the first to admit that caring for little kids is not her forte. The kids are live wires, and Mama and Peter have sometimes come out of a few hours with the kids ready to take a nap. Nevertheless, even when she and Peter have been busy with the affairs of the Family, they really try to make time for the grandkids.

When first living near them, they were so excited about the grandkids and decided they would take the kids on an outing. The mommies were a bit concerned, knowing full well how exhausting two four-year-olds can be, especially these guys who are so full of energy. So after talking a bit with the mommies, Mama and Peter decided, “Well, maybe we’ll take them for a few hours in the afternoon instead of for a full day.”

Mama and Peter haven’t been with young kids this age probably since David and Keana were that age; plus, as you know, as we get older we just don’t have the stamina that we used to. After a few hours with these guys (and there’s nothing shy or meek about these two once they warm up!), both Mama and Peter were wiped out and told the mommies that perhaps the next time they’d bring a support staff. Ha! After taking the kids that first time, Mama and Peter also took them for other outings. (This time the mommies went along!) They did things like going to the circus and to a marine park.

When Trevor was sick with a cough, Mama called to talk to him on the phone to encourage him and pray for him. He was so excited. While he was on the phone, Olivia was in the background shouting she wanted to talk with grandma too, which of course Mama had full intentions of doing.

One time when Mama and Peter were going to take a trip, the kids, upon hearing about it, wanted to draw and color some pictures for them and also send them prophecies for their trip.

The kids love Mama and Peter a great deal and often talk about them. One day when Olivia was talking with Keana about their grandparents, she said, “I know Peter is my grandpa, but I call him King for short.” Ha!

When the kids were making a card for Mama’s birthday, I was suggesting different pictures to draw, and one was the picture of Mama with the sheep. They had on occasion seen some real shepherds, so they both looked at me and I could tell they were visualizing Mama as a shepherd of real sheep and trying to figure out why on earth, with all she had to do, she would be walking across the pastureland herding a bunch of sheep. Then the penny dropped and they realized, “Oh, but we are the sheep, right?”

One time when Mama and Peter were at our Home giving a talk, they wanted to be sure that Olivia and Trevor had special time with them. So when they first came they spent a bit of time with them and then had a dinner with them and the mommies. After the dinner the kids were just beaming and telling me of all the fun they had while with their grandma and grandpa. I wish I could remember all their little stories of what went on, but what sticks in my mind is how happy and excited they were and just talking on and on about all the fun they had with them.

Mama and Peter, being in many ways typical grandparents, give the children little gifts at times. One thing that stood out to me was that they were concerned that when the kids thought of them they would associate their love and care and gifts as coming not only from them, but from the Lord as well. They try to bring the Lord into the conversation with the kids whenever they can, but not to the extreme where it gets to sounding preachy. The little surprises they give to the kids range anywhere from books, a magic trick set, or a prophecy from Jesus printed on special paper.

The kids love receiving prophecies from grandma and grandpa, and are so excited when they get home to show them to us.

Also at Christmas and for the kids’ birthdays, Mama and Peter made sure they spent time with them, along with giving a gift to each of them and praying for them. The gifts they gave weren’t extravagant, but to the kids, the fact that their grandparents gave it to them makes them very special. On their last birthdays, which are eleven days apart, Mama and Peter spent time with each one of them individually. They wanted to emphasize to them that Jesus’ Words are the very best present of all, so they gave them each a beautiful birthday message printed out clearly in big letters with pictures and borders and stickers. They gave these to the children first, emphasizing what a special privilege it was to receive such a wonderful present from Jesus. Later they gave them a toy, but only after making a big deal of the birthday prophecy-reading and discussing it together. I know that it always touches the mommies’ hearts to see both Mama and Peter so concerned about the kids and taking time from their very busy schedule to spend with them.

Mama is very concerned that each one gets equal time, and anything she gives to one, she goes out of her way to make sure the other has the same or something equivalent. One day I told Mama that the kids noticed that one of their prophecies was on a larger paper than the other. Mama responded that she had a check about that, but that the prophecies were already printed out so she had gone ahead, hoping they wouldn’t notice. She made sure the next time she sent a prophecy for them that they each had the same size paper. That takes time and love to go to that degree to make sure one child doesn’t feel they’re any more special then the other.

In talking with her about the little guys, Mama has been very supportive and encouraging in my care of them. She has never made me feel that I don’t do it right or anything like that. She is so easy to talk to and always listens when I explain different things the kids are learning or battling, and she’ll often take my hand or touch my shoulder and shoot up a prayer right then and there for them and me.

When first hearing that I would be coming to live closer to Mama, I wondered what it would be like. I understood that Mama was very concerned for all the children in the Family, and from what I’d read and heard, I felt that she tried not to be partial in her love even with her own, but I did wonder what she would be like around her daughter, son, and grandchildren. I was very impressed as I saw her give them that personal love and touch that only a mother and grandmother can provide. She’s concerned about their health, their relationships, their ups and downs, their needs, basically everything.

From what I’ve seen, though, she has this level of concern with all of us. True, it may be manifested differently with each individual, but she doesn’t show partiality to those of her immediate family, but has that motherly concern and love for all. It’s a tough role to play, because she wants her own family to know that they’re special to her, but at the same time she’s also a mom to us all, and I personally think she plays this role very well.

Each time I’ve seen Mama she asks me about Keana and about how the grandkids are doing. Whatever she can do to help, whether it’s with a prayer, spending extra time with them, or whatever, she’s available for them and it’s obvious.

I hope this gives a little insight into Mama, and Peter too, and their interactions as parents and grandparents. They are concerned and caring people, but a lot of fun also. They enjoy mixing and mingling with us and letting their hair down when they can. I love them and like them too, and I’m sure you would also if you’d get to meet them.

Meeting Mama!

By Naomi, 23, CRO, EURCRO

The very first time I had the opportunity to meet Mama, I was very happy and excited, yet I was a bit nervous at the same time. (Editor’s note: Mama and Peter had to make a business trip, and during the course of their trip, stopped for a brief visit at the CRO office.) Just a few days before, I had written her and Peter a letter expressing some of my battles and trials regarding my job as a CRO. I was battling a lot at the time, and I expressed to them that I’d been tempted to step down from my responsibilities, and shared my battles and trials with them. Although I had decided before writing them that I would not step down from my responsibilities and would carry on as long as the Lord wanted me to be a CRO, still, I felt bad for having felt that way, and I felt a bit condemned about all that I shared with them in the letter.

So when I met Mama, I was a bit nervous, wondering what she thought in light of the battles I had shared in my letter. The first thing she did when she saw me was just give me a big hug, and was so sweet and friendly. She put me at ease right away. She didn’t mention anything about my letter, but just lovingly hugged me and encouraged me.

Later we sat down together and she thanked me for sharing the things I did, and she prayed for me. She didn’t make a big deal out of it, or make me feel uncomfortable in any way, but she prayed a beautiful prayer, and was such a strength and encouragement.

I’ve heard some folks say that Mama and Peter don’t treat people very well, especially those who are not totally loyal and “on board.” Well, I’d have to say that at that time, it could have easily seemed to Mama and Peter that I wasn’t very “loyal” or “on board” in having these types of battles and wondering about my place of service, etc. But she treated me with such love and care, and I knew that she would love me no matter what I did-even if I were to step down from my responsibilities, or even leave the Family. I knew that she loved me and cared for me as a person.

In having met Mama personally, I can personally testify what a loving person she is. She is not some high and mighty queen that everyone has to bow down to. She carries herself just like anyone else. She interacted sweetly with my children and spent time talking with them and listening to them. She sat at the dinner table and ate the same food we ate. There was nothing she did that made me feel she was “above” me or that I needed to tiptoe around her. She is very down to earth and very normal.

It saddens me to hear the things some of our detractors say about our dear queen-saying that she is a manipulative control freak, that she only cares about herself, that she pushes her own way, etc. I’m sure our dear Family members would agree with me if they had the chance to meet dear Mama in person that she is so loving, so sweet and humble, and you can feel her love through the things she says, through the prayers she prays, through everything she does.

I was so touched to see her sample of praying about and for everything. In the course of our conversation, we talked about different situations and different people, and she would just stop and pray for each person and situation as we talked. At one point, Mama and I were talking about my 3rd pregnancy, and she was asking me some questions about it, when she remembered that someone in one of the WS units had gone into labor earlier that day. She stopped right there and prayed a simple prayer for the woman in labor, and then we carried on with our conversation. She must have prayed for different people and situations about five or six times during the 45 minutes I spent talking with her. It is just a way of life for her, the way she operates, and it touched me to see how concerned she was about others, and praying for people and situations constantly. The love she has for people oozed right out, and it was very clear that she was not thinking about herself at all, but was always concerned about others.

I just wish it was possible for all of our precious Family members to have a chance to meet Mama, and any questions or doubts they may have will be gone in an instant when they see her smile, her loving and warm personality, her deep and sincere love for the Lord, her humility and desperation to stay on the right track to lead our Family. She is a queen to be proud of, and I’m so thankful for such a loving and concerned queen and shepherdess! No matter what others may say about her, I know from my personal experience in meeting her that she is very close to the Lord, very much in tune with the Family and its needs, full of love, care, and understanding for each person in the Family, and a beautiful sample of the Lord’s love, and no one can convince me otherwise!

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